The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, died and went to heaven...

[SUBMAN1]

Arthur Davidson, the inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute, then said, "I want to hang out with God."

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?"

Arthur said, "Yes, that's me."

God said, "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally he said, "Excuse me, but aren't You the inventor of woman?"

God said, "Yes."
"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions...

2. It chatters constantly at high speeds...

3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.

4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust...

5. And the maintenance costs are enormous!"

"Hmmmmm, you have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."

God went to His Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. "Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.

[AVGWarhawk]

THE BEST Put Down LINE EVER
For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an 'Australian treasure!'


General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military h eadquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio went silent.

[SUBMAN1]

Shopping Trip...


A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart and the
husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their shopping cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.

'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies.

'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife and so
they carry on shopping.

A few aisles later the woman picks up a $20 jar of face
cream and puts it in the shopping cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.

'Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and its half the
price.

[Sailor Steve]

Subman, that first one was great! (the others are too, but I liked the first one)

This one isn't about women, but it is about dying and going to heaven:

A man dies and goes to heaven (bet you didn't see that coming). At the pearly gates he asks expresses some reservations about activities there.

"Do you have racing?" he asks.

"Do we have racing??? Every single day we have the Heavenly 500. In fact it's about to start now!"

So their watching the cars lined up on the grid, and the man asks "Isn't that A.J. Foyt's helmet? I didn't know he was dead."

Peter replies "He's not. That's God. He likes to think he's A.J. Foyt."

[bookworm_020]

Love them all:up:

I liked the Peter Cosgrove one the best. I can almost here the clang of the interviews jaw hiting the ground!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[Jimbuna]

I like the Harley one especially.....you pasted the text, probably because you encountered the same problem I did last week and couldn't get the accompanying gifs to animate after transferring. :lol:

[Yahoshua]

One story related to me by an old vietnam vet:

During basic training, on the live firing portion of the training, one recruit couldn't shoot worth a damn. Regardless of the time and coaching the DI gave this kid he just wouldn't improve and the last straw came when the private told him "Sir, I'm just no good at this. I can't hit anything."

The DI, exasperated and mad as hell yelled at the private "Well I guess you better take that rifle, go into the bushes and shoot yourself in the face, maybe you won't miss then!!" The DI then promptly threw a partially filled magazine at the private and stormed off toward the other end of the firing line.

Upon reaching the end of the firing line and about to commence firing range calls, a shot rang out from where he'd just walked from. Fearing the private was actually stupid enough to do himself in, the DI called a ceasefire and ran toward the bushes on the other side of the firing line.

A dumbfounded private walking toward the DI looked up with a sobering face and told the DI "Sorry sir,......I missed."

[Jimbuna]

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

The position of the dirt bag.

[Sailor Steve]

Oooooooooh...OUCH!

[Jimbuna]

Oooooooooh...OUCH!

Not necessarily a viewpoint or belief I subscribe to personally however. :lol:

[mcf1]

:rotfl: all of them nice, especially the first one.
Here's another one

Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates.

The Lord spoke unto them saying, "I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie....Hell is waiting for you.

To the first man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The first man replied, "Lord, I was a good husband. I never cheated on my wife." The Lord replied, "Very good! Not only will I allow you in, but for being faithful to your wife I will give you a huge mansion and a limo for your transportation.

To the second man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The second man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife twice." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a four- bedroom house and a BMW.

To the third man the Lord asked, "So, how many times did you cheat on your wife?" The third man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife about 8 times." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a one-room apartment, and a Yugo for your transportation.

A couple hours later the second and third men saw the first man crying his eyes out. "Why are you crying?" the two men asked. "You got the mansion and limo!" The first man replied, "I'm crying because I saw my wife a little while ago, and she was riding a skateboard!"

[FIREWALL]

:rotfl: all of them nice, especially the first one.
Here's another one

Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates.

The Lord spoke unto them saying, "I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie....Hell is waiting for you.

To the first man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The first man replied, "Lord, I was a good husband. I never cheated on my wife." The Lord replied, "Very good! Not only will I allow you in, but for being faithful to your wife I will give you a huge mansion and a limo for your transportation.

To the second man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The second man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife twice." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a four- bedroom house and a BMW.

To the third man the Lord asked, "So, how many times did you cheat on your wife?" The third man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife about 8 times." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a one-room apartment, and a Yugo for your transportation.

A couple hours later the second and third men saw the first man crying his eyes out. "Why are you crying?" the two men asked. "You got the mansion and limo!" The first man replied, "I'm crying because I saw my wife a little while ago, and she was riding a skateboard!"


LMFAO :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[Jimbuna]

LOL :lol:

[mcf1]

I got another one, I heard it in Greek, so the translation may not sound funny.

What have potatoes and women drivers in common?

You can find them both in the fields

[FIREWALL]

I got another one, I heard it in Greek, so the translation may not sound funny.

What have potatoes and women drivers in common?

You can find them both in the fields


Your Right :-? Something got lost in the translation. :rotfl:

[Jimbuna]

Race with a Harley

I raced a Harley today and after some really hard riding I managed
to PASS the guy. I was riding on one of those really, really
twisting sections of mountain road with no straight sections to
speak of and where most of the bends have warning signs that
say "MAX SPEED 50 KPH".

I knew if I was going to pass one of those monsters with those
big-cubic-inch motors, it would have to be a place like this where
handling and rider skill are more important than horsepower alone.

I saw the guy up ahead as I exited one of the turns and knew I could
catch him, but it wouldn't be easy. I concentrated on my braking and
cornering. Three corners later, I was on his mudguard. Catching him
was one thing; passing him would prove to be another.

Two corners later, I pulled up next to him as we sailed down the
mountain. I think he was shocked to see me next to him, as I nearly
got by him before he could recover. Next corner, same thing. I'd
manage to pull up next to him as we started to enter the corners but
when we came out he'd get on the throttle and out-power me. His
horsepower was almost too much to overcome, but this only made me
more determined than ever.

My only hope was to out-brake him. I held off squeezing the lever
until the last instant. I kept my nerve while he lost his. In an
instant I was by him. Corner after corner, I could hear the roar of
his engine as he struggled to keep up. Three more miles to go before
the road straightens out and he would pass me for good.

But now I was in the lead and he would no longer hold me back. I
stretched out my lead and by the time we reached the bottom of the
canyon, he was more than a full corner behind. I could no longer see
him in my rear-view mirror.

Once the road did straighten out, it seemed like it took miles
before he passed me, but it was probably just a few hundred yards. I
was no match for that kind of horsepower, but it was done. In the
tightest section of road, where bravery and skill count for more
than horsepower and deep pockets, I had passed him. Though it was
not easy, I had won the race to the bottom of the mountain and I had
preserved the proud tradition of one of the best bits of Brit iron.

I will always remember that moment. I don't think I've ever pedaled
so hard in my life. And, some of the credit must go to Raleigh
cycles, as well. They really make a great bicycle...:p

[mcf1]

These are supposed to be true stories

-A chauffeur worked for a woman who took her cat with her on rides.

During one trip, the driver droped her at a mall before he gasing up. The cat remained in the car, laying down on the top of the limousine's back seat.

The service station's attendant often glanced at unusual passenger. Finally, he asked: "Sir, is that cat someone important?"

-Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a Rochester hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot. The horrified nurse said, 'Why didn't you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?'

The lady said, 'My phone doesn't have an eleven.'

[SUBMAN1]

A Greek and an Irishman were sitting in a Starbuck's cafe one day
discussing who had the superior culture.
Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, 'Well, we Greeks built the
Parthenon,' arching his eyebrows.
The Irishman then replies, 'Well... it was the Irish that discovered the
Summer and Winter Solstices..'
The Greek retorts, 'We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics.'
The Irishman, nodding in agreement, says, 'Irish were the ones who built
the first timepieces and calendars.'
And so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the
discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, 'The Greeks were the ones
who invented sex!'

The Irishman replies, 'Indeed, that is true, but it was we Irish who
introduced it to women.'

[Sailor Steve]

I got another one, I heard it in Greek, so the translation may not sound funny.

What have potatoes and women drivers in common?

You can find them both in the fields


Your Right :-? Something got lost in the translation. :rotfl:
I understood it just fine. Of course statistically women are actually better drivers than me.

[Jimbuna]

A Greek and an Irishman were sitting in a Starbuck's cafe one day
discussing who had the superior culture.
Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, 'Well, we Greeks built the
Parthenon,' arching his eyebrows.
The Irishman then replies, 'Well... it was the Irish that discovered the
Summer and Winter Solstices..'
The Greek retorts, 'We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics.'
The Irishman, nodding in agreement, says, 'Irish were the ones who built
the first timepieces and calendars.'
And so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the
discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, 'The Greeks were the ones
who invented sex!'

The Irishman replies, 'Indeed, that is true, but it was we Irish who
introduced it to women.'

LMAO :rotfl:

[mcf1]

A Greek and an Irishman were sitting in a Starbuck's cafe one day
discussing who had the superior culture.
Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, 'Well, we Greeks built the
Parthenon,' arching his eyebrows.
The Irishman then replies, 'Well... it was the Irish that discovered the
Summer and Winter Solstices..'
The Greek retorts, 'We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics.'
The Irishman, nodding in agreement, says, 'Irish were the ones who built
the first timepieces and calendars.'
And so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the
discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, 'The Greeks were the ones
who invented sex!'

The Irishman replies, 'Indeed, that is true, but it was we Irish who
introduced it to women.'
:lol:

[d@rk51d3]

I got another one, I heard it in Greek, so the translation may not sound funny.

What have potatoes and women drivers in common?

You can find them both in the fields

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

I like it.

[mcf1]

A translated version of a joke, I read in Greek

A Greek was eating his dinner in a restaurant, when a foreign tourist chewing a gum comes in and sits next to him, the Greek ignored him and the tourist disappointed started this convertation:
Tourist: You Greeks, eat the whole bread?
Greek: Of course
Tourist: We don't, we eat only the inside, the outside we recycle it to a Croissant and sell
it to you Greeks
(the Greek still ignores him)

Tourist: You Greeks eat jelly?
Greek: Yes
Tourist: We don't, we eat fresh fruit and the remains of them, we recycle to jelly and
sell it to you.

And this time the Greek asks him.
Greek: What do you do with condoms after you used them?
Tourist: We throw them away of course.
Greek: We don't, we recycle them into chewing gums and sell them to you

[Sailor Steve]

Oooh, low blow!:rotfl:

[Sailor Steve]

Something just posted on another thread reminded me of this old gem:

Guy is walking along the beach in California when he sees something shining in the sand. He picks it up and finds out it's an old-fashioned oil lamp. When he tries to rub the sand off it starts to glow, and then a genie pops out. The genie thanks him for releasing him from the lamp, and offers to grant him a wish.

"I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but never could afford it. I'd like a bridge from here to there so I can drive anytime I want to."

"A bridge all the way to Hawaii? You have got to be kidding! Do you realize how much engineering that would take? There's no way I'm doing that! Think of something else."

The man thinks for a minute and says "I want to understand women."

The genie stares at him for a minute and then says "How many lanes do you want on that bridge?"

[Jimbuna]

On a farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.

One day, the two were playing when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.

Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm.

Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.

Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him.

After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: best buddies, best pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his d*ck and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story? (Yes, there's a moral): "When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Harley to pick up chicks

[mcf1]

:rotfl: :rotfl: to Sailor Steve and jimbuna :rotfl: :rotfl:
Here's one

A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.

The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink--he could not be served additional liquor at this bar but could get a cab called for him.

The drunk is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out the front door.

