Mother-in Law

[Jimbuna]

A married couple were in a terrible accident where the man's face

was severely burned.The doctor told the husband that they couldn't

graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny.

So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the

only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have

to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they

would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested

that the doctor also honour their secret. After all, this was a very

delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the

man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before!

All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful

beauty!

One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with

emotion at her sacrifice. He said, 'Dear, I just want to thank you

for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?'

'My darling,' she replied, 'I get all the thanks I need

every time Isee your mother kiss my ar$e.'

[kranz]

what I find funny here is only your political correctness with word "honour":rotfl:

[SteveW1]

LOL :rotfl: very nice indeed

[Task Force]

:rotfl: Good one Jimbuna, where did you hear this one.:rotfl:

[nikimcbee]

:rotfl: Good one Jimbuna, where did you hear this one.:rotfl:

Who says it was a joke? I say it was a "friend" of Jim's.:hmm: :rotfl:

[Task Force]

:huh: Could it be:huh: Jimbuna himself:huh: . Jimbuna, is some of your wifes skin from her a#$ on your face.:rotfl:

[rifleman13]

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::arrgh!:

[TarJak]

:rotfl: Good one Jimbuna, where did you hear this one.:rotfl:
Who says it was a joke? I say it was a "friend" of Jim's.:hmm: :rotfl:It wasn't me:lol:

Nice story tho Jim:rotfl: Keren loved it.

[Jimbuna]

:rotfl: Good one Jimbuna, where did you hear this one.:rotfl:
Who says it was a joke? I say it was a "friend" of Jim's.:hmm: :rotfl:It wasn't me:lol:

Nice story tho Jim:rotfl: Keren loved it.

She should do....it was Keren that told me http://imgcash3.imageshack.us/img152/9959/rollingaroundlaughingly2.gif

[Wolfehunter]

:rotfl: Thats a good one. I sent it to my mother in law hehehe.:rock:

[Hanomag]

:rotfl: Good one Jimbuna, where did you hear this one.:rotfl:

LMAO :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

The local pub...no doubt!

[Jimbuna]

:rotfl: Good one Jimbuna, where did you hear this one.:rotfl:

LMAO :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

The local pub...no doubt!

http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd320/pasquarade/drunkcob.gif

[Task Force]

Jimbuna, why does your hat say Cob.:lol:

[Jimbuna]

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, 'He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.' Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

'Oh no, my dear,' replied granny. 'Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.'

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, 'He'd still be alive if the ice cream van hadn't come along'.

[Task Force]

lol,thats funny. Killed by the Icecream mans tune.:rotfl:

[Jimbuna]

Jimbuna, why does your hat say Cob.:lol:

Check my sig :hmm:

[Task Force]

Oah now I get it C heif O f B oat.

[Jimbuna]

Oah now I get it C heif O f B oat.

http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/6395/gwxcob2jc5.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[Wolfehunter]

:rotfl: Man I cried laughing on that one... Icecream man...:up:

[Jimbuna]

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."

I was stunned- frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. She pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.....we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."



And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in the car! http://imgcash3.imageshack.us/img412/4774/thumbsuplargeon1.gif

[Hitman]

:rotfl:

A man meets a friend he had not seen years ago: "How do you do, man, long not seen you!! How come that??"

His friend replies: "Well, my wife and me had been members in the Opus Dei organization, you know"
"Oh, I see, and how was that, very hard?"
"Yeah, we were asked not to have sexual relations in at least 6 months, to proof our commitment and ability to reject temptations"
"Wow that sounds very hard!"
"No, not completely. The first month went troubleless. The second was already a bit hard. The third was really, really difficult. But then, in the fourth month I was behind my wife when she dropped a box of cookies and she bowed to pick them. She was wearing a short dress, you know...and when she bowed I saw that she was wearing under it just a tanga. I couldn't help myself, I jumped at her and we did it right there, inmediately"
"Oh, what a pity! So you will never be admitted in the Opus Dei again, right?"
"Nope....and neither in Wall Mart shops!!"

[Jimbuna]

:lol: :up:

[Task Force]

:up: :rotfl: to the both of you and your jokes.:rotfl: