How do I...?

[She-Wolf]

Hello folks. A lot of you have a picture as a signature when you post, which adds to the ambience of the forum, if I can say it that way.

Well I don't have a picture, but I would like to put a small doc on. It is pinned on the shelf above my computer and it is a gentle 'fun' thing in pidgin German that my best beloved had in his office ( he is an electrical engineer and he worked for a British firm making radars). It makes me smile so I thought it might work here as a signature picture for others to get a grin out of - but how do I put such a thing on please?

I will scan it to make a bitmap, but need to know what size limit the jpeg must be and how to actually insert it.

Ta :)

( if some think it :down: I would remove)

[Mooncatt]

i think Danlisa would be the person to speak to about sigs :up:

[melnibonian]

This is the thread with the Sig requirements http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=88959&highlight=signature+size+limit

You can either add a signature on your own or ask someone else to do it for you.

In any case you go to your User CP (on the top left hand side of your screen) and you edit your signature. You just import her as a direct link (from imageshak or anywhere else you like) and that's it.

[danlisa]

In your User CP (nxt to FAQ & Rules) there is an option to 'Edit Signature'.

You can either type your 'doc' in there and it will display under every post you make or you can (as you say) scan it in. The image dimesions should be 400 x 120 pixels and no more than 25-30kb ish (less is better).;)

After you have added either 'words' or 'image' click on 'save changes'. Then your done.

For image hosting, most use Imageshack or Photobucket.

Edit - Right that's it.:stare: You've all got to slow down. When a lady say's 'JUMP' do you all say 'How High'?:rotfl:;) Go back to sea, all of you! That's an order.

[Mooncatt]

.

Edit - Right that's it.:stare: You've all got to slow down. When a lady say's 'JUMP' do you all say 'How High'?:rotfl:;) Go back to sea, all of you! That's an order.


:rotfl: :rotfl: you make me laugh sometimes man

[She-Wolf]

ah, right, thanks. Sounds do-able.
If you think it is bad taste tho, tell me and I will take it off again :yep:

[melnibonian]

Edit - Right that's it.:stare: You've all got to slow down. When a lady say's 'JUMP' do you all say 'How High'?:rotfl:;) Go back to sea, all of you! That's an order.
:o :p :rotfl: :rotfl:

[melnibonian]

ah, right, thanks. Sounds do-able.
If you think it is bad taste tho, tell me and I will take it off again :yep:
It has nothing to do with bad taste. The signature is yours and it's something you want. The rest of us will just have to accept it, or......go to sea by following Danlisa's orders;) :D :D

[She-Wolf]

ok, didn't bother with the jpeg as could not reduce to a small enough size and still keep legibility. So what do you think of this?

Is it too much? Is it offensive? Should I stretch it out - would that be a problem for some folks?

[Abd_von_Mumit]

ok, didn't bother with the jpeg as could not reduce to a small enough size and still keep legibility. So what do you think of this?

Is it too much? Is it offensive? Should I stretch it out - would that be a problem for some folks?
It's an eye-killer... Oh, the colour!!! It hurts!

[danlisa]

:rotfl:As most won't understand it & Babel Fish can't do a very good translation, I should leave it as is.:up:

Babel Fish Translation =

ATTENTION '! All Lookenpeepers! The Machine is not fur gefingerpoken and in the middle-digs. Easy snatches if that is jumping work, blowenfusen, and poppenkorken with sharpen-park. Is not fur trades by the dummkopfen. The rubbernecken sightseeren, bitta hands in pockets, relaxen and watch flashing lamps keepen. Thanks

Edit - What a prat!:damn: You did say Pidgeon German didn't you?
Mind you the translation is quite funny too.:hmm::D

[She-Wolf]

oh dear, is it going to go down like a lead balloon? My boss didn't understand at either, and looked at me all peculiar like - it just tickles me. Perhaps I am a bit odd... or warped...:o

Shall I get rid of it then - despite your kind assurance Danlisa?

