View Full Version : Who here hates bernard (why am i doing this to my self?)
ubootcomrade
03-15-07, 06:52 PM
The bernard on my u-boat would have to be my nav officer, like when i was in the english channel for some reason I found my self flying head first in to dover port...this was the first time the 'curse of bernard' hit my u-boat (u-64 type viic)
well..who here has had similer experiances come on share your pain:yep: :yep: :yep:
I have no Bernard any more, on one patrol we ran out of food so Bernard went into the cooking pot. :shifty:
If your crew eats that, they may turn into Bernard.:o After all, you are what you eat!
ubootcomrade
03-15-07, 06:59 PM
I have no Bernard any more, on one patrol we ran out of food so Bernard went into the cooking pot. :shifty:
mmmmmmmmm...bernard soup :88)
ubootcomrade
03-15-07, 07:00 PM
I have no Bernard any more, on one patrol we ran out of food so Bernard went into the cooking pot. :shifty:
mmmmmmmmm...bernard soup :88)
I have to amit that sounded wrong (VERY wrong) :nope:
My crew have been top of the form and on the ball ever since. :smug:
ubootcomrade
03-15-07, 07:03 PM
STEED, what would you do if bernard came back from the dead :dead:
B:ping: :ping: :ping: :ping: r
ubootcomrade
03-15-07, 07:13 PM
'Return of the...BERNARDS'
'MUMMY,it scares me'- young child age-49
'WHAT THE... IS THIS'- me
'WORST MOVIE OF THE YEAR 2007'
:hmm: :hmm: :hmm:
ubootcomrade
03-15-07, 07:23 PM
january 1942 U-64 is waiting in the harbor OF SCAMPA FLOW for the elite destroyer group to leave before nightfall...
Meanwhile in the control room...
BERNARD: DUH..kaulean keenan
k.keenan:what?
bernard: what does this button do sir...?
K.KEENAN:Thats the 'blow ballast' button DONT press that or the next bullet in my luger will be in your empty skull.
bernard:duh..ok sir
Later 15:12 the destroyer group is passing over head u-64
Bernard (thinking to him self): duh i forgot what blow ballast does...oh well the kauleans busy so i dont think he would mind if i press it...
*HISSING NOISE*
Kaluean keenan: BEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S if you dont already know keenans my surname;)
robbo180265
03-15-07, 07:57 PM
Welcome aboard matey:up: Bernard saves my games sometimes:o
ubootcomrade
03-15-07, 08:36 PM
Welcome aboard matey:up: Bernard saves my games sometimes:o
Thanks mate, i like the 'kick me' hitler picture':rock:
Camaero
03-15-07, 09:14 PM
Sometimes I think i'm Bernard!
Sometimes I think i'm Bernard!
It's pretty scary to imagine that Bernard actually thinks :doh:
Camaero
03-15-07, 10:45 PM
Sometimes I think i'm Bernard!
It's pretty scary to imagine that Bernard actually thinks :doh:
Only after I do something very stupid!:rotfl:
Hey guys
I have been gone from SH3 for about a year.
Who is benard:hmm: Is he one of the crew that look's :arrgh!:
Lane :D
robbo180265
03-16-07, 06:47 AM
Hey guys
I have been gone from SH3 for about a year.
Who is benard:hmm: Is he one of the crew that look's :arrgh!:
Lane :D
Welcome back mate.
Bernard is the member of crew that we blame when something goes wrong. So if the game has a hissy fit after a save and sends me on a crash dive of death,I'll blame Bernard. If your eels miss, Bernard launched them. If you run aground, Bernard was navigating - get the idea?
I just pat him gently in the back and say "Good work, son". ;)
robbo180265
03-16-07, 06:51 AM
Thanks mate, i like the 'kick me' hitler picture':rock:
Cheers matey, it used to be my avatar at the Simouthouse. Unfortunately the rules about avatars here would make it too small to really see,so I made it my Sig.
Deep-Six
03-16-07, 08:23 AM
Actually, I have had a problem w/ Bernard launching two eel that missed a lightship in my current patrol. :oops: :oops:
ubootcomrade
03-16-07, 09:06 AM
:nope: :nope: :nope: no.im serious who REALLY hates bernards guts and would sooner clean out the u-boats toilets than put him any where near your u-boat:yep:
Hakahura
03-16-07, 12:50 PM
Ah Bernard. The bane of my life at sea.
I have lost count of how many times the usless *********g b*****d forgets to open the outer tube doors ruining my otherwise perfect solution.:nope: Git
ubootcomrade
03-16-07, 06:28 PM
Ah Bernard. The bane of my life at sea.
