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Spruence M
09-30-07, 05:15 PM
You know you've been playing SH3 too much when...

You think about doing the wiggle wobble maneuver after a police officer turns on his lights.
You stop and make very sure that no one is near enough to hear you before drinking your coffee.
Sitting at the doctor’s office wishing you could go up to 256x TC.
You're boat is badly injured but decide to bear with it because reloading the game would take too long.
You stand stupidly in front of a radio waiting for BdU to respond.
You expect even the smallest object to throw interesting and sharply defined reflections.
You wonder what degree setting to use when lauching a salvo of darts.
It’s safe to assume only AI U-boats can survive the battle when your girlfriend starts talking about feelings.
Real water seems far too translucent and just doesn't ripple realistically.
You calculate AOB on any unknowing automobile on the highway.
You first son’s middle name is Kaluen.
You sit at red lights waiting for the “Ahead Standard” call.
You believe you understand torpedo physics but don't really care.
You always try to keep your enemies in front of you and at a range of 500 meters.
You expect some german guy to scream, “Compartment taking water” when you get in the shower.
You destroy anything English by sheer force of habit.
You think about what a cool looking emblem the box of “Strike anywhere matches” would make.
After a long day at work you think about switching back to your desiel engines.
Commanding your automobile to dive when it begins to rain.
When your crew inform you that there has been an aircraft spotted you look up.
Life's sound track seems dull and uninteresting.
Your relationships suffer because you forget you cannot spend 30 days at sea after returning home from work.
You expect air bubbles when you drop a pen into a sink full of water.
Fear of shore batteries prevents you from going fishing.
Fear of what might happen prevents you from making a direct approach to friends at the bar.

You expect to hear ASDIC while in any dark hallway.
You don't even bother trying to stop yourself when “Educating” someone in history.
Anything but Rum, Beer, Whiskey, Scotch, Vodka and Wine is useful only for U-Boat special cocktails.
You know how to pronounce “Snorkel” in proper German.
Standing on “Bridge” of your car seems normal.
You expect to lose control of your body to a depth charge at any moment.
Real snow just doesn't sound realistically enough.
You try to evade or destroy any nearby sound contacts.
You figure a trip to port can fix anything.
The louder something is, the more it excites you.
You know you understand Torpedo Physics and still don't really care.
The sound of popping glass causes you to spin about wildly looking for proper damage reports.
..
Posts containing names like "Lehman" and "Racerboy" draw extreame attention.
Carrying thousands of pounds of oil fuel, 16 700lb torpedo warheads, 105 88mm high explosive shells and a number of other miscellaneous objects seems a bit too limiting.
Carrying twice all that gear seems perfectly reasonable.
...
You try to find every opportunity to get back on patrol.
You immediately pocket any intelligence reports you find.
You think you can go anwhere because your fuel gage is still full.
None of the "textures" in your neighborhood look right.
You eat only meat, lemons and condesed milk.

You expect to be “invisible” while walking slow.
You religiously avoid anthing exclusively the color red.
You nickname your most difficult son Fletcher.
You don’t know what you look like in the mirror.
You confuse “Groundhog day” with “Incoming Hedgehog”
When the ground starts shaking, an earthquake is the farthest thing from your mind.
You run immediately towards any blue dots you see and try to dock with them.
Getting shot at concerns you only because they could damage your pressure hull.
What excites you most about a woman is that she knows what an underseaboot is.
You use red lights in your computer room.
When someone just stands and stares at you, your first reaction is to put a shot across their bow.
You are oddly more respectfull than others your age when walking near graveyards.
You wonder if you are going to survive to 45.
The sound of engines sets you to an immediate dive.
You live with the constant fear that enormous, heavily-armored escorts may suddenly appear next to the blonde at the bar.
You always look down to check depth for when entering an unfamiliar area.
You open all the doors in your house before actually using one.
You grant concrete structures a very wide berth.
You aren't a programmer by trade but find the .tga language fascinating nevertheless.
You always consider before hand what to set the depth of your conversations too.
You're sure that the solution to all of life's problems somehow involves a submarine.
You begin to think that all the fishing vessels near your home need Re-Skinned.
You have a higher understanding of why things happen today than others in your age group.
Improving your fuel consumption is one of life's most basic priorities.
You expect to be able to dive in just about any tough situation.
An island just isn't an island without a Catalina circling it.
You understand the background story.
You stop hunting for single merchants because it's too easy.
You wonder whether you are the “King of Tonnage” or merely a miserable thief, knocking some BRTs here and there.
Your to-do list includes items such as "Sink HMS Hood", "Intercept ONS--5" and "Banish Benard to the Abyss".
What you fear more than anything else in the world can be summed up in two words: Black Swans.
You consider living to 45 entirely satisfying.
You could have written Silent Hunter IV in the time you've spent waiting for games to load.
You consider the GWX Mod the most important invention of this decade.
Your soul seems like a fair price for better multi-player support.
You interpret saving your game as a sign of weakness.
You think u-boat special cocktails are normal and taste perfectly good.
You consider learning German just to be able to understand the crew's comments.
You spend time reading lists of indicators that you've been playing SH3 too much.
You begin to think hair on your pork is normal.

Brag
09-30-07, 05:29 PM
And worst of all, is when you start writing lists of things that let you know you have been playing too long. :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Spruence M
09-30-07, 06:58 PM
And worst of all, is when you start writing lists of things that let you know you have been playing too long. :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Indeed

jazman
09-30-07, 07:06 PM
You should live in a port city. Real targets galore!

KaustikSoda
09-30-07, 07:19 PM
:rotfl:
I actually recognize myself in atleast one or two parts of that list.
Very funny. Thanks for the laugh.

KeptinCranky
09-30-07, 08:01 PM
You forgot:
calculating the AOB on a couple of ducks you see swimming along on your way home from work, and wondering whether you can get both in a single salvo :-?

every single ship you see anywhere gets a GRT estimate....

:D

Frostyvegi
09-30-07, 10:26 PM
Another one.. same wavelength though..

You keep looking for your copy of the Recongition Guide that should be stashed in your glove compartment every time you go for a drive

StarFox
09-30-07, 11:10 PM
when you car runs out of gas, the first thing you think is "switching to electrics"

Kaleu. Jochen Mohr
09-30-07, 11:55 PM
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

you have SH3 to long, time to switch :yep: :rotfl:

andylegate
10-01-07, 05:39 AM
"When your spouse comes at you with an argument, you immediately think and hear 'Crash dive!' "


:rotfl:

Frostyvegi
10-01-07, 07:15 AM
"Whenever you send paperwork 'upstairs' at your place of business, you always have a sneaking suspicion the reply will contain the phrase 'Be more agressive!'"

Jimbuna
10-01-07, 08:48 AM
Your missus starts sleeping in the room next door because you haven't bathed or shaved in 3 months.

TarJak
10-02-07, 08:16 AM
All your clothes are constantly wet and they smell of mold.

papa_smurf
10-02-07, 10:14 AM
"When your spouse comes at you with an argument, you immediately think and hear 'Crash dive!' "


:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Kaleu. Jochen Mohr
10-02-07, 10:27 AM
Your missus starts sleeping in the room next door because you haven't bathed or shaved in 3 months.

:hmm: i remember i had one of those time's, my family was glad i lived alone :rotfl:
now i take a shower every week :up:

papa_smurf
10-02-07, 10:29 AM
Heres another one for the list:

"You have a picture of Gross Admiral Doenitz on you cars dashboard"

minute
10-02-07, 11:55 AM
...you suddenly get bored of playing and start making polls.... :D

U49
10-02-07, 12:19 PM
You stand stupidly in front of a radio waiting for BdU to respond.

Hmm, :hmm: what' wrong with the radio? Is it broken?
Send the contact report again, maybe it helps..

Spruence M
10-02-07, 12:34 PM
Heres another one for the list:

"You have a picture of Gross Admiral Doenitz on you cars dashboard"

http://members.cox.net/groundbreaker/desktop.JPG

Or on your computer desktop :shifty:

U49
10-02-07, 12:59 PM
[xx] you start assigning patrol area designators to your daily life places. you don't go to the bakery anymore but patrol AM18...

Brag
10-02-07, 01:27 PM
anti-poll bump

Kaleu. Jochen Mohr
10-02-07, 01:34 PM
anti-poll bump

wrong thread Brag :lol:

Huskalar
10-02-07, 03:51 PM
I know that I've played enough when I get a 'neue Funkspruch' on my mobile phone and I expect it to be BdU, but it then turns out to be my girlfriend. :hmm:

Jimbuna
10-02-07, 04:02 PM
I know that I've played enough when I get a 'neue Funkspruch' on my mobile phone and I expect it to be BdU, but it then turns out to be my girlfriend. :hmm:

Who might that be .....Eva ? :lol:

Huskalar
10-02-07, 04:13 PM
Well,........yes. How did you find that out? :hmm:

U-96
10-02-07, 04:23 PM
:rotfl:
These are absolutely brilliant. I have a couple more for you.

xx. When a relative you don't like approaches you, you yell 'ALAAARRRRRMMM!'

xx. You say things like 'Rohr eins feuer berite Herr Kaleunt' for things like 'The food is ready'

Brag
10-02-07, 06:04 PM
anti poll bump

U49
10-02-07, 06:25 PM
anti poll bump
So, what is your point in this thread ?

mowgli99
10-02-07, 07:30 PM
#27 :rotfl: :rotfl: . I sometimes feel like i am sinking or submerging when i first doze off to sleep.

AtlantikEel
10-02-07, 07:33 PM
You start sending yourself Enigma messages from home to work and back. :shifty:

U49
10-02-07, 07:36 PM
You start sending yourself Enigma messages from home to work and back. :shifty:

.. or worse: encode the SMS to your girlfriend in enigma code and be astonished when she doesn't show up in front of the restaurant

Jimbuna
10-03-07, 09:22 AM
Well,........yes. How did you find that out? :hmm:

She rings me every time you leave port :rotfl:

;) :up:

Bismarck
10-03-07, 10:23 AM
You are too scared to go on Buses near Airports because of what happened to the Bismarck.

Curval
10-03-07, 10:31 AM
I guess I don't play enough SHIII...don't do any of the aforementioned.

BUT when I used to fly Aces High alot I was driving home one night with the wife in the car and I came to a sharp corner. To this day I don't know why, but I decided to "blow energy" rather than brake for the turn. So, I turned left then right and left again in one quick motion and the effect slowed me enough so that I didn't have to apply the brake.

My wife looked at me and said "What was THAT for?"

I didn't have the heart to tell her the real reason so I made something up about seeing something onthe road.

Huskalar
10-03-07, 01:49 PM
She rings me every time you leave port :rotfl:

;) :up:So, that's why I have to spend so much money on my phone bills lately. :nope: :D

NiclDoe
10-03-07, 03:03 PM
You all so look up in the sky for any enemy aircraft and always scream ALARM 2 in the morning.

Spruence M
10-03-07, 03:07 PM
anti poll bump
So, what is your point in this thread ?

The polls are out of control, Brag and I were trying to move the good posts up and the polls down by bumping them.

Jimbuna
10-03-07, 03:19 PM
She rings me every time you leave port :rotfl:

;) :up:So, that's why I have to spend so much money on my phone bills lately. :nope: :D

:up:

bgey
10-03-07, 03:20 PM
You play 'til the middle of the night, go to sleep, lie tossing and turning on the edge of sleep trying to sink that convoy. And then thinking you're under attack when the alarmclock goes off... :nope: and again nine minutes later... and again nine minutes later... and AGAIN nine minutes later :damn:

Huskalar
10-03-07, 03:36 PM
Nice one bgey. Welcome to Subsim, Herr Kaleun! :up:

Jimbuna
10-03-07, 03:47 PM
Welcome aboard Kaleun bgey :arrgh!:

java`s revenge
10-03-07, 04:02 PM
When you command your wife all flank!!

Kpt. Lehmann
10-03-07, 04:26 PM
:rotfl: OMG!!! That first post is so damn funny!:rotfl:

Along the lines of, "You might be a redneck if..."

Brilliant!

<BTW... how can there be any shame if you save your game because you are HARD CORE and play at 1x TC???:arrgh!: >

AtlantikEel
10-03-07, 08:38 PM
You play 'til the middle of the night, go to sleep, lie tossing and turning on the edge of sleep trying to sink that convoy. And then thinking you're under attack when the alarmclock goes off... :nope: and again nine minutes later... and again nine minutes later... and AGAIN nine minutes later :damn:

Yes, that's me ..... up until 02:00 in GWX 1.03 in spite of work ..... then that *@^# alarm at 06:30! (and mine is every nine minutes too ... industry standard I guess).

UnterseeBoogeyMan
10-04-07, 12:37 AM
when I have Jurgen Prochnow's 'Alllaaaarrrm!' as the mp3 when the pc boots up or shuts down.

or when you get a tatoo of the laughing swordfish

U49
10-04-07, 04:27 PM
when I have Jurgen Prochnow's 'Alllaaaarrrm!' as the mp3 when the pc boots up or shuts down.


You could also call for "flank ahead, rudder full starboard, front plane down 20, back plane up 10!"
................
when the phone rings...

skookum
10-04-07, 05:04 PM
When your girlfriend, who got off work early, taps you on the shoulder and it scares the crap out of you because you thought you were home alone, you were playing with the headphones on and concentrating on evading DD's during a depth charge attack, instead of cooking dinner like you told her you would.:up:

AtlantikEel
10-04-07, 07:15 PM
When your girlfriend, who got off work early, taps you on the shoulder and it scares the crap out of you because you thought you were home alone, you were playing with the headphones on and concentrating on evading DD's during a depth charge attack, instead of cooking dinner like you told her you would.:up:

I'll bet you're still apologising for that one!

The first time that I ever flew under a bridge in IL2 was when I was flying with the sound off while talking to my girlfriend on the phone ...... I almost whooped for joy and gave myself away!

jazman
10-04-07, 10:46 PM
I know that I've played enough when I get a 'neue Funkspruch' on my mobile phone and I expect it to be BdU, but it then turns out to be my girlfriend. :hmm:
I bet your girlfriend never says, "Be more aggressive!"

Kodaita
10-05-07, 01:04 AM
When one of your goldfish dies, and you form up the family in ranks in front of the toilet bowl at dawn the next morning, give a speech remembering his life and dedication to duty while playing Venatore's Last Post song.

Kaleu. Jochen Mohr
10-05-07, 02:54 AM
When one of your goldfish dies, and you form up the family in ranks in front of the toilet bowl at dawn the next morning, give a speech remembering his life and dedication to duty while playing Venatore's Last Post song.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Erwin Schulz
10-05-07, 03:08 AM
How about when you take your car to the shop and ask for them to look at the hull because the last time you dived it flooded? or to look at the dive planes as you think they might be off?

Jimbuna
10-05-07, 04:13 PM
How about when you take your car to the shop and ask for them to look at the hull because the last time you dived it flooded? or to look at the dive planes as you think they might be off?

If you knew what the weather is like in the north of England you'd realise we do this regular :p

Erwin Schulz
10-05-07, 04:39 PM
Hey, i'm not that far the north! (west midlands) although a U-boat would have been handy oop north a few months ago!

Frostyvegi
10-05-07, 06:20 PM
I did this the other day.. saw a TV advertisement for a holiday on a cruise liner.. first thought was "I wonder how much tonnage/renown I'd get for sinking that baby?".. I lol'ed at myself..

Something I used to do with Battlefield 2 when I used to play at the internet cafe before I built my rig (computer).. used to do late night sessions for 6 hours or so.. stumble outta the place at like 3am and for the first 10 minutes whenever I saw someone on the side of the road I'd think "Enemy infantry! Shoot!!" because they don't have the friendly 'blue' tag above their heads.. :rotfl:

Lafferty
10-05-07, 07:04 PM
I did this the other day.. saw a TV advertisement for a holiday on a cruise liner.. first thought was "I wonder how much tonnage/renown I'd get for sinking that baby?".. I lol'ed at myself..

Something I used to do with Battlefield 2 when I used to play at the internet cafe before I built my rig (computer).. used to do late night sessions for 6 hours or so.. stumble outta the place at like 3am and for the first 10 minutes whenever I saw someone on the side of the road I'd think "Enemy infantry! Shoot!!" because they don't have the friendly 'blue' tag above their heads.. :rotfl:

LOL I've done that before.

NiclDoe
10-05-07, 10:06 PM
Since Im in skool i take fire drills Like crash diving. its quiet scary to hear them go off so unexpectianly. Im like to myself: plane where? ALLLARM!!!!!!!!!!

swuboo
10-06-07, 01:51 AM
Long, long ago, an acquaintance jumped out at me from around a corner. Thinking myself under attack, I did the only thing I could:

I slammed my left middle finger onto an invisible S key and my left thumb onto an imaginary space bar. This was my only physical reaction.

What can I say? I played a lot of Unreal Tournament in my youth.

Nowadays, I just like to exhort my mathematically inclined friends to play GWX. "Think of it as trigonometry... with explosions!"

Huskalar
10-06-07, 06:56 AM
I bet your girlfriend never says, "Be more aggressive!"Well, actually she does! :D ;)

Kaleu. Jochen Mohr
10-06-07, 07:30 AM
when your e-mail adress contains silenthunter :p (actualy... it do's :roll:)

nikimcbee
10-06-07, 07:39 AM
These need to be in the almanac!:oops:

nikimcbee
10-06-07, 07:42 AM
I wear my rain gear while driving the car.

Huskalar
10-06-07, 07:43 AM
I bet your girlfriend never says, "Be more aggressive!"Well, actually she does! :D ;)Somehow I feel the need to explain myself. She wants me to end my patrols faster so she can play Sims 2 again. :D

U-96
10-06-07, 03:54 PM
Here's another, you yell ALARM! whenever you hear a plane fly overhead

Jimbuna
10-06-07, 04:46 PM
You answer all your mails with a cryptic code. :arrgh!:

Kaleu. Jochen Mohr
10-06-07, 04:54 PM
You answer all your mails with a cryptic code. :arrgh!:

i do that to ppl i know... had lots of mails saying "what the heck ?" :rotfl:

Jimbuna
10-06-07, 05:02 PM
You answer all your mails with a cryptic code. :arrgh!:

i do that to ppl i know... had lots of mails saying "what the heck ?" :rotfl:

Yes, one can imagine ;)