One for the ladies :D

[kiwi_2005]

Email circulating at the moment

INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate.


DEAR DESPERATE,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!
Tech Support

[Q3ark]

Ha ha :rotfl: that is so true

[Morts]

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[Platapus]

The problem with upgrading from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 is that usually the operating system is also changed from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 too

[Monica Lewinsky]

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Yea, this stupid jerk wore an out-dated tie to his own wedding with his tux. Ladies are smarter in certain areas:

http://learnabit.homeserver.com/lab/weddingday.jpg

[jpm1]

lol . i have one

a husband is in very bad health , he's living its last moments , its wife's beside him . the guy says my dear i've no longer to live now its nearly the end . the wife looks at him , the guy says my beloved you 've to promise me something when i die i want all my money to be burried with me , the woman looks at him then says to him of course my dear whatever you want . the guy sights then after few moments he dies . at the funeral ceremony a guy which was beside and which heard everything comes close to the woman says i've heard what he asked to you you did it , you really put all its money with him ? the woman turns over and says of course i did i made him a check

[Platapus]

[quote=kiwi_2005]


http://learnabit.homeserver.com/lab/weddingday.jpg

That is an *interesting* wedding gown :hmm:

Did this wedding take place at the Mustang Ranch? :lol:

[Red Heat]

Email circulating at the moment

INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate.


DEAR DESPERATE,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!
Tech Support

So true! :rotfl:

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wonder if this software has any conflicts with Kids 1.0b - 4.0

[Platapus]

I wonder if this software has any conflicts with Kids 1.0b - 4.0


Kids are the only malicious code that can be prevented by a Trojan.

(rimshot)

Thank you,Thank you, You have been a great forum, I will be here all week. Tip your waitresses

[Digital_Trucker]

I wonder if this software has any conflicts with Kids 1.0b - 4.0
It does, Kids 1.0b - 4.0 causes Sanity 2.3 and PeaceOfMind 1.6 to occasionally crash. When this happen, merely reboot into BabySitter mode and after a few hours, Sanity 2.3 will restart, but PeaceOfMind 1.6 won't work again until Child - 20 something is installed.

[1480]

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Yea, this stupid jerk wore an out-dated tie to his own wedding with his tux. Ladies are smarter in certain areas:

http://learnabit.homeserver.com/lab/weddingday.jpg

There's a guy in the picture, all I see is twins in bonnets.....

[Etienne]

http://learnabit.homeserver.com/lab/weddingday.jpg

As you can see, he's watching his investments closely *Rimshot*

[bookworm_020]

Why concentrate on the face??:hmm:

"runs to avoid an irate wife"

BTW Nice joke, even if I've see it before.

[Monica Lewinsky]

BTW Nice joke, even if I've see it before.

How about this one? Seen it before?

http://learnabit.homeserver.com/lab/99-words-for-boobs.wmv

[Frame57]

Geez! Those are not breasts, those are pontoons!:rock:

[Sailor Steve]

BTW Nice joke, even if I've see it before.

How about this one? Seen it before?

http://learnabit.homeserver.com/lab/99-words-for-boobs.wmv
I,ve stopped looking at references that require a two-minute load time just to see a picture.

[kurtz]

man,"Doctor, I think my wife has died"

doctor,"What do you mean, think?"

man,"Well, the sex is still the same but the laundry hasn't been done in a week!"

[HunterICX]

man,"Doctor, I think my wife has died"

doctor,"What do you mean, think?"

man,"Well, the sex is still the same but the laundry hasn't been done in a week!"

:rotfl:

here's another one:

A Couple is having Sex,
at the sudden the husband asks...babe, can I ******* you in the Ear?
No sais the lady, then I turn Deaf!
Bullsh!t..20 years in the mouth didnt shut you up

HunterICX

[Platapus]

An lady drowns in the water at a European beach.

Bystanders remove her from the water and reverently put her on the beach and run to get the authorities.

When the police officer reaches the scene, he finds a Frenchman having sex with the body.

"Just what do you think you are doing having sex with a dead body!!" screams the police officer.

"She is dead?" the Frenchman exclaims in horror, "I thought she was an American."

(rimshot)