I have lost count of how many times the usless *********g b*****d forgets to open the outer tube doors ruining my otherwise perfect solution.:nope: Git
LOL, i know your pain...come here bernard i want to talk to uou about the scampa flow 'incident'. *PULLS LUGER OUT OF POCKET*
leeclose
03-16-07, 07:40 PM
I think we should hunt bernard down and give him to the allies would make all our lives soo much easier:yep:
Deep-Six
03-16-07, 08:13 PM
I am going to find him and stuff him into a torpedo tube and launch him at the americans and celebrate the demise of Bernard.:D
leeclose
03-16-07, 08:19 PM
Deep he cant be killed he is an immortal alabeit a incredibly dim immortal but hey we dont make the rules:doh:
Venatore
03-16-07, 08:20 PM
I have no Bernard any more, on one patrol we ran out of food so Bernard went into the cooking pot. :shifty:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa :rotfl:
leeclose
03-16-07, 08:22 PM
I worry about Steed i think he needs to get out more:yep:
Torplexed
03-16-07, 08:27 PM
How can you kill a cartoon character beloved by millions?
http://www.eskimo.com/%7Esnowfall/Bernard.jpg
leeclose
03-16-07, 08:30 PM
Torp that is brilliant mate even my wife thinks there funny and she takes a lot to impress trust me ive been trying for 14 years:damn:
Bernard Dummkopf
03-17-07, 04:00 AM
Very well done ubootcomrade! A thread to praise me and my glorious doings. :sunny:
To express my thanks I will have to pay you a visit. Good news for you since I have some optimization ideas for your boat (Torplexed inspired me...).
Sink, pardon, see you soon!
Bernard
ubootcomrade
03-17-07, 06:42 AM
I think we should hunt bernard down and give him to the allies would make all our lives soo much easier:yep:
They will only put him in the submarine force and he will eventualy end up on our amercan boats:nope:
ubootcomrade
03-17-07, 06:43 AM
Very well done ubootcomrade! A thread to praise me and my glorious doings. :sunny:
To express my thanks I will have to pay you a visit. Good news for you since I have some optimization ideas for your boat (Torplexed inspired me...).
Sink, pardon, see you soon!
Bernard
ARRRGH...bernards finaly found me....HELP HIDE ME..W-WHERES MY LUGER:damn:
I should never have put where i live on the location thing...but dont worry bernard,i will be waiting in my panzer tank:arrgh!:
Ive changed my location...come and find me now mr.dumbkopf
ubootcomrade
03-17-07, 06:53 AM
I am going to find him and stuff him into a torpedo tube and launch him at the americans and celebrate the demise of Bernard.:D
he will only come back as a ghost to haunt you...or come back reincarnated as a dud falke torpedo which hones in on your u-boats engines:arrgh!:
ubootcomrade
03-17-07, 07:06 AM
I know this is a bit off-topic, but does anyone know where the best hunting ground for them HUGE american battle ships is...ive hunted everywhere but no luck.
AVGWarhawk
03-17-07, 07:26 AM
Very well done ubootcomrade! A thread to praise me and my glorious doings. :sunny:
To express my thanks I will have to pay you a visit. Good news for you since I have some optimization ideas for your boat (Torplexed inspired me...).
Sink, pardon, see you soon!
Bernard
AHHH Bernard has found the forums. I suspect the entire worldwide web will crash any minute now:shifty: . Shut down your computers before the entire motherboard is fried to crisp from downloading some sorted mod created by Bernard:roll:
ubootcomrade
03-17-07, 07:40 AM
Very well done ubootcomrade! A thread to praise me and my glorious doings. :sunny:
To express my thanks I will have to pay you a visit. Good news for you since I have some optimization ideas for your boat (Torplexed inspired me...).
Sink, pardon, see you soon!
Bernard
AHHH Bernard has found the forums. I suspect the entire worldwide web will crash any minute now:shifty: . Shut down your computers before the entire motherboard is fried to crisp from downloading some sorted mod created by Bernard:roll:
Dont worry ive had a word with the BDU we hopefully wont be seeing bernard for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time. why? two words...JAP NAVY:ahoy:
Dont make threads about Bernard!
HE IS WATCHING US
I just pat him gently in the back and say "Good work, son". ;)
Dowly does it the right way, then puts him to bed and says..... "We'll do it all over again tomorrow Bernie." With a thoughtful look, Bernard says.... Goodnight Dad." You see, he looks up to Dowly as a father figure. Hopefully someday 'ol Bernard might just make a complete turnaround and be ok. :roll:
leeclose
03-17-07, 09:29 AM
Bernard is the human(semi) incarnate walking talking god of murphys law IE if it can happen it will bernard happen:yep:
AVGWarhawk
03-17-07, 10:19 AM
It is not Murphys Law...it is Bernards Law:o
leeclose
03-17-07, 10:41 AM
Exactly my point Warhawk:yep:
AVGWarhawk
03-17-07, 11:11 AM
So in essence we can say, "If it can happen, it can Bernard".
Sailor Steve
03-17-07, 11:26 AM
I am going to find him and stuff him into a torpedo tube and launch him at the americans and celebrate the demise of Bernard.:D
Deep-Six: "Fire One!"
1WO: "One away, sir!"
Voice from behind: "One what, sir?"
Deep-Six: "Wha...who...how...but didn't I just...?"
Bernard: "What, sir?"
ubootcomrade
03-17-07, 01:43 PM
Dont make threads about Bernard!
HE IS WATCHING US
And I am waiting for him :arrgh!: ..this is a trap..soon bernard will regret he ever sent me head first into dover:arrgh!:
Der Kolkrabe
03-18-07, 02:57 AM
I voted that allied ship but now I'm thinking about what happens them then :yep: :rotfl:
So maybe I kept Bernard with me :oops:
Bernard is Bernard and maybe he someday get his own sub to command :rock: but when that happens I hope that I'm long away that patrol areas where he is :sunny:
I think we should hunt bernard down and give him to the allies would make all our lives soo much easier:yep:Just in time for SHIV.
Who wants to bet that one of the officers in the SHIV stock crew will always be named Bernard?
d@rk51d3
03-18-07, 04:01 AM
STEED, what would you do if bernard came back from the dead :dead:
Eat him again! :stare:
leeclose
03-18-07, 10:20 AM
I think we should hunt bernard down and give him to the allies would make all our lives soo much easier:yep:Just in time for SHIV.
Who wants to bet that one of the officers in the SHIV stock crew will always be named Bernard?
Aim i have this horrible feeling you may be right oh crap im going to my anti bernard bunker:yep:
I think we should hunt bernard down and give him to the allies would make all our lives soo much easier:yep:Just in time for SHIV.
Who wants to bet that one of the officers in the SHIV stock crew will always be named Bernard?
Aim i have this horrible feeling you may be right oh crap im going to my anti bernard bunker:yep:
Just saw bernard heading there with a playboy (shIV edition) himself.
ubootcomrade
03-19-07, 10:08 AM
poor,old bernard...we are all picking on him:cry: ...keep doing it:arrgh!:
ubootcomrade
03-24-07, 05:51 PM
someone PLEASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE comment on this thread:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
leeclose
03-24-07, 06:33 PM
Hmmm bernard is in hiding some where send out the dogs or a unlucky ensign:yep:
Send Bernard to me.:|\\ I'll take one for the team. I'm either brave or stupid.
:doh: Then again I'm somewhat crazy, so what does it matter?
???
I'm on my first patrol...1939, type VIIB...7th flotilla.......
:oops: ...Easy mode...only cause it's my first time...
I'll work my way up the ladder...or try to do so...:oops: :(
I think , Bernard went to SH4, fell in love with Toky Rose and lives happily in Kyoto--- phew
:()1: :()1: :()1: :()1: :()1: :()1: :()1:
Bernard Dummkopf
03-25-07, 07:37 AM
I think , Bernard went to SH4, fell in love with Toky Rose and lives happily in Kyoto--- phew
:()1: :()1: :()1: :()1: :()1: :()1: :()1:
I would not let you down! Therefore I will stay with SH3 thats for sure. Now open the champagne.
Cheerio!
Bernard
rasmus1896
03-25-07, 09:08 AM
Bernaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh :damn: :damn: :damn: :damn: :damn:
Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh :damn: :damn: :damn: :damn: :damn:
Why is having Bernard around always have to be a bad thing?
Yeah, he screws up but...there has to be a good thing about him.
Unless for some reason your urge to kill is off the scale and you go on a rampage killing everyone and everything because Bernard made some mistakes.
:huh: then again I have no idea what I'm talking about so...:( I give up...
good luck with the 'Bernard' situation.
...
leeclose
03-25-07, 03:43 PM
Bernard is every where:yep:
Bernard is every where:yep:
:rotfl: That's true! :hmm: I wonder how many jobs he can do and mess up completely. :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Seriously though, I wouldn't be mad at his mistakes...only because I have
potential to make his mistakes all on my own. :oops: :) So...I have nothing to be mad at really.
Happy Posting/Hunting.
ubootcomrade
03-26-07, 01:06 AM
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: I think , Bernard went to SH4, fell in love with Toky Rose and lives happily in Kyoto--- phew
:()1: :()1: :()1: :()1: :()1: :()1: :()1:
THAT explains the Japenese lack of success
ubootcomrade
03-26-07, 01:08 AM
Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh :damn: :damn: :damn: :damn: :damn:
Why is having Bernard around always have to be a bad thing?
Yeah, he screws up but...there has to be a good thing about him.
Unless for some reason your urge to kill is off the scale and you go on a rampage killing everyone and everything because Bernard made some mistakes.
:huh: then again I have no idea what I'm talking about so...:( I give up...
good luck with the 'Bernard' situation.
...
The only good thing about bernard's is SHOOTIING them :arrgh!: :arrgh!: :arrgh!: :arrgh!: :arrgh!:
ubootcomrade
03-26-07, 01:16 AM
When,no matter how hard we try, we can push him over board,fire him out of a torpedo tube drop him out of a plane with the bombs,give them to the sniper korps for target practice, make him scribble rude things about Dornitz on his u-boat HE JUST WONT GO AWAY:damn: WHY?',BECAUSE the british equililent to bernard(dinsdale) keeps rescuing bernard and for some reason bernard is brought in by a brit sub only because ALOT of the u-boat creW are not pleased to say the least to see bernard,make enough noise to let the brit sub escape.....WE'RE COMING FOR YOU DINSDALE!!!:arrgh!: :arrgh!: :arrgh!: :arrgh!:
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