Balz Reports Back

[Brag]

From Kptlt. Johan Sebastian Balz

Lorient, 22 November 1940.

Just returned from patrol and Herr Admiral Doenitz told me to be modest. So I modestly report 109,072 BRT sunk, which is a modest tonnage for a great U-Boot Komandant such as myself. During this patrol we experienced monstrous seas and restricted visibility most of the time. Attempted an attack on a convoy but were unable to even launch one single torpedo. Most of the sinkings were done by surfacing behind a freighter approaching it 'til seeing the stern and letting it have a magnetic under the poop from about 300 meters. With fast travelling tankers had to line up with the ship's course and begin surfacing at flank speed while ship was overhead and fire the moment the scope broke surface. Great sport for Balz the Magnificent. Will anyone buy me a drink? I also received The KC with golden oak leaves, swords, and diamonds, I inform modestly.


Kptlt. J.S. Balz
A magnificent, modest U-Boat Komandant.:smug:

[sunvalleyslim]

My dearest John Sebastian,
It is me, your Grecthen wanting to know how you are. Many news reports come in from the fronts, but never a word about you the famous Kapt. "BB" Balz. Have you asked Adm. Doenitz not to leak news of you? I go to the Gestapo Headquarters almost every day inquiring about you but they say they have never heard of you. How can that be? You have always told me you are the greatest of all Submariner Commanders. Why do they not give you your due.
Can it be that you are hiding from your little Grecthen? I went to the doctor and he said that I'm very late. I know that I have put some weight on around der belly, but I worry so much about you that I eat constantly. Sometimes I think that I am eating for two. Maybe I am going to have a little Hoochie Koochie, what do you think?......Please let me know how you are. I miss your "Hoochie Woochie" songs, and I want to play "Submarines" with you again in the Hot Tub...........Your "Little Pig Pen" Grecthen

[ichso]

Grecthen
It's spelled Gretchen and it's a horrible name :shifty:

[Avatar]

*Decoded via ENIGMA* FR: U53, Nov 1940, AM41 south of Rockall. 3 ships sunk for 13000 tons. Continuing attack. RE: I'm afraid I will not be able to buy you that beer just yet. Congratulations! Zum Wohl!

[Packerton]

Congratulations Balz, one more patrol I see :arrgh!: :rock:

[Shelton]

LOL kool

[Brag]

From Kptlt. J.S. Balz
Lorient, 24 November 1940

Thank you for the gratulierungs and the future beer.

I've been thinking about getting a larger boat, one with better acoustics for the choir. But all BDU offered me was a lousy, stinking IXB. not really suitable for the world's greatest submariner. While we rest I still conduct choir practice. We are preparing a Christmas programme: Heilige Hoochie Woochie, The Three wise Hoochies, Sinking on Christmas Day Samba are in the programme. :smug:

J.S. Balz (The Magnificent)
Please notice the modesty brackets.:smug: