Stupid Skipper Trick # 14

[Seminole]

I saw the pigeon coming from a long away off. Patiently manouvered into a good postion..our approach will bring him to within 700 yards.. at a 90 degree angle. Raised scope.Took all the necessary TDC data observations. Input them. Checked the solution. Dang near perfect. Ordered General Quarters. Opened torpedo doors. Just sitting there waiting for the turkey to strut into range.

Then suddenly...he not only starts a crazy zig zag ..but opens fire...look XO... was it too much to ask of you to remind me that I forgot to pull the plug??? I got a lot on my mind during these attack runs you know?..You're beached bub, if we ever get back to Brisbane.:nope:

You never did anything as foolish as that...right?...:lol:..No of course not...

[Q3ark]

Ha ha :rotfl: that's a good one.

I tried to crash dive in 40 feet of water to avoid aircraft once or twice, drove the thing right into the seabed not the brightest thing I have ever done.

[Digital_Trucker]

You never did anything as foolish as that...right?...:lol:.. :oops:

[jamz]

I often mistakenly leave the periscope up when I'm trying to be sneaky and stealthy, and then wonder why airplanes are bombing the poop out of me. :dead:

[Arclight]

Diving to PD to avoid airplanes, forgetting that they can now see me submergerd with RFB. :nope:

[iksoks]

running out of fuel 200 miles from Pearl is my latest blunder.....

[SteamWake]

look XO... was it too much to ask of you to remind me that I forgot to pull the plug??? I...

Priceless :rotfl: :rotfl: :damn:

[Rockin Robbins]

I'm yo-yoing with the sub. Running TC 1000x until plane detected, ramp it up to 16x, dive if neccessary, ramp up to 64x, wait for 5 minutes, go to radar depth, surface if all clear: normal procedure. Went real good. I had to dive, ramped time compression up to 64x at 100', waited the 5 minutes, stabbed the semicolon and forgot that Ducimus had just reprogrammed the semicolon to steep dive.... CRUNCH!
http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/aa293/RockinRobbins13/smileys/shootingsmilie.gif................................ ......:eek:<--Ducimus

[Nuc]

I was backing down and lining up a stern shot. I had outer doors open and tube 5 selected (Salmon Class) when I realized I had closed and then crossed the track. I continued backing to set up a bow shot. Got a good set up however when it was time to fire I shot the stern tubes :damn:

[GunnersMate]

I was backing down and lining up a stern shot.

Whenever I do that I mix up port & starboard. "Right Full Rudder!" - "I Mean Left! Your Left !!!" :88) "Ah heck with it. Secure from Battlestations":doh:

[Seminole]

:hmm: ...Its a lot like watching the wife back the truck and boat on a trailer down to the boat ramp while you stand by making ready to unhitch... isn't it? :o

It would be easier if the rudder dial happened to be labeled port and starboard instead of left and right.

I just keep my eye on the sub's bow...determine which direction it should travel in order to get the stern to go where it needs to.. and apply OPPOSITE rudder...after the brain does a quick translation to right/left from port starboard....

....piece of cake really...becomes almost second nature after about the 1,437th time of screwing it up...:yep:

[Urge]

A long time ago, I read a book about WW2 by some Adm.(maybe Halsey?) and he talked about keeping a piece of paper in his safe for when he got stressed out or something, anyway on the paper it said "port is left, starboard is right"

Urge

[Task Force]

A long time ago, I read a book about WW2 by some Adm.(maybe Halsey?) and he talked about keeping a piece of paper in his safe for when he got stressed out or something, anyway on the paper it said "port is left, starboard is right"

Urge
Handy way to remember them.:rotfl:

[Drakken]

You never did anything as foolish as that...right?...:lol:..No of course not...

I misstook a Lexington for a Japanese CV, and for once none of my torpedoes happened to be duds. I'd take it is even more stupid. :doh:

[Seminole]

Oooochhhh...I would hate to have to explain away a whole Lexington Class carrier back at Pearl....what happend to you?..any penalty?


...but isn't it too "funny" how those duds aren't duds when just you want/need them to be...:nope:


I wouldn't try it myself , but I do expect... if you fired a single torpedo from a stern tube in the general direction of a friendly vessel from 11000 yards in Heavy seas, heavy precip and heavy fog..set for 5 foot depth...it would invariably hit amidships and sink whatever it chanced to be..carrier..battleship...crusier...:shifty: ..but then I'm a natural born pessimist... ;)....experience tends to make one so you know...:yep:

[peabody]

:hmm: ...Its a lot like watching the wife back the truck and boat on a trailer down to the boat ramp while you stand by making ready to unhitch... isn't it? :o


Don't complain, she could have drove it down instead of backing it down. :rotfl:

Peabody

[GunnersMate]

Marginally better than writing P and S on your hands

[Arclight]

Boy, bad patrol this time.

Very nearly ran aground. Not on a reef or something, no, an island. :88)
http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj2/EZatHome/SH4Img2008-09-03_062749_656.jpg
http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj2/EZatHome/SH4Img2008-09-03_062800_718.jpg

After that, I was rushing home to Midway and I ran the sub into a friendly warship at ahead full. :nope:

Not a good day, not at all. :down:

[Seminole]

:hmm: ...Its a lot like watching the wife back the truck and boat on a trailer down to the boat ramp while you stand by making ready to unhitch... isn't it? :o


Don't complain, she could have drove it down instead of backing it down. :rotfl:

Peabody

I tried doing the backing instead of the unhitching but the first time she got pulled into the water...the second she let go of the line ,to keep from getting pulled in..and I had to swim for it..and the water up here is always mighty cold..

So now she does the backing even if it does take multiple tries.:shifty:

[GunnersMate]

Boy, bad patrol this time.

Very nearly ran aground. Not on a reef or something, no, an island. :88)
http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj2/EZatHome/SH4Img2008-09-03_062749_656.jpg
http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj2/EZatHome/SH4Img2008-09-03_062800_718.jpg

After that, I was rushing home to Midway and I ran the sub into a friendly warship at ahead full. :nope:

Not a good day, not at all. :down:

Interesting way to give your crew liberty :up:

[Jetman123]

I'm a complete and total newb having only bought SH4 and it's expansion a month or so ago, and still am getting used to medium realism. So excuse me if I seem ignorant... but what do you mean by "pull the plug" in the original post there? I seem to have missed something. What did you do? :P

[Falkirion]

"Pull the plug"=Dive

[Zero Niner]

I'm guessing he means to submerge/dive.

[kylania]

Welcome to SubSim and SH4 JetMan! :p:up:

[Jetman123]

Oh, no WONDER! xD

It's why I like the U-boat missions. Now you have that handy little thing in the upper right that lets you know if you're submerged or not.

Imagine just going by on the surface in a merchant ship when you see a submarine "stealthily" sitting on the surface in "ambush". I bet you 50% of skippers would think they weren't even seeing a submarine looking that stupid and just keep cruising along. :P


Actually, I like to use that tactic to ambush poor singular merchant vessels. Sit in front of him and watch him slowly weave back and forth while you nibble him to death with the deck gun.

[Seminole]

I'm a complete and total newb having only bought SH4 and it's expansion a month or so ago, and still am getting used to medium realism. So excuse me if I seem ignorant... but what do you mean by "pull the plug" in the original post there? I seem to have missed something. What did you do? :P

It is typical colorful U.S. Navy idiomatic American English for "Dive The Boat"....nothing to do with the sim directly...sorry if I had you "barking up the wrong tree"...

[peabody]

I'm a complete and total newb having only bought SH4 and it's expansion a month or so ago, and still am getting used to medium realism. So excuse me if I seem ignorant... but what do you mean by "pull the plug" in the original post there? I seem to have missed something. What did you do? :P
It is typical colorful U.S. Navy idiomatic American English for "Dive The Boat"....nothing to do with the sim directly...sorry if I had you "barking up the wrong tree"...

I'll speed things along here, "barking up the wrong tree"=Looking in the wrong place.:lol:

Have a nice day, and "don't take any wooden nickles"

Peabody

[Seminole]

Ok..lets not beat around the bush and we''ll just put the licks in:


Comprehensive reference source:

http://www.merrycoz.org/voices/bartlett/AMER01.HTM#intro


http://www.merrycoz.org/voices/bartlett/TP.JPG


Though you may not find "pull the plug" listed...since the book is from a time before submarines were in general use...and probably has not been updated since...

[buddha95]

forgot to take my crew off GQ and my boat went dead, just as a jap task force with carriers and BBs came my,,, 90 degrees,,, slow,,, no zig-zag. I could only wave,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[Jetman123]

It's no problem, really. I'm the newbie here. :P

[Rockin Robbins]

Oh, no WONDER! xD

It's why I like the U-boat missions. Now you have that handy little thing in the upper right that lets you know if you're submerged or not.

Yes, but a truly skillful skipper has such ability to focus on the situation at hand that he ignores that handy thing in the upper right...http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/aa293/RockinRobbins13/smileys/drowning.gif

[magic452]

I had just ambushed the IJN fleet heading to Midway, got them coming and going,
sank 3 CV S. Refit at Midway and returned to my assigned patrol area with much success.:lol:
Returning to Pearl Harbor with huge tonnage and hit the same island as Arclight.:damn:
Bow trop room guys not happy.:down: We got to Pearl and Halsey himself congratulated me for the 3 carriers:sunny: than busted me to bilge rat for the island thing. :oops:
As you can see I’m still there.

[Arclight]

:rotfl:

I managed to dodge the island... by the skin of my teeth. :lol:

The real trick was ramming that cruiser at +17kts, they really didn't thank me for that one. :nope:

Doubt I had much of a bow torpedo room left after that. :hmm:

Note to self: do not use excessive TC in home waters. :damn:

[Brenjen]

I run 8,000+ TC all the way in lol....I've only rammed something once. Not sure what it was....I was sinking & seeing my XO look at me like I was a complete jackass. I'm surprised he didn't hand me a helmet & tell me to remember to take the short bus. All that & the "dock" button was flashing in the corner; if I had just taken my foot off the gas a second sooner.

TC will definetly get you into trouble but I can't help it, I'm too impatient for normal time cruising when I have 4,000 miles left to go.

[SteamWake]

seeing my XO look at me like I was a complete jackass.

Thats the same look he gives you when you press the D key instead of the S key at high time compression and slam into the bottom.

[Arclight]

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Speak of the devil! You won't believe this one;

I was running at high TC towards my patrol zone on a new patrol just now. At the same time, I'm trying to flash the BIOS on another PC I have sitting here next to me for repair (USB cam locks up, along with USB mouse, if you start the cam's software. :hmm: ). I booted it from a floppy and typed "dir"... on the wrong keyboard. :nope:

Suddenly I hear bulbs popping and pipes bursting, and I see my XO looking at me like I just insulted his mother, with the screen slowly fading to black. :lol:

Yeah, that "D" key is a killer... especially combined with TC. :damn:

[Zayphod]

forgot to take my crew off GQ and my boat went dead, just as a jap task force with carriers and BBs came my,,, 90 degrees,,, slow,,, no zig-zag. I could only wave,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Guilty as well. BTW, there's a mod (I think) that changes the color of those buttons from light yellow/bright yellow to something like dark something to bright green (indicating 'active'). I should look into that myself.

[Sailor Steve]

Ok..lets not beat around the bush and we''ll just put the licks in:

Comprehensive reference source:

http://www.merrycoz.org/voices/bartlett/AMER01.HTM#intro
Though you may not find "pull the plug" listed...since the book is from a time before submarines were in general use...and probably has not been updated since...
Boy, you really like to run things into the ground. I, on the other hand, am now probably beating a dead horse.


...flash the BIOS...
Now there's a term that would have confused anyone just 30 years ago.



seeing my XO look at me like I was a complete jackass.
Thats the same look he gives you when you press the D key instead of the S key at high time compression and slam into the bottom.
Which is why the only key I ever hit when in TC is 'Backspace'.:sunny:

[Seminole]

=Sailor SteveBoy, you really like to run things into the ground.


Oh.. you must mean like the way you drive your sub?...;)

[Seminole]

forgot to take my crew off GQ and my boat went dead, just as a jap task force with carriers and BBs came my,,, 90 degrees,,, slow,,, no zig-zag. I could only wave,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Guilty as well. BTW, there's a mod (I think) that changes the color of those buttons from light yellow/bright yellow to something like dark something to bright green (indicating 'active'). I should look into that myself.

There is one like that. I asked about it over on the Mod Forum a while back. You can change the buttons any way you want to suit your needs or fancy...

It is easy to use though at first it looks quite formidible (at least it did to me)...

It can be a life saver when you are in a big hurry to get things done fast...and seconds count..:yep:


http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=131625

[THE_MASK]

Just remember the color of port is red as in alcohol . And port has the same number of letters as left so port is left and its red .

[peewee]

or remember it this way...all the shortest words one side, all the longest the other...

Port
Red
Left

Starboard
Green
Right

......I think.........or is it?..........no, that's right.........I mean Starboard.........but what about when you leave your home Port to Starboard.......damn, now I'm really confused

and another thing.......why is it called a 'Port' and not a Starboard? I guess 'a girl in every starboard' sounds weird.....

and another thing.......that guy on the US $20 bill doesn't look anything like Michael Jackson....

just don't quote me ok? I'm going back to my padded cell now........:D :D :D :D :D :doh: :huh:

[Sailor Steve]

Or you can do like I used to, and combine the 'R's. Right is red, except it's not, so I would say "Right is red is wrong", and then I would have it right.

and another thing.......why is it called a 'Port' and not a Starboard? I guess 'a girl in every starboard' sounds weird.....
Actually (did you want a real answer, or am going way off the beaten path?), they used to have a steering board instead of a rudder, and the "Steer Board" was on the right side, so the boat was always docked with the left side against the pier, facing the port. The left side was sometimes called the "Lee Board", which became "Larbord" to the British and "Backboard" to the Germans.

[SilentAngel]

set up for patrol.... plan route.

crank up time compression to hear alot of crunching.
Perhaps I should've steered AROUND the lighthouse out of the harbour instead of go on a ramming course.

That was my shortest patrol ever lol

[peabody]

or remember it this way...all the shortest words one side, all the longest the other...

Port
Red
Left

Starboard
Green
Right

......I think.........or is it?..........no, that's right.........I mean Starboard.........but what about when you leave your home Port to Starboard.......damn, now I'm really confused

and another thing.......why is it called a 'Port' and not a Starboard? I guess 'a girl in every starboard' sounds weird.....

and another thing.......that guy on the US $20 bill doesn't look anything like Michael Jackson....

just don't quote me ok? I'm going back to my padded cell now........:D :D :D :D :D :doh: :huh:

So.....you are saying if I want to turn to the left then Starboad is not right, port is right? And why isn't it Portboard? I know I'm gettin bored with the whole thing, I just don't know if I'm Starbored or not.

"Hard to port"
"Port sir?"
"Right"
"Oh, Starboard?"
"I should have Left you in Port"

And how do you get back to base if you say "Return to Port" and they keep turning left?
At least I know "Who's on first"

Peabody

[Bosje]

SH3, not 4 but relevant to the topic :)

first time I ever loaded up the game, I failed to consider that they had scripted the entire harbour with my boat in its dock. looking at the map, I noticed I was in Wilhelmshaven, zoomed in a little and plotted a course out to the open sea. (remember how in SH2 you'd usually start any mission out at sea?). Boat automatically goes to ahead standard and I start looking at all the other nice stuff there is to see, I plan to finish my little tour on the bridge.

to this day I don't know exactly why I did not look at the pretty scenery first thing, it would have made sense... either way, next thing i know I get damage reports and collision warning. erm, ah, oops

turned out I had been trying to leave port by pushing those cumbersome wilhelmshaven docks out of the way

[Sailor Steve]

@ Peabody: You've been reading way too many Balz stories. Until further notice you are hereby forbidden to read any SH3 threads, which are the ones that come before the SH4 ones which follow the SH3 ones, except that the SH4 ones are higher on the list so technically the SH4 ones come before the SH3 ones which follow the SH4 ones.

Follow? Right.





@ Bosje: I hate to accuse you of being redundant (actually I love doing that, but I have to be polite) but many many people have made that same complaint. Personally I've never done that. I've done a lot of other stupid things, just not that one.
:rotfl:

[peewee]

or remember it this way...all the shortest words one side, all the longest the other...

Port
Red
Left

Starboard
Green
Right

......I think.........or is it?..........no, that's right.........I mean Starboard.........but what about when you leave your home Port to Starboard.......damn, now I'm really confused

and another thing.......why is it called a 'Port' and not a Starboard? I guess 'a girl in every starboard' sounds weird.....

and another thing.......that guy on the US $20 bill doesn't look anything like Michael Jackson....

just don't quote me ok? I'm going back to my padded cell now........:D :D :D :D :D :doh: :huh:

So.....you are saying if I want to turn to the left then Starboad is not right, port is right? And why isn't it Portboard? I know I'm gettin bored with the whole thing, I just don't know if I'm Starbored or not.

"Hard to port"
"Port sir?"
"Right"
"Oh, Starboard?"
"I should have Left you in Port"

And how do you get back to base if you say "Return to Port" and they keep turning left?
At least I know "Who's on first"

Peabody


jeez, which part of 'just don't quote me' do you not understand...... :roll: :roll: :roll: ................some mothers kids.I dunno.........:rotfl:

My wife is just as bad...........typical driving directions...........turn left here.........no, the other left.....

[Seminole]

Wow..I'm having a flashback.. .to Abott and Costellos' Whos On Second?


right ,left, starboard, port...:huh: ..hayfoot..strawfoot...

[Bosje]

@Steve: sorry never heard anyone else do that before, but then I'm a relative newbie to these forums. Either way, redundancy is bunk. But thanks :sunny:

[Digital_Trucker]

Wow..I'm having a flashback.. .to Abott and Costellos' Whos On Second?


right ,left, starboard, port...:huh: ..hayfoot..strawfoot...

Just the mention of that skit makes me start rolling:rotfl:

[Seminole]

:lol: ..Rainman wuz fond of it too...or maybe obsessed would be a better word...;)


...you do know it is available for the gramaphone right?..or at any rate it is in mine somewhere..where it came from I couldn't say..I've got so many files stuffed in there...but it randomly pops up ever now and again.

[Sailor Steve]

Wow..I'm having a flashback.. .to Abott and Costellos' Whos On Second?
No, What's on second. Who's on first.

[Seminole]

One base at a time!

[peabody]

Wow..I'm having a flashback.. .to Abott and Costellos' Whos On Second?


right ,left, starboard, port...:huh: ..hayfoot..strawfoot...

No, who's on first, What's on Second.
I don't know....third base.

@ sailor Steve
Follow? Right.

Wouldn't that be "Follow? Starboard.

Peabody

[peabody]

:lol: ..Rainman wuz fond of it too...or maybe obsessed would be a better word...;)


...you do know it is available for the gramaphone right?..or at any rate it is in mine somewhere..where it came from I couldn't say..I've got so many files stuffed in there...but it randomly pops up ever now and again.

If you ever find out where it came from, I would love to have it!

Peabody

[Sailor Steve]

Wow..I'm having a flashback.. .to Abott and Costellos' Whos On Second?
No, What's on second. Who's on first.

No, who's on first, What's on Second.
I don't know....third base.
Are you a dollar short, too?
:rotfl:

[Nunya]

:lol: ..Rainman wuz fond of it too...or maybe obsessed would be a better word...;)


...you do know it is available for the gramaphone right?..or at any rate it is in mine somewhere..where it came from I couldn't say..I've got so many files stuffed in there...but it randomly pops up ever now and again.

If you ever find out where it came from, I would love to have it!

Peabody

It's on Captain Midnight's CBS mod.

Link: http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=108756

[Urge]

It's also on Fred's 1943 songs under 1940s music.
http://hosted.filefront.com/fred8615/2111686
but it's not available for download right now although Fred says it will be back.

Urge

[Seminole]

If you ever find out where it came from, I would love to have it!

Peabody

No problem send me a PM with an e-mail address and I will shoot you off a copy of the file. It isn't a very large file. Now that I come to think about it..I believe it might possibly be in the TMO mod's Sound Files...you could check and extract it from there if it is.

[peabody]

If you ever find out where it came from, I would love to have it!

Peabody
No problem send me a PM with an e-mail address and I will shoot you off a copy of the file. It isn't a very large file. Now that I come to think about it..I believe it might possibly be in the TMO mod's Sound Files...you could check and extract it from there if it is.

I'll check it out. Thanks.

@Sailor Steve: I'm usually two dollars short.:doh:

Peabody

[Sailor Steve]

@Sailor Steve: I'm usually two dollars short.:doh:
:lol: :rock: