Funny Stories Thread

[Stealth Hunter]

Most of us have been playing SH3 since it was first released, and with so many mods out today and almost 3 years later, we've all come across a time in the game that's made us snicker of roll on the floor with laughter. Henceforth, I'm making this thread to share those stories in. Post screenshots if you want, I don't care. Just make sure that it was funny...:stare:


This one comes from 35 minutes ago when I was playing a career.

I was moving along through the English Channel when I spotted a group of destroyers and battleships. Needless to say, I was giddy with excitement that such fine prize would be such a short distance away. Anywho, I began attacking the enemy vessels in a VIIC/42, and I sank 2 destroyers right off the bat. I fired the other 2, and those torpedoes hit home at the Nelson battleship ahead of me. However, I had a DD on my ass, and I decided to hide beneath the Nelson.

After maneuvering into position underneath the hulk of the damaged ship, I sat in wait for 2 hours. Suddenly, I got a distrubing message: THE NELSON WAS SINKING. I was directly underneath it, and the ocean was over a thousand meters down from where I was at. My first thought was one of panic. If it sank, I would be trapped underneath it and be taken down to crush depth, assuming that the thing didn't destroy me once it landed on the deck.

I fired up the engines to flank speed, and the Nelson slowly pushed me down deeper and deeper into the sea. I managed to escape with only minor damage at a depth of 200 meters.

[NiclDoe]

I was in Brest in 43 and i was leaving to go somewhere in real life so i saved the game and when i came back i was in habour and then as i ordered 1/3 a flower just comes out of nowhere and rammes the pen just missing me by a few meters.:rotfl: :rotfl:

[Stealth Hunter]

I'd react to that in a "WHAT THE F*beep*?!??!" manner.:rotfl:

[NiclDoe]

I was fecking upset to see that the habour patrol did not seem to notice that he was coming.

[stew278]

During my first patrol in GWX 2.0 I was intercepting a large convoy in BE91 in a type IXB. The convoy had several nice targets including 3 big tankers, ammo ship, and a few ore carriers. I fired all forward tubes and hit 2 of the tankers with 2 torps each from inside the convoy (~600m). I was moving through the convoy at 2kts trying to get into position to use the stern tubes. Unfortunately this route put me right in the path of one of the sinking tankers. I sped up and would have avoided a collision, but just as I was passing in front of the sinking tanker she exploded while my boat was too close. I started getting all kinds of damage reports and my boat flooded in less than a minute.

[NiclDoe]

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: never go close to a tanker expecting it to go down smooth.

[Avatar]

I was once in the middle of a convoy about to attack a large tanker and a whale factory ship. I made a little error in my approach calculation and ran into a small freighter that came across my path. Since my speed was only 2 knots, I sustained no damage but was forced deeper to about 20 m. Quickly I ordered PD and got the two tankers.
I wonder what the engine crew of the small freighter thought, once hearing the loud thud of my Uboat hitting the side of their merchant.:doh:

[papa_smurf]

Never order All Ahead Flank, whilst in port and then leave you computer for a moment. I did this once and crashed into the sea wall!:damn:

[Blacklight]

I can't tell you how many times I've accedentally plowed into my escort while leaving port.

I also once was getting attacked by a DD in a storm. After a while, I heard nothing in my hydrophone and assumed he was gone. I snuck up to periscope depth and went to raise the periscope. It went halfway up when I heard a "KLUNK!" I angle the periscope up and see the bottom of the destroyer sitting right above me pointed the exact same direction as my boat. Just sitting there. Suddeny it sped up and I saw all these drums drop into the water. One bounced off the lens of my periscope and exploded sending me and my crew to a watery grave.:dead:

[Albrecht Von Hesse]

This isn't so much funny, per se, as it is, ummm . . . well. ::shrugs and grins::

It's June, '42, and I'm driving an IXC (not my usual; I like the VIIBs as a rule). I'm off New York, and was trolling for convoys. The weather was clear, unlimited visibility and little wind.

Spotted a biggie; plotted an intercept and was waiting for it to approach. After an hour real-time crawl for them to start getting within 2 klicks --and after easing past the escorts-- I start picking targets and setting torpedoes, when all of a sudden my periscope view starts going wonky: the background starts flickering this odd obscuring white, and targets start flickering in and out of view.

The weather chose, that precise moment, to change from clear to heavy precip and poor visibility. --mutters and sighs--

[KeptinCranky]

want a good laugh?

I got sunk by a Passenger/Cargo :cry:

[NiclDoe]

well hers a more dumber story then that. i was with my friends and i decided to put th tc on max and when i come back the screen shows a tanker ramming my boat.

[Stealth Hunter]

want a good laugh?

I got sunk by a Passenger/Cargo :cry:

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g17/Sgt-Smithy/OWNED/4.jpg

[mcf1]

Here is one.
When i first got the game, i started a career and in my 3rd patrol my crew spotted an aircraft ( i don't remember what aircraft it was, i think it was a catalina) and i ordered crash dive and for some reason i ignored the shallow water warning and i hit the ground at 20m depth and i also got depth charged by the plane:damn: . I only escaped by a miracle and managed to get home with my hull integrity down to 14%
ooooops!!!!

[Brag]

After installing GWX1. Sailing out of Wilhelmshaven, pressed some normal order key (can't remember which) Boat went into crash dive. tried to stop it and boat went into astern emergency. Whatver I wanted to do, boat did something else. Later, found out my game was set for German keyboard. :roll:

[Von Schmidt]

It was late 44 i was operating close to Ireland in with most sucessfull crew, We where together from the outbreak of hostilities until that point, minus a few crew men lost to action. Four Sunderland aircraft come out of the clouds and attack, they are to close for me to dive, so we fight them off. All ahead flank, zig zagging every now and then. I have the twin heavy AA mount and it is doing some damage. Two turn away and start to orbit. My regular flak downs one and the heavy downs the other. The Sunderland does a cart wheel hits water bounces onto my Uboat all hands lost. A tragic loss for Germany, first Prien then Von Schmidt.

[mowgli99]

Sorta funny moment when i was sailing to the small island/port of panatellria or something like that in then mediterrean. I was out of fish after a run in with two convoys and a task force. So i was sailing in at 7 knots and right as i went to bridge and saw the lighthouses we collided with something and were taking severe bow damage. I ordered able hands to repair and ordered back emergency. We wouldnt move. Lost one man in bow torpedo room and another in the crew quarters. It ended up being a sub net but i still never figured out why i couldnt go over it. I hit the quit and return to base button. When i was leaving i went out at 2 knots and hit it again. Luckily i was able to order back full in time and escape.

[Kaleu. Jochen Mohr]

mine ? hmmm... lemme think

oh yea, i was attacking my first convoy when i got attacked by 2 DD's
they both didnt stoped on time and one rammed the other, as reply the other one droped DC's on top of me but the side charges on the other DD wich destroyed its forward guns and eventualy sinking it :lol:

well, i never been able to see it again.. (was stock SH3 though)

[Stealth Hunter]

Stock SH3 ships, children, were not to be noted for their brilliance in sea trials.:D

[mowgli99]

i'm pretty sure there was no mine. I went to external cam and saw the nets with the liitle balls on top. Oh well just never enter a port from the side.

[KeptinCranky]

Oh yes, the subnet at Pantelleria, That sunk me once too when leaving that port, those Italians apparently feel no-one should be able to leave, the best way is to maneuver between the pier and the destroyers...