A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the side door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over, and still politely--but more firmly refuses service to the man due to his inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a cab for him.

The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.

A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits, and belligerently orders a drink.

The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will be called immediately.

The surprised drunk looks at the bartender and in hopeless anguish, cries "Man! How many bars do you work at?"

[Jimbuna]

Q: Why are Harley's some of the safest bikes on the road?
A: You can't go fast enough to hurt yourself....


These two trailer-trash women were talking to each other, and one asked "How is your husband doing?" and the other said "I think he is dead." So the first one asked "What do you mean. . . you think?" so the second replied "Well, the sex is the same but he hasn't worked on the Harley in over a week!"


Q-What is the most common accessory for Harleys'?
A- A pick-up truck.

[Schroeder]

A man does a vacation with his entire family to Israel to see the places where Jesus lived.
While being there his mother in law dies so he contacts a local undertaker.
The undertaker offers him two ways to bury his mother in law. Either send her back home for 10,000$ or bury her right in Israel for just 500$.
The man thinks for a minute and then he says to the undertaker that he should send her back home.
The undertaker asks whether he is sure about that because of the high costs.
The man replies: "Hey, 2000 years ago there was a man buried here who stood up and walked away three days later. I'm not going to take any chances!"

[Jimbuna]

A Harley rider is riding down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the comer of his eye..It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES

He thinks it was a figment of his imagination and rides on without a second thought...Soon he sees another sign, which says:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES
GAS STOP 5 MILES

Suddenly, he realizes that these signs are for real...Then he rides past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST.FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT

His instinct gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive....On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He locks his bike, climbs the steps and rings the bell....The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you, my son?"....
He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."....
"Very well, my son. Please follow me," ....
He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented....The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door"....
He does as he is told and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door.....This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway"....
He gets $100 out of his wallet and places it in the second nuns cup...He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him.....As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign:
GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED
BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER.
THE NEXT GAS STOP IS 10 MILES
THE OTHER WAY.

[mcf1]

:rotfl: :rotfl: to Schroeder and jimbuna

[Sailor Steve]

Well, Jim, those are some good ones, but the 'horse and chicken' joke made me clean my keyboard for the second time in as many days.

[Jimbuna]

Albert Einstein arrives at a dinner party. He introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What's your IQ?"
The man answers, "241."

"That is wonderful!" says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss!"

Next, Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What's your IQ?"
The lady answers, "144."
"That is great!" responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!"

Albert goes to another person and asks, "What's your IQ?"
The man answers, "51."

Albert's face lights up as he exclaims, "So you're the one who rides the Harley parked out front!"

[mcf1]

:rotfl:

Q: Why do harley riders never ride faster than 50mph???
A: Any faster and they can't see where the parts fell off.

Q: Why do harley riders chrome all their parts???
A: It makes them easier to spot on the side of the road

[Jimbuna]

Q: A Harley owner and a NASCAR fan get in a fight, who wins?A: We all do!

Q: What's the happiest day in a Harley rider's life?
A: When they discover that they can use Right Guard(tm) under their left arm.

Q: What do you have when you put 10,000 Harley Davidson motorcycles on the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.

Q. Where do you put money to hide it from a harley rider?
A. In the bathroom...under the soap.

Did you hear about the HD owner who put Odor Eaters(tm) in his new riding boots?
Two days later, he disappeared.

[Sailor Steve]

:rotfl:

Q: Why do harley riders never ride faster than 50mph???
A: Any faster and they can't see where the parts fell off.

Q: Why do harley riders chrome all their parts???
A: It makes them easier to spot on the side of the road
Those remind me of one I heard back in the '70s:

Q: What's the best way to get a Harley?
A: Follow one.

[mcf1]

A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter explains that its not so easy to get in heaven. There are some criteria before entry is allowed.

For example, was the man religious in life? Attend church? No? St. Peter told him that's bad.

Was he generous? give money to the poor? Charities? No? St. Peter told him that that too was bad.

Did he do any good deeds? Help his neighbor? Anything? No? St. Peter was becoming concerned.

Exasperated, Peter says, "Look, everybody does something nice sometime. Work with me, I'm trying to help. Now think!"

The man says, "There was this old lady. I came out of a store and found her surrounded by a dozen Hell's Angels. They had taken her purse and were shoving her around, taunting and abusing her.

I got so mad I threw my bags down, fought through the crowd, and got her purse back. I then helped her to her feet. I then went up to the biggest, baddest biker and told him how despicable, cowardly and mean he was and then spat in his face".

"Wow", said Peter, "That's impressive. When did this happen"?

"Oh, about 10 minutes ago", replied the man.

[Tango589]

*mcf1*:rotfl:

An old prospector walks his tired old mule into a western town one day;

He'd been out in the desert for about six months without a drop of whiskey.

He walked up to the first saloon he came to and tied his old mule to the
hitch rail. As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and
clothes, a young gunslinger walked out of the saloon with a gun in one hand
and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old
man, have you ever danced?"

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance. I just never wanted to."

A crowd had gathered by then and the gunslinger said, "Well, you old fool,
you're gonna' dance now," and started shooting at the old
man's feet. The
old prospector was hopping around and everybody was laughing.

When the gunslinger fired his last bullet, he holstered his gun and turned
around to go back into the saloon.

The old man reached up on the mule, drew his shotgun, and pulled both
hammers back making a double clicking sound.

The gunslinger heard the sound and everything got quiet. The crowd watched
as the gunslinger slowly turned around looking down both barrels of the
shotgun.

The old man asked, "Did you ever kiss a mule's butt?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No. But I've always wanted
to."

The lessons from this story are:

1. Don't waste ammunition.
2. Don't mess with old people.

[Jimbuna]

Want to see what it would be like to ride a Harley Davidson? Click HERE (http://www.valkyrieriders.com/harley/home.htm) to find out!

[Tango589]

I used to have a car like that!:doh:

[mcf1]

Alliens
Survival guide :lol:
http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-us&vid=89e97c8b-ceac-4f53-b9b3-6afdb063e0ee&playlist=videoByUuids:uuids:088ce70c-2b1d-421a-8df4-59f981c7a26e%2C37203a11-16d9-40b9-a0b1-a372b4185500&from=MSNHP&tab=m1189615355936&GT1=42003
a video about how to survive an allien invasion
(sorry about the commercial at the begining)

[Jimbuna]

Ten MORE Reasons Why Harley Owners Won't Wave At Other Bikers



Afraid it will invalidate warranty.
Leather and studs make it too hard to raise arm.
Refuses to wave to anyone whose bike is already paid for.
Afraid to let go of handlebars because they might vibrate off.
Rushing wind would blow scabs off the new tattoos.
Angry because just took out second mortgage to pay luxury tax on new Harley.
Just discovered the fine print in owner's manual and realized H-D is partially owned by those rice-burner manufacturers.
Can't tell if other riders are waving or just reaching to cover their ears like everyone else.
Remembers the last time a Harley rider waved back, he impaled his hand on spiked helmet.
They're jealous that after spending $30,000,they still don't own a BMW K1200 LT

[FIREWALL]

Ten MORE Reasons Why Harley Owners Won't Wave At Other Bikers




Afraid it will invalidate warranty.
Leather and studs make it too hard to raise arm.
Refuses to wave to anyone whose bike is already paid for.
Afraid to let go of handlebars because they might vibrate off.
Rushing wind would blow scabs off the new tattoos.
Angry because just took out second mortgage to pay luxury tax on new Harley.
Just discovered the fine print in owner's manual and realized H-D is partially owned by those rice-burner manufacturers.
Can't tell if other riders are waving or just reaching to cover their ears like everyone else.
Remembers the last time a Harley rider waved back, he impaled his hand on spiked helmet.
They're jealous that after spending $30,000,they still don't own a BMW K1200 LT Oh Jim ! Your such a poet and a dreamer. :rotfl:

[Jimbuna]

Ten MORE Reasons Why Harley Owners Won't Wave At Other Bikers





Afraid it will invalidate warranty.
Leather and studs make it too hard to raise arm.
Refuses to wave to anyone whose bike is already paid for.
Afraid to let go of handlebars because they might vibrate off.
Rushing wind would blow scabs off the new tattoos.
Angry because just took out second mortgage to pay luxury tax on new Harley.
Just discovered the fine print in owner's manual and realized H-D is partially owned by those rice-burner manufacturers.
Can't tell if other riders are waving or just reaching to cover their ears like everyone else.
Remembers the last time a Harley rider waved back, he impaled his hand on spiked helmet.
They're jealous that after spending $30,000,they still don't own a BMW K1200 LT Oh Jim ! Your such a poet and a dreamer. :rotfl:

....and a good friend of mine bought a Harley mid last year :lol:

[FIREWALL]

Ten MORE Reasons Why Harley Owners Won't Wave At Other Bikers






Afraid it will invalidate warranty.
Leather and studs make it too hard to raise arm.
Refuses to wave to anyone whose bike is already paid for.
Afraid to let go of handlebars because they might vibrate off.
Rushing wind would blow scabs off the new tattoos.
Angry because just took out second mortgage to pay luxury tax on new Harley.
Just discovered the fine print in owner's manual and realized H-D is partially owned by those rice-burner manufacturers.
Can't tell if other riders are waving or just reaching to cover their ears like everyone else.
Remembers the last time a Harley rider waved back, he impaled his hand on spiked helmet.
They're jealous that after spending $30,000,they still don't own a BMW K1200 LT Oh Jim ! Your such a poet and a dreamer. :rotfl:

....and a good friend of mine bought a Harley mid last year :lol:

And you always have a friend here, who owns 2 HD's:D

I sure would like to see you at the SS Convention. :yep:

We would be the first in SS history to get Brigged for drunk on duty.:rotfl:

Just think, We would almost be Immortal in the next SS Almanac.:p

[Morts]

Something just posted on another thread reminded me of this old gem:

Guy is walking along the beach in California when he sees something shining in the sand. He picks it up and finds out it's an old-fashioned oil lamp. When he tries to rub the sand off it starts to glow, and then a genie pops out. The genie thanks him for releasing him from the lamp, and offers to grant him a wish.

"I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but never could afford it. I'd like a bridge from here to there so I can drive anytime I want to."

"A bridge all the way to Hawaii? You have got to be kidding! Do you realize how much engineering that would take? There's no way I'm doing that! Think of something else."

The man thinks for a minute and says "I want to understand women."

The genie stares at him for a minute and then says "How many lanes do you want on that bridge?"
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[Jimbuna]

Ten MORE Reasons Why Harley Owners Won't Wave At Other Bikers







Afraid it will invalidate warranty.
Leather and studs make it too hard to raise arm.
Refuses to wave to anyone whose bike is already paid for.
Afraid to let go of handlebars because they might vibrate off.
Rushing wind would blow scabs off the new tattoos.
Angry because just took out second mortgage to pay luxury tax on new Harley.
Just discovered the fine print in owner's manual and realized H-D is partially owned by those rice-burner manufacturers.
Can't tell if other riders are waving or just reaching to cover their ears like everyone else.
Remembers the last time a Harley rider waved back, he impaled his hand on spiked helmet.
They're jealous that after spending $30,000,they still don't own a BMW K1200 LT Oh Jim ! Your such a poet and a dreamer. :rotfl:

....and a good friend of mine bought a Harley mid last year :lol:

And you always have a friend here, who owns 2 HD's:D

I sure would like to see you at the SS Convention. :yep:

We would be the first in SS history to get Brigged for drunk on duty.:rotfl:

Just think, We would almost be Immortal in the next SS Almanac.:p

LMAO :rotfl:

:()1:

[mcf1]

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"

To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."