Brag
02-27-08, 05:12 PM
> 1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water
> down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
>
> 2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to
> hold while you chop.
>
> 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using
> the sink.
>
> 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a
> few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a
> timer.
>
> 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
> rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
>
> 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will
> be afraid to cough.
>
> 7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't
> move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the
> duct tape.
>
> 8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
>
>
> Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR
> ANYTHING..... BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE DRAIN.
> down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
>
> 2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to
> hold while you chop.
>
> 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using
> the sink.
>
> 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a
> few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a
> timer.
>
> 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
> rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
>
> 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will
> be afraid to cough.
>
> 7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't
> move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the
> duct tape.
>
> 8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
>
>
> Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR
> ANYTHING..... BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE DRAIN.