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Brag
03-07-08, 03:45 PM
Of.z.S. Hegeman writes:

Racing through fog in the proximity of a heavily escorted convoy is not my favorite pastime. Balz ordered a course paralleling the convoy and keeping a twenty-kilometer distance. In the dark, we could not see a thing.

The atmosphere in the Zentralle was tense. Balz finished smoking a cigarette. "Bernard, report to my August presence immediately."
"Jawohl, Herr Kaleun," Bernard came from the rear crew compartment and stood at attention.
"In this moment of great peril for our boot, I have found the perfect job for you."
Bernard's facial expression changed from apprehension to an eager smile. "Ja, Herr Kaleun, zu befelen."
Balz removed the tea cozy from his head and placed it on the chart table. "You will learn Spanish."
"You will send me on a secret mission?"
"No, you will massage my ego and express admiration to my ability to spread terror and destruction on our enemy--in Spanish. Repeat after me: Caramba! Su idea es admirable."

It took a half-hour of repetition until Bernard got the Caramba! Su idea es admirable. When Balz dismissed him, Bernard picked up Balz's tea cozy and headed for the galley.
"Bernaaaard, what are you doing with that tea cozy?"
"I'm going to make some coffee."
"You're not going to use it as a filter. Put it back on the table."
"Caramba! Su idea es admirable," Bernard answered and returned the tea cozy.
"Now, we will dive and listen to the soft murmur of distant screws."
"Caramba! Su idea es admirable."
"Put more heart into what you say, Bernard. And assume an adoring facial expression when you say it." Balz donned his tea cozy. "Chief, take her down to thirty meters."

After messing about with the hydrophone for fifteen minutes, Balz ordered the choir to assemble in the Zentralle. "Sing The Enemy Will Lose Some Screws Tonight Hoochie-woochie."

By midnight we were in the middle of the convoy.
Looking through the periscope, Balz said, Right behind this small freighter there is a larger ship."
The sound operator kept updating the bearing Balz said was a whale factory ship.
"Sheisse," Balz said and ran the periscope down. A few seconds later the U-104 rolled as a ship scraped our conning tower.
"Caramba! Su idea es admirable." Bernard said.
Balz took his tea cozy into his hand and slapped Bernard's head with it.
"Target bearing three five five,"the soundman reported.
"Tubes two and three, fire!"
Bernard, who was at the TDC station, pressed the button.
Nothing happened
"Open tube doors," the chief yelled.
The fish went out while Balz clutched his head.
"Caramba! Su idea es admirable."
One torpedo hit, the other missed.
"You imbecile," Balz yelled at Bernard. "Because of you, I only got one hit."
"That's good, Herr Kaleun," Bernard answered. You always say one ship one torpedo."
********************
:D
That's it for tonigh.
Read Neal's Review on Kingmaker http://www.amazon.com/dp/0980073340/ (http://www.amazon.com/dp/0980073340/)

Now you can go to the subsim store and order the book. :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Blacklight
03-07-08, 04:39 PM
:D I wonder if Balz has gotten his copy of Kingmaker yet. :D

Brag
03-07-08, 05:29 PM
:D I wonder if Balz has gotten his copy of Kingmaker yet. :D

:ping: Tomorrow: Inside the writing cave: Balz Spills The Beans. A shocking exposee of Kingmaker and its author.

Sailor Steve
03-07-08, 06:14 PM
"That's good, Herr Kaleun," Bernard answered. You always say one ship one torpedo."
Don't you hate it when he's right?:rotfl:

Laufen zum Ziel
03-07-08, 08:14 PM
You better hope it's not better then Kingmaker. It would be a shame for him to knock you off #1.

http://silent-hunter-addict.com

papa_smurf
03-08-08, 05:41 AM
So it seems that Beranrd has some new skills now:hmm: . I wonder if this wil affect his ususal performance or not............

msalama
03-08-08, 05:43 AM
"soft murmur of distant screws"

LoL

Brag
03-09-08, 07:33 AM
"soft murmur of distant screws"

LoL

Like the song of the sea. we just lack poetic torpedoes. :cool:

NealT
03-09-08, 12:36 PM
I always wondered why they bothered developing acoustic torpedos...now I know...to follow the soft murmur of the distant screws...

sunvalleyslim
03-09-08, 05:20 PM
I had a distant screw once or twice, and I think it was in Japan, Taiwan, Hong Kong, or maybe the Phillipines..........:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Sailor Steve
03-09-08, 09:15 PM
I don't believe you. If it had really happened you'd have been too drunk to remember.:rotfl:

sunvalleyslim
03-10-08, 07:09 PM
AHHH YOU SO SMART SAILOR STEVE, I think you were once a butterfly boy in Subic Bay........(only those who have been there know what a butterfly boy is.) Hense the butterfly knife........and NO it's not a gay term........

CapZap1970
03-10-08, 07:45 PM
Brag:
One of these days i will pass out with one of your stories... :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
CapZap

Sailor Steve
03-10-08, 08:27 PM
AHHH YOU SO SMART SAILOR STEVE, I think you were once a butterfly boy in Subic Bay........(only those who have been there know what a butterfly boy is.) Hense the butterfly knife........and NO it's not a gay term........
I never touched one until long after I left the service; but in fact I can flip-flop a double-edge without hurting myself...or at least I used to.:sunny:

Brag
03-11-08, 07:51 AM
I had a distant screw once or twice, and I think it was in Japan, Taiwan, Hong Kong, or maybe the Phillipines..........:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Aha! Subic, Olangapo, bamboo stick dance. Hehehe. :rock: :rock:

Brag
03-11-08, 07:52 AM
Brag:
One of these days i will pass out with one of your stories... :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
CapZap

We're bad, arent we? :sunny:

Brag
03-11-08, 07:54 AM
AHHH YOU SO SMART SAILOR STEVE, I think you were once a butterfly boy in Subic Bay........(only those who have been there know what a butterfly boy is.) Hense the butterfly knife........and NO it's not a gay term........
I never touched one until long after I left the service; but in fact I can flip-flop a double-edge without hurting myself...or at least I used to.:sunny:

Clack, clack, clack. :up: