The Empire Strikes Back Again

[Sailor Steve]

I just saw this on another board I visit. The discussion was about the original Star Wars movies, and this was just priceless:

A furious light saber duel is under way. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER toward the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks round, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.
DARTH VADER: "Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father."
LUKE: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"
DARTH VADER: "No! I am your father!"
LUKE: "No, it's not true! It's impossible."
DARTH VADER: "Search your feelings; you know it to be true."
LUKE: "NO!"
DARTH VADER: "Yes, it is true and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?"
LUKE: "Threepio?"
DARTH VADER: "Yes, Threepio, I built him when I was seven years old."
LUKE: "No."
DARTH VADER: "Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp."
LUKE: "I worked hard on that moisture farm."
DARTH VADER: "What? Hauling buckets? I spent my childhood as a slave then *real* Jedi training, not 'a few days in the swamp with Yoda'."
LUKE: "I destroyed your precious Death Star!"
DARTH VADER: "When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!"
LUKE: "Well, it's not my fault."
DARTH VADER: "Oh, here we go. 'Poor me, my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday, boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith.. waahhh wahhh!'"
LUKE: "Shut up."
DARTH VADER: "You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!"
LUKE: "I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!"
DARTH VADER: "Oh, for the love of the Emperor … 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open. Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer, right here baby!"
Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step toward it.
DARTH VADER: "I was wrong. You're not my kid. I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine."
Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.
Darth Vader looks after him.
DARTH VADER: "And get a haircut!"
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[snowsub]

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :up:

[STEED]

That must be the alternative ending to The Empire Strikes Back. :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[TteFAboB]

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :up: :up:

[ASWnut101]

:p :rotfl:


Wher'd you find it?

[Letum]

Im the only person on the internets who hasn't seen a starwars film.

[Safe-Keeper]

Darth Vader: Luke... I am your father!
Luke Skywalker: Noooo! That's impossible!
Darth Vader: It's true! And Princess Leia is your sister!
Luke Skywalker: That's... improbable.
Darth Vader: And the Empire will be defeated by Ewoks!
Luke Skywalker: That's... highly unlikely...
Darth Vader: And as a kid, I built C-3PO!
Luke Skywalker: ...wha?
[time passes]
Darth Vader: And you know that all-powerful Force? That's really just microscopic bacteria called Midichlorians!
Luke Skywalker: Look, if you're not gonna take this seriously, I'm outta here!

Sigh... after watching Das Boot, I can't help thinking that the Yavin IV base should've been bombed to Hell during the award ceremony. Would've made for one Hell of an ending.

Im the only person on the internets who hasn't seen a starwars film.Damned virgins:p.

[ASWnut101]

Im the only person on the internets who hasn't seen a starwars film.


:o :o :o Are you serious?

[stabiz]

Yeah, but George Lucas messed up the three first(last) movies so badly that the entire franchise reeks of manure, so dont worry, Letum.

Give me a shovel and Jar-Jar Binks(?), and I`ll work up a sweat.

[WutWuzDat]

:rotfl: :rotfl: Priceless!!

[Konovalov]

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Brilliant.

[Letum]

Im the only person on the internets who hasn't seen a starwars film.

:o :o :o Are you serious?

Yup.

Ive seen a few clips and they al look a bit daft. :doh:

Prahaps I'm missing out, but ignorance is bliss.

[goldorak]

Im the only person on the internets who hasn't seen a starwars film.

:o :o :o Are you serious?

Yup.

Ive seen a few clips and they al look a bit daft. :doh:

Prahaps I'm missing out, but ignorance is bliss.


Absolutely not, the only way to missing out on star wars was not to have seen it in the theaters when you were a kid.
So its really no big deal. :rotfl:

[mode awaiting heavy flak from star wars fans]

Its a substandard sicence-fiction-fantasy film.
Nice to see when you're a kid but that's it.

[/mode awaiting heavy flak from star wars fans off]

[baggygreen]

that is pure class!:|\\

[Konovalov]

Im the only person on the internets who hasn't seen a starwars film.

:o :o :o Are you serious?

Yup.

Ive seen a few clips and they al look a bit daft. :doh:

Prahaps I'm missing out, but ignorance is bliss.


Absolutely not, the only way to missing out on star wars was not to have seen it in the theaters when you were a kid.
So its really no big deal. :rotfl:

[mode awaiting heavy flak from star wars fans]

Its a substandard sicence-fiction-fantasy film.
Nice to see when you're a kid but that's it.

[/mode awaiting heavy flak from star wars fans off]

I must not have grown up then. :oops:

[Sailor Steve]

:p :rotfl:


Wher'd you find it?
It was posted on the Movies page in the General section of The Message Boards at The Miniatures Page www.theminiaturespage.com (http://www.theminiaturespage.com)

Sigh... after watching Das Boot, I can't help thinking that the Yavin IV base should've been bombed to Hell during the award ceremony. Would've made for one Hell of an ending.
Actually part of the thread this was from talks about that. While the major climax is about the rebels trying to kill the Death-Star before it rounds Yavin to get at the rebel base on the moon, the thing actually had enough power to easily destroy the planet, which would destroy the moon, which would destroy the rebels. Movie over, Empire wins.

Im the only person on the internets who hasn't seen a starwars film.
They're like the Indiana Jones films. The first one is just like the Buck Rogers serials of the 1930s, but with modern effects and filming. Just a fun romp. The latter two add meat to the story, but the original really stands alone as a classic. The new three try too hard to justify what leads up to the original, but for all that they're really not as bad as some people say. They're just not as good as we all would have liked.

I recommend seeing the original, Episode IV: A New Hope. It's fun, and then you can decide if you want to see more.

[Iceman]

LMAO...good one. lol..:rotfl: