..to make a Bernard Mod

[Blacklight]

:o As I sit here and stare at your faces looking at this topic in abject horror, I can clearly say that I LOVE Bernard. He is alive and well serving on my Uboat every time we go out and there is never a time when his presence is not felt in some way, shape, or form. :o

I then occured to me.. what if there was a BERNARD MOD !!! How would it be made ? What would it be like ? What would it include ? It would definitey inject humor as well as ":damn: " into the game... and that leads to fun stories !

So.. the first thing one would have to do is use Silent Hunter III commander and turn on "Malfunctions+Sabotage". We then have to go into the Silent Hunter III realism settings and make sure that "Dud torpedoes" is turned on.

So we have the stage set for lunacy.. but I'd like to take it a step farther. I don't know the first thing about modding, but I would say that the first thing I would do is find the text that says "You are dead" when you die and add underneath is "But Bernard somehow managed to survive !"

Another thing we need is a PHYSICAL Bernard on the Uboat who we can see and we need him to be on your Uboat every time you leave port. He can't be eliminated from the Uboat and is always there. He physically should be modeled to look the same each time you play and his voice should be the same each time as well. I'm imagining some interesting skin editing to make him look a little goofy.

Next, we need some audio files and ways to trigger them such as on the "You are dead" screen... you hear someone yell.. "BERNARD !!!!!!" or whenever something on the sub malfunctions... "DAMN IT !!! BERNARD !!!". The number of game audio files for the crew speaking in various events "Bernardified" would add more color to this mod as well.

The final thing I would research into doing (You would probably need an external program for this), would be to occasionally randomise buttons and their functions and then quickly set them back to normal. Example. You have a ship sighted... You have the perfect targeting solution. You click on tube 1 and fire... only to have the aft tube shoot off a torpedo ! "GOD DAMN IT BERNARD !!!!" Or you call for Periscope Depth and completely surface or somesuch. "BERNARD !!!!!!". Say make it a 5% chance that something screwy like this can happen... or if you're really ballsy... make it 10 or 15% !!!

So.. if you were designing "Bernard: The Mod", what would you include ? What kind of Bernard stuff would be possible ?

I for one wish there was a Bernard mod. I would love to sit down and design one (Even though I have a LOT yet to learn about modding SH III).

[Letum]

We alredy have a Bernard Mod.

To activate it:

1) make a clean install of SHIII without any patches.

2) "enjoy"

[TarJak]

The Bernard mod needs to detect the presence of shallow water that is less than 60m deep and instantly crash dive the boat locking all other controls so you can't pull out.:rotfl:

It should also detect the presence of enemy DD's and if on the surface prevent diving and if submerged immediately surface blowing the ballast and making as much noise as possible.

[Blacklight]

We alredy have a Bernard Mod.

To activate it:

1) make a clean install of SHIII without any patches.

2) "enjoy"

:rotfl:
That's a great start !! But I want to take it a few steps further !! :88)

[Dimitrius07]

Blacklight

I may have something for you mate.
Check my mod called Ballad of Bernard that i made not so long ago.... :D

http://files.filefront.com/BALLAD+OF+BERNARDzip/;6359451;/fileinfo.html

Short story - (I hope i have a good memory)

A member (now he is a moderator) Seth (there is mistake in the readme i wrote Sith instead).

He post a funny video clip about Bernard and i converted the sound from that video and made a gramofone track. Bernard favorite song by the way :hmm: :D

About a filefront server

Seems like the Admins of thise site limit the UDP open ports. So if you expirience a dowload eror - just keep refreshing the page until you will get a download window.

Happy hunting:up:
Dimitrius;)

[Sailor Steve]

A member (now he is a moderator) Seth (there is mistake in the readme i wrote Sith instead).
Maybe your subconcious knows something the rest of us don't.:hmm:

[Dimitrius07]

Do you mean thise

http://youtube.com/watch?v=jkOO8CSafxE
:oops: :oops: :oops:

[GoldenRivet]

the bernard mod simply reconfigures some key commands. :up:

1= back emergency
2= back emergency
3= back emergency
4= back emergency
5= Ahead standard
6= back emergency
7= back emergency
8= back emergency
9= ahead Full
D= Surface
P=Crash Dive
B=dive
[=hard starboard
]=hard port
Z=Ahead Flank
L=Fire torpedo

[_Seth_]

A member (now he is a moderator) Seth (there is mistake in the readme i wrote Sith instead). Maybe your subconcious knows something the rest of us don't.:hmm:

:rotfl::rotfl::up: Steve, mate! You always sparkle with some excellent comments!!:yep::rock:



@Dimitrius07: Yepp, that's the one! Here is the link to the one i uploaded (it's the same as the one above)! All the credits goes to Hoyboys!:up:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD-cUewXnAw

[Blacklight]

Yeah. I have the Ballad of Bernard already in my gramaphone. That's an old tune but a good one. I think it may have even been Doctor Demento material but I could be wrong. I have a tape reccording of a "Comedy hour" that a radio station here used to play back in the 80's and "The Ballad of Bernard" is on it. I never knew someone made a video of it !

I'm going to take a look at some of the files in the SHIII folder and play around and see what I can alter to make a cool Bernard Mod. A little experimentation can't hurt since I'll be uninstalling it and putting in GWX 2.0 at the end of the week. :up:

Also, since I have a home reccording studio in this room, I may be able to reccord some good Bernard related audio to replace sound files with as well.:|\\
the bernard mod simply reconfigures some key commands. :up:

the bernard mod simply reconfigures some key commands. :up:

1= back emergency
2= back emergency
3= back emergency
4= back emergency
5= Ahead standard
6= back emergency
7= back emergency
8= back emergency
9= ahead Full
D= Surface
P=Crash Dive
B=dive
[=hard starboard
]=hard port
Z=Ahead Flank
L=Fire torpedo


This is awesome ! Now if only I can find a way for these key commands to remap randomly....:hmm:

[Sledgehammer427]

I can clearly say that I LOVE Bernard.

and here i was thinking i would catch a bunch of "burn the heretic" replies....

so much for that....

well...when in doubt....

find a hole and make sure bernard doesnt follow you in

good idea for the keymapping...

one of the mods in the DL page on the front page has a bunch of keymapping stuff...
the bernard mod is possible!!!!

[Blacklight]

We can always set up multiple JSGME folders that each contain random remapping of the controls and then before each mission close our eyes and randomly pick one.. or work it into a function of SHIII Commander... or have a setting in SHIII Commander for "Bernard" that totally futzes things up. hehehe !

and here i was thinking i would catch a bunch of "burn the heretic" replies....



Funny. I was expecting that too ! :rotfl:
I was expecting to get lynched and burned at the stake when I mentioned the Gi Joe comic book themed mod that I was working off and on for Dangerous Waters and Harpoon3 ANW as well, but I'm aparently still alive somehow. I think the community just accepts me as crazy and pities my broken mind. :hmm:

The more I'm thinking of a Bernard Mod, the more I'm thinking about actually going in and experimenting with doing it. I LOVE reading Bernard stories and I think there should be a thread devoted to them. A game so serious as SHIII could use a good dose of comedy ! :88)

OH !!! We'll need some Bernard Conning Tower Emblems too !:rock:

[Sledgehammer427]

Bernard conning tower emblems...
hmmm.
maybe a gigantic SOS on the side, or a red cross.....
maybe have the U-boat all red with fingerpainting all over it :rotfl:
:hmm:

[Letum]

Bernard mod; same as the open hatch mod, but with the conning tower hatch.

[GoldenRivet]

Bernard conning tower emblems...
hmmm.
maybe a gigantic SOS on the side, or a red cross.....
maybe have the U-boat all red with fingerpainting all over it :rotfl:
:hmm:

or a big target

or paint the whole sub neon yellow

[Blacklight]

I LOVE the big target one !!!!! I'm going to make one right now !!!!:rock:

It SO fits my game experiences lately !!!!!

[Ivan Putski]

I think I have two Bernards aboard, one in each torpedo room.:D

[Brag]

J.S. Balz writes:

GWX 2.0

14 August 1939
Bernard Holzkopf for my 2nd watch officer? He has failed every single U-boat course.

Ah, yes sir, Herr Admiral, If anyone can straighten him out it's me. Of course, Herr admiral.

[Subtype Zero]

I would like a Bernard mod that fires a torpedo with the image of one of the crew from my boot. The German equivalent of a flying Scotsman! :o Of course, it would hit the hull of my target and bounce off!

"Another Bernard dud, herr Kaluen!"

"Scheisse!" :rotfl::rotfl:

[Blacklight]

I would like a Bernard mod that fires a torpedo with the image of one of the crew from my boot. The German equivalent of a flying Scotsman! :o Of course, it would hit the hull of my target and bounce off!

"Another Bernard dud, herr Kaluen!"

"Scheisse!" :rotfl::rotfl:

Okay !:rotfl:
I'm SO waiting to see a video of this pop up on Youtube !!! When it bounces off, it has to say "OW !"

[NiclDoe]

J.S. Balz writes:

GWX 2.0

14 August 1939
Bernard Holzkopf for my 2nd watch officer? He has failed every single U-boat course.

Ah, yes sir, Herr Admiral, If anyone can straighten him out it's me. Of course, Herr admiral.
Becuas he stupidty can actully help us win the war. and Balz is very lucky indeed.

[Oberon]

I had a WO with a very goofy voice who replaced the WO who was killed after a shell hit the conning tower on U-35 in the early months of 1940.
His name wasn't Bernard though...a relation maybe? :o

[Wolfehunter]

Do you wonder if Mr. Bean and Bernard are related?:hmm:

[_Seth_]

Do you wonder if Mr. Bean and Bernard are related?:hmm::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:MR. BEANARD!!!!

[Blacklight]

I had a WO with a very goofy voice who replaced the WO who was killed after a shell hit the conning tower on U-35 in the early months of 1940.
His name wasn't Bernard though...a relation maybe? :o

I think i actually had a cross dresser on my last outting. I put one of my bootsman into the hydrophone position and later on, when he heard a ship, called out the contacts in a DISTINCTLY FEMALE VOICE.

From that point on.. my crew always wanted to hang out with Bootsman Pat for some reason.:shifty:

[U49]

May, 8th 2045

*** breaking news headline ***
100 years after the end of WW2 a secret MI6 archive was open to the public.

A long time strategically place MI6 mole agent codename "Bernhard" was planted in early 1939 deep into the Ubootwaffe to sabotage to expected war.

His actions are not recorded into the file, but as the Ubootwaffe was performing far under anybody's expectations (and germany lost the war), the claims seem to be the truth.

Neither "Bernhards" real name nor his identity under which he operated in germany in WW2 were revealed in that file. There are no indicators of his further life after 8th of may, 1945.