View Full Version : Bunny Logic (Balz)
Lt. Otto Kalb writes:
U-45
26 October 1939
We've been operating in and around AN13 mainly listening to British destroyers going up and down the coast. Nevertheless we had logged 40,000 BRT despite several dud torpedoes and had 3 eels left.
Balz sat in the officers' mess embroidering bunnies on his pillowcase. Bernard stood watching him for several minutes. "What are you doing, Herr Kaleun?"
"I'm busy embroidering bunnies."
"That's not a very dramatic thing for a Kaleun to do," Bernard said.
"I will show you drama when I beat you over the head. This is logic. Do you understand logic?"
"On yes, I'm very logical. I always test buttons and levers and valves to see if they work."
"Place your hands inside your pockets and keep them there."
"Jawhol, her Kaleun. But I don't understand your bunny logic."
"Hear those destroyers going up and down and around us?"
Bernard Nodded.
"And what do you think they are doing?"
"They are trying to find us."
"Good lad. They won't find us. See the logic?"
"No, Herr Kaleun."
"They are looking for blood thirsty Huns and evil submarine commanders. By embroidering bunnies, I fool them. And if they find us, how would an Englander look if he reported sinking a U-Boat furnished with bunny pillowcases? He'd be laughed right out of the RN."
Balz finished his embroidering and called out the choir to practice the Bunnies Rule The Waves Hoochi-Woochie.
sunvalleyslim
05-21-08, 06:14 PM
are they pink bunnies, and does Herr Kaleun also have bunny slippers to silently walk about his beloved boat?
the.terrabyte.pirate
05-21-08, 06:15 PM
Yup, can't argue with that logic...
... only how would the RN know that the U-boat they had sunk had bunny pillowcases?...
Sailor Steve
05-21-08, 06:48 PM
I'm really starting to feel sorry for poor Kalb. He suffered under Balz for years, and finally escaped to his own command.
And now he discovers it's GROUNDHOG DAY!!!:rotfl:
are they pink bunnies, and does Herr Kaleun also have bunny slippers to silently walk about his beloved boat?
Slim, you're getting ahead of the story ;) :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Frank0001
05-22-08, 01:29 PM
Hahaha great one, Balz is back! My life has a purpose again :rotfl:
msalama
05-22-08, 01:41 PM
ROTFL
With my crew, it's pink elephants. What a bunch of winos the lot. A small wonder we ever hit anything :88)
Jimbuna
05-23-08, 05:42 AM
Must look for an image fitting the occasion http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/1817/thinkbigsw1yo4.gif
Maybe a grannie with plastic knitting needles?
;)
msalama
05-23-08, 11:00 AM
Yah. That would be me.
:lol:
Jimbuna
05-23-08, 03:24 PM
http://toolbar.cafemom.com/icons/knitting.gif
http://www.scale-models.co.uk/images/smilies/knitting.gif
The Smilies King strikes again :huh: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
msalama
05-23-08, 05:16 PM
Well, that's a big "AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH" to you guys. Let's still remember, though, that I never uttered a word. :hmm:
rifleman13
05-27-08, 03:24 AM
are they pink bunnies, and does Herr Kaleun also have bunny slippers to silently walk about his beloved boat?
Maybe the Kaleun is a Fraulein?:rotfl::huh:
Bismarck
05-27-08, 10:12 AM
"U-Boat at 230" yelled the breathless Watch Officer into the telephone to the Duty Offiver, The second officer went over to the listening tube nearby "U-Boat 230, 8 knots." Deep inside the heart of the Black Swan a group of men were typing in solutions, directing models and working out the best way to sink ships. Lieutenant Davis charged over and shouted into the receiver "All guns commence rapid fire on target. 230. I repeat 230."
A few minutes later one of the shells struck home and the haunting sight of a grey wolve surfaced into the view of the terrified crew.
"CEASE FIRE" ordered the DO. The Captain walked over to the binoculars pushed aside and gazed at the incredible sight.
52 men were climbing out of the conning tower and stood in uniform ranks on the bow of the submarine -the last man was obviously the captain as he had the look of an old seadog.
"Ach mein Komrads commence ze Hoochie-Woochie!" commanded the German Commander
The men began to sing.
"Ze fluffy fluffy bunnies zey vill hop azong all day"
"Halt"! yelled the Commander, he paced up and down the deck. "Zis time you will keep in time or you'll be put on barnacle duty"
Once again the men started the chorus, 51 immaculatly ironed pink cardigans were passed down and 51 purple bowler hats with canes were worn and held.
The Commander tore of his shirt to reveal a bubblegum pink jacket with a huge embroided rabbit on it.
Meanwhile back on the DD terror reigned.
"Retreat at all costs" ordered the Captain who was exiting the cabinhouse. Gun crews were panicking, marines were crying and there were brown stains upon many a sailors trousers. The DD ran but it was too late.
"Bernard, i order you to solo" roared the U-Boat commander.
An hour later the DD was lost from sight.
"It appears that Balz was right" mused the Kaleun, "Full speed ahead, ve must completed our patrol"
"U-Boat at 230" yelled the breathless Watch Officer into the telephone to the Duty Offiver, The second officer went over to the listening tube nearby "U-Boat 230, 8 knots." Deep inside the heart of the Black Swan a group of men were typing in solutions, directing models and working out the best way to sink ships. Lieutenant Davis charged over and shouted into the receiver "All guns commence rapid fire on target. 230. I repeat 230."
A few minutes later one of the shells struck home and the haunting sight of a grey wolve surfaced into the view of the terrified crew.
"CEASE FIRE" ordered the DO. The Captain walked over to the binoculars pushed aside and gazed at the incredible sight.
52 men were climbing out of the conning tower and stood in uniform ranks on the bow of the submarine -the last man was obviously the captain as he had the look of an old seadog.
"Ach mein Komrads commence ze Hoochie-Woochie!" commanded the German Commander
The men began to sing.
"Ze fluffy fluffy bunnies zey vill hop azong all day"
"Halt"! yelled the Commander, he paced up and down the deck. "Zis time you will keep in time or you'll be put on barnacle duty"
Once again the men started the chorus, 51 immaculatly ironed pink cardigans were passed down and 51 purple bowler hats with canes were worn and held.
The Commander tore of his shirt to reveal a bubblegum pink jacket with a huge embroided rabbit on it.
Meanwhile back on the DD terror reigned.
"Retreat at all costs" ordered the Captain who was exiting the cabinhouse. Gun crews were panicking, marines were crying and there were brown stains upon many a sailors trousers. The DD ran but it was too late.
"Bernard, i order you to solo" roared the U-Boat commander.
An hour later the DD was lost from sight.
"It appears that Balz was right" mused the Kaleun, "Full speed ahead, ve must completed our patrol"
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
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