[danlisa]

oh dear, is it going to go down like a lead balloon? My boss didn't understand at either, and looked at me all peculiar like - it just tickles me. Perhaps I am a bit odd... or warped...:o

Shall I get rid of it then - despite your kind assurance Danlisa?

What does it matter what other people think?

It's YOUR personal Signature. Just put what you want.:yep:

Besides, if/when something better comes along you can change it.

[She-Wolf]

I will see what reaction I get. If it doesn't amuse anyone else I shall out it and try to think of something more suitable to put in its place:D

[johnm]

She Wolf - leave it be.

I think it's funny when you read the pidgen german (as a non-german speaker).

Obviously when translated, the joke fails.

p.s. I original viewed using 'smart dark' (my default) and couldn't see the red writing. I changed to 'haylazblue' which let me read it easily.

much better than my sig:damn: :rotfl:

[bigboywooly]

:hmm:
Does that sig refer to your comp or you
:rotfl: :rotfl:

[johnm]

:hmm:
Does that sig refer to your comp or you
:rotfl: :rotfl:


supposed to be life. the universe and all that but I don't think it worked.

I'll have to do a rethink, I think!

[Jimbuna]

I consider myself to be a polyglot...but not in German ...so would someone be kind enough to translate it into English for me ? :hmm:

[She-Wolf]

Jimbuna! it isn't in German, it's pidgin-speak. English pretending to be German.... Attention! All eyes. This machine is not for poking the fingers in and grabbing hold of with the hands. It easily snaps the springworks, blows fuses, and pops its cork with spits and sparks. It is not to be worked on by idiots. The ones who come to crane their necks to see it, the sight seers, please keep hands in your pockets. Relax and watch the lamp blinking. Thank you

It was a joke sign above the latest equipment being designed for radar in a factory that produced radar equipment (post war)

that's it.. it is coming off :(:down::down::nope:

[bigboywooly]

:rotfl:
Leave it on
Its a talking point already

[Brag]

I found it funny -- something like from the Let's parler franglais :rotfl: :rotfl:

[Der Schatten]

I liked it! (Although it does sound alot like me when I try to speak German!)

[She-Wolf]

mmmnnnn,nnnsppnnffpahmm... grumble, grumble. I will leave it on until I can think of something better ( sniff),need to try a diff colour tho:shifty:

[Brag]

Leave it on -- I can read the yellow!! I think it's great. It shows personality, sense of humour and BlaupunktnichtschlafengeratforUbootsuchen. :|\\

[She-Wolf]

awww, thanks Brag ( hug).

I have tooken advice tonight and started a career!! Bit of a cheat really cos I am still wet behind the ears - but I feel like I am on a real adventure. It is night-time as I leave base, and I have to thread my way past all these boats, and I only have a day to reach my patrol area, which seems impossible - but, it is exciting because it will build and I will improve ( if my crew don't get fed up with me and feed me to the fishes).
Night-night now tho' need me beauty sleep.:D

ps er..Blaupunk..not...schlaf.... wheres me dictionary!

[baggygreen]

awww, thanks Brag ( hug).

I have tooken advice tonight and started a career!! Bit of a cheat really cos I am still wet behind the ears - but I feel like I am on a real adventure. It is night-time as I leave base, and I have to thread my way past all these boats, and I only have a day to reach my patrol area, which seems impossible - but, it is exciting because it will build and I will improve ( if my crew don't get fed up with me and feed me to the fishes).
Night-night now tho' need me beauty sleep.:D

ps er..Blaupunk..not...schlaf.... wheres me dictionary!:rotfl: :rotfl: I like it! keep it for sure!

As for your career, tell us details?! what mod, what year, what boat? keep us up to date m'dear

[robbo180265]

This has got to be one of the funniest threads I've read!

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

She-Wolf you must keep that sig Ive actually seen it before, made into an official German looking sign and it tickled me then.

[Jimbuna]

Jimbuna! it isn't in German, it's pidgin-speak. English pretending to be German.... Attention! All eyes. This machine is not for poking the fingers in and grabbing hold of with the hands. It easily snaps the springworks, blows fuses, and pops its cork with spits and sparks. It is not to be worked on by idiots. The ones who come to crane their necks to see it, the sight seers, please keep hands in your pockets. Relax and watch the lamp blinking. Thank you

It was a joke sign above the latest equipment being designed for radar in a factory that produced radar equipment (post war)

that's it.. it is coming off :(:down::down::nope:


Danke :up:

[She-Wolf]

:rotfl: :rotfl: I like it! keep it for sure!

As for your career, tell us details?! what mod, what year, what boat? keep us up to date m'dear

oh you are a lovely lot - I am so pleased to have found you and to be part of this community. Right. Details Baggy.

Actually I have a confession to make here, and you will ALL fall about laughing.

I had to start my career twice....

the first time, I looked at the map, looked at where I was (Kiel) and where I was supposed to go - some square way over the other side of the land, so, as I thought it must be the right thing to do, I plotted a line from where I was... to where I wanted to go... as the crow flies... and told my NO to follow that course.... there was shortly an almighty bang as my trusty boat slammed itself into the quayside....

:oops: oops....

so I started again.

I am in GWX, I think my boat is a Renown class. (?) and I have a full complement of crew on board. I think the year is 1935, and as I packed up to get some snooze last night I was threading my way out of the base amid a plethora of boats, subs and planes, and it was night. My crew seemd to be looking at me a bit doubtful, and I am sure I detected whisperings behind my back - but I hope they come to like me before too long:D

ps my hubs ( C-in C) says that PROVES that women can't read maps.:rotfl:

[She-Wolf]

Jimbuna pleased we are speaking the same language now :D
Sorry to have caused a blip.:roll:

[danlisa]

Actually I have a confession to make here, and you will ALL fall about laughing.

I had to start my career twice....

the first time, I looked at the map, looked at where I was (Kiel) and where I was supposed to go - some square way over the other side of the land, so, as I thought it must be the right thing to do, I plotted a line from where I was... to where I wanted to go... as the crow flies... and told my NO to follow that course.... there was shortly an almighty bang as my trusty boat slammed itself into the quayside....

:oops: oops....
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

so I started again.
Good Idea:up:


I am in GWX, I think my boat is a Renown class. (?)
Doubt it.;)

and as I packed up to get some snooze last night I was threading my way out of the base amid a plethora of boats, subs and planes, and it was night.
You may return to find boats on fire and running into the shoreline. Stock Bug.

My crew seemd to be looking at me a bit doubtful, and I am sure I detected whisperings behind my back - but I hope they come to like me before too long:D
The crew never has any respect for their Kaleun.:nope:

ps my hubs ( C-in C) says that PROVES that women can't read maps.:rotfl:
Ain't that the truth.:D

[kurtz]

[quote]I had to start my career twice....

the first time, I looked at the map, looked at where I was (Kiel) and where I was supposed to go - some square way over the other side of the land, so, as I thought it must be the right thing to do, I plotted a line from where I was... to where I wanted to go... as the crow flies... and told my NO to follow that course.... there was shortly an almighty bang as my trusty boat slammed itself into the quayside....

ps my hubs ( C-in C) says that PROVES that women can't read maps.:rotfl:

Do you try and turn the monitor round so your u-boat is always going to the top of the map, like Mrs Kurtz does in the car?:D

Seriously before you venture through the Kiel canal turn your max TC near land to x64 (there's a thread on how to do this) or it will take a fortnight!

Apologies to the immortals who only play TCx1

[She-Wolf]

the canal..... is that where I am? there is indeed a very long canal-like waterway that goes off to the left, but that comes out in the wrong place, so I am heading NNE in a crowded waterway which opens out, but has lots of land