Brag
07-14-08, 12:46 PM
Lt. Kalb writes:
U-123
20 July 1940.
After the drama in Narvik, we returned to Willi where Balz demanded command of a type IXB. He says the acoustics are much better in this type and the choir may be larger.
After a short shakedown cruise and lots of choir practice we left Willi with a load of electric torpedoes.
"We are going to find that Nelson and get our revenge," Balz signalled as we sailed past the Tirpitz.
How we were going to find the Nelson was anyone's guess. Was Churchill luring Balz into another trap?
After completing our patrol orders, Balz said, "Now we go hunting for the Nelson."
We headed south to BE36 and the Choir practiced The Nelson Sinking hoochie-woochie.
In good humour, Balz wore a different tea cozy each day. He has a bunny tea cozy, a cat and the one with Mickie Mouse ears. He even let Bernard stand unsupervised bridge watch.
We reached our hunting grounds in perfectly calm weather.
"Herr Kaleun, I have something to report," Bernard yelled from the bridge. "In the middle of an empty sea with wavelts sparkling in the morning sunshine under a cloudless sky, I see a ship."
Balz grimmaced as if drinking bitter coffee. "Break out the boom-booms for the deck gun."
A minute later our boat shook as the deck gun fired.
"Bernaaaaaaaaaaaaard, you imbecile. Cease fire." Balz selected a chicken tea cozy and rushed up the tower.
"We got a hit, Look at the flames."
"Bernard, you idiot. You look into the small lenses of the binoculars with the big one's toward your target. Tell me what nationality is that ship you have so cleverly hit?"
"Nationality?"
"That's an American ship. See the red stripes on that flag?"
"Oh, I thought their barber shop was open."
"Let's get out of this war crime scene."
We quickly left the area .
By afternoon clouds obscured the sky, a south wind rose and it began to rain. We were having Eisbein und Salzkartoffeln for dinner when Funker handed Balz a message. After a minute poring over a chart, Balz said, "Convoy, twenty six kilometers from us, and we have this sheisse weather."
"We can go into that convoy and I can say wasserbomben," Bernard said.
Balz snapped a cat tea cozy over Bernard's head. "We will follow that convoy and wait for the weather to improve. Full speed ahead, new heading two four zero."
Two hours later, we submerged and listened to the convoy passing about two thousand meters in front of us. It was huge and the chugging indicated large ships. We followed on the surface at eight knots. It was as dark as Bernards future and raining hard. We submerged every hour to listen.
At midnight, the convoy changed course to West. The rain abated and wind died.
"Ship sighted."
Balz ordered a fifteen degree course change and full speed ahead.
I looked at the tanker heading East. It must have gone right through the convoy. A sound check confirmed the convoy was hardly moving. Within thirty minutes we were ahead of it, dived to periscope depth and went to battle stations.
Balz was doing a periscope check when rapid pinginging struck U-123.
"Ahead flank, down scope."
We could hear the destroyers' engines as it rushed toward us. We've been caught with our pants down.
"Wasserbomben," the sound man announced.
The bombs exploded near enough to give us a shaking.
We went down to thirty meters and kept quiet. The destroyer lost us.
The convoy rumbled overhead and we rose to periscope depth.
"Drei mal Sheisse," Balz muttered. "We're facing the wrong way and there is the Nelson. Flood tube five. One torpedo, one battleship hoochie-woochie. Choir, hum the Balz is Magnificent song."
Balz went back to peering into the eye-piece. "Funf, loss!"
"Can I say Wasserbomben?" Bernard asked.
"You just did." Balz whacked Bernard with his chicken tea cozy.
The magnetic torpedo set for twelve meters blew up near the stern. Screw noises from the battleship stopped.
"Einz, zwei, hoochie woochie. We stopped the steely ship salvaged by sweaty shipyard scavengers with a single shot."
At day break, we rose to periscope depth. It took three torpedoes to finish the job.
U-123
20 July 1940.
After the drama in Narvik, we returned to Willi where Balz demanded command of a type IXB. He says the acoustics are much better in this type and the choir may be larger.
After a short shakedown cruise and lots of choir practice we left Willi with a load of electric torpedoes.
"We are going to find that Nelson and get our revenge," Balz signalled as we sailed past the Tirpitz.
How we were going to find the Nelson was anyone's guess. Was Churchill luring Balz into another trap?
After completing our patrol orders, Balz said, "Now we go hunting for the Nelson."
We headed south to BE36 and the Choir practiced The Nelson Sinking hoochie-woochie.
In good humour, Balz wore a different tea cozy each day. He has a bunny tea cozy, a cat and the one with Mickie Mouse ears. He even let Bernard stand unsupervised bridge watch.
We reached our hunting grounds in perfectly calm weather.
"Herr Kaleun, I have something to report," Bernard yelled from the bridge. "In the middle of an empty sea with wavelts sparkling in the morning sunshine under a cloudless sky, I see a ship."
Balz grimmaced as if drinking bitter coffee. "Break out the boom-booms for the deck gun."
A minute later our boat shook as the deck gun fired.
"Bernaaaaaaaaaaaaard, you imbecile. Cease fire." Balz selected a chicken tea cozy and rushed up the tower.
"We got a hit, Look at the flames."
"Bernard, you idiot. You look into the small lenses of the binoculars with the big one's toward your target. Tell me what nationality is that ship you have so cleverly hit?"
"Nationality?"
"That's an American ship. See the red stripes on that flag?"
"Oh, I thought their barber shop was open."
"Let's get out of this war crime scene."
We quickly left the area .
By afternoon clouds obscured the sky, a south wind rose and it began to rain. We were having Eisbein und Salzkartoffeln for dinner when Funker handed Balz a message. After a minute poring over a chart, Balz said, "Convoy, twenty six kilometers from us, and we have this sheisse weather."
"We can go into that convoy and I can say wasserbomben," Bernard said.
Balz snapped a cat tea cozy over Bernard's head. "We will follow that convoy and wait for the weather to improve. Full speed ahead, new heading two four zero."
Two hours later, we submerged and listened to the convoy passing about two thousand meters in front of us. It was huge and the chugging indicated large ships. We followed on the surface at eight knots. It was as dark as Bernards future and raining hard. We submerged every hour to listen.
At midnight, the convoy changed course to West. The rain abated and wind died.
"Ship sighted."
Balz ordered a fifteen degree course change and full speed ahead.
I looked at the tanker heading East. It must have gone right through the convoy. A sound check confirmed the convoy was hardly moving. Within thirty minutes we were ahead of it, dived to periscope depth and went to battle stations.
Balz was doing a periscope check when rapid pinginging struck U-123.
"Ahead flank, down scope."
We could hear the destroyers' engines as it rushed toward us. We've been caught with our pants down.
"Wasserbomben," the sound man announced.
The bombs exploded near enough to give us a shaking.
We went down to thirty meters and kept quiet. The destroyer lost us.
The convoy rumbled overhead and we rose to periscope depth.
"Drei mal Sheisse," Balz muttered. "We're facing the wrong way and there is the Nelson. Flood tube five. One torpedo, one battleship hoochie-woochie. Choir, hum the Balz is Magnificent song."
Balz went back to peering into the eye-piece. "Funf, loss!"
"Can I say Wasserbomben?" Bernard asked.
"You just did." Balz whacked Bernard with his chicken tea cozy.
The magnetic torpedo set for twelve meters blew up near the stern. Screw noises from the battleship stopped.
"Einz, zwei, hoochie woochie. We stopped the steely ship salvaged by sweaty shipyard scavengers with a single shot."
At day break, we rose to periscope depth. It took three torpedoes to finish the job.