A Canadian joke....

[HMCS]

Three guys are on vacation in England; a Canadian, an American and a Scotsman. They decide to rent a car, and go for a nice drive. They head into the country, with those twisty, narrow little roads.

The driver misses his turn and BAM!! He hits a tree.

There's a brilliant white flash of light, and they are standing in clouds, staring at the pearly gates. A man comes up and introduces himself.

"Welcome to Heaven. I am St. Peter. If you step over to my office, we can get you in right away. All I need is your names and birthdates."

So the three give him what he asked for. He looks through his records, and shakes his head. "This is awful- a terrible mistake. It doesn't happen very often, but there's no mistake about it. You're not supposed to be here!"

St. Peter then says: "I can't let you in, it would be totally against the rules. But I do have to charge you a $20 processing fee to send you back."

The American immediately brightens up and says, "Well, that's a deal I can't possibly pass up!" Here you go, Pete.

Then a few moments later, and another bright flash of light, and the American is lying on the grass near the car, with the paramedics working feverishly to save him.

He sits up.

The paramedics are astounded-the say "This is incredible! You were dead! What happened?"

The American says: "Well, lets see...there was the crash, then we were in heaven, and St. Peter said we could come back if we gave him $20."

Paramedics: "What about the other two?"

The American replies: "Well, the Scotsman is still haggling over the price, and the Canadian wants the government to pay for it!"

[P_Funk]

:rotfl:

Spot on. HAHAHAHAHAHA

[Jimbuna]

LMAO

:rotfl: :rotfl:

[HunterICX]

:rotfl: Hehehehe, Good one :up:

[ReallyDedPoet]

That's pretty good :yep:


RDP

[bookworm_020]

Love it!:D:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[mbthegreat]

nah the scotsman would just beat him up

[Reaves]

Here is one I found. :p



An American, a Canadian, and an Australian were sitting in a seedy bar enjoying a few beers. The American grabbed his beer, knocked it back in one gulp, then he threw the glass into the air and shot it with his handgun. As he set the handgun on the bar, he told the Canadian and the Australian that in the great U.S. of A, they had so much money they never drank out of the same glass twice.
Next the Australian drank his beer, threw the glass into the air and shot the glass with the American's gun. As he was setting the gun back on the bar he proclaimed that in Australia they had so much sand that glass was cheap and he too never drank out of the same glass twice.
Next the Canadian drank his beer, grabbed the gun off the bar, and shot the American. As he was setting the gun back on the bar, he told the Australian that in Canada we have so many Americans you never have to drink with the same one twice.

[bookworm_020]

Here is one I found. :p



An American, a Canadian, and an Australian were sitting in a seedy bar enjoying a few beers. The American grabbed his beer, knocked it back in one gulp, then he threw the glass into the air and shot it with his handgun. As he set the handgun on the bar, he told the Canadian and the Australian that in the great U.S. of A, they had so much money they never drank out of the same glass twice.
Next the Australian drank his beer, threw the glass into the air and shot the glass with the American's gun. As he was setting the gun back on the bar he proclaimed that in Australia they had so much sand that glass was cheap and he too never drank out of the same glass twice.
Next the Canadian drank his beer, grabbed the gun off the bar, and shot the American. As he was setting the gun back on the bar, he told the Australian that in Canada we have so many Americans you never have to drink with the same one twice.

Not bad, A!:rotfl:

[Reaves]

I like Canadians, they are like New Zealanders except they don't beat us in sport. :p

Ay, bro?

[Kaleu. Jochen Mohr]

LMAO on both jokes :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

keep it up mate's :rock:

[Jimbuna]

Here is one I found. :p



An American, a Canadian, and an Australian were sitting in a seedy bar enjoying a few beers. The American grabbed his beer, knocked it back in one gulp, then he threw the glass into the air and shot it with his handgun. As he set the handgun on the bar, he told the Canadian and the Australian that in the great U.S. of A, they had so much money they never drank out of the same glass twice.
Next the Australian drank his beer, threw the glass into the air and shot the glass with the American's gun. As he was setting the gun back on the bar he proclaimed that in Australia they had so much sand that glass was cheap and he too never drank out of the same glass twice.
Next the Canadian drank his beer, grabbed the gun off the bar, and shot the American. As he was setting the gun back on the bar, he told the Australian that in Canada we have so many Americans you never have to drink with the same one twice.

:rock: :up:

[HMCS]

I like Canadians, they are like New Zealanders except they don't beat us in sport. :p

Ay, bro?

Only 'cause you don't play hockey, curl or synchronize swim. You only play rugby, and there are all sorts of countries who can't handle the All-Blacks, not just us.

I would like to have seen THIS game, though.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eGCsEQ15L4

[HunterICX]

This is the kind of Haka, that make me wish NOT to be on the opposite team
:o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2HyZPuvD-A

[bigboywooly]

Here is one I found. :p



An American, a Canadian, and an Australian were sitting in a seedy bar enjoying a few beers. The American grabbed his beer, knocked it back in one gulp, then he threw the glass into the air and shot it with his handgun. As he set the handgun on the bar, he told the Canadian and the Australian that in the great U.S. of A, they had so much money they never drank out of the same glass twice.
Next the Australian drank his beer, threw the glass into the air and shot the glass with the American's gun. As he was setting the gun back on the bar he proclaimed that in Australia they had so much sand that glass was cheap and he too never drank out of the same glass twice.
Next the Canadian drank his beer, grabbed the gun off the bar, and shot the American. As he was setting the gun back on the bar, he told the Australian that in Canada we have so many Americans you never have to drink with the same one twice.

LMAO
Have that one but in an " English " version

[Jimbuna]

Phah!!....rugby is just a game played by men with funny shaped balls....and, besides, you know what they say ...."The Mountie always gets his man" :lol:

[JALU3]

What's brown and white and flops on the beach?

A Filipino and a seagull fighting over a fish!