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View Full Version : Micromanagement (Balz)


Brag
01-19-08, 08:36 PM
Lt. Otto Balz writes:

18 July 1940
Despite all the organizational problems our forces had in establishing an efficient occupation in Brest, U-52 was repaired and we were almost ready to sail when Kptlt. Balz returned from Berlin with a tea cozy emblazoned with a large swastika given to him by Hitler.

Balz was in good humour when he called for Bernard.
"Jawhol, Herr Kaleun," Bernard clicked his heels and saluted.
"I have a very important new job for you," Balz said in an affable manner.
"Zu befelen, Herr Kaleun."
"You will notice we have a microscope installed in the galley. That's your new battle station."
Balz lit a cigar and patted the new tea cozy laying on the table. "So, when I order battle stations, where do you go?"
"Straight for the periscope, Herr Kaleun."
"Not the periscope--the microscope."
"Ach, yes, Herr Kaleun."
"Gut, alles klar. Where do you go?
"The periscope, Herr Kaleun."
"You imbecile, I said microscope."
"In Flensburg, they only thaught us about periscopes."
"I'm teaching you about combat. You will use the microscope in the galley. Got it? The galley!"
"Yes, Herr Kaleun, the galley."
"Gut. You will take a spoonful of coffee spread the grounds on a glass slide and with the help of the microscope you will count the grounds. I want exactly 6,458 grounds per spoonfull. Then, we can have a perfect cup of coffee."
"But, don't I get to do hoochie woochie boom-booms?"
Balz smiled. "You were born to micromanage."

Rhodes
01-19-08, 08:48 PM
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Blacklight
01-19-08, 09:07 PM
:rotfl:
You'd better watch out ! Before you know it.. Bernard is going to be counting coffee grounds with the periscope.:rotfl:

Abd_von_Mumit
01-19-08, 10:23 PM
Good one. :yep: Keep on macromanaging the story. :lol:

It can soon and easily be shown that a microscope is a one-time-use device. One can't even be sure that it never explodes or flies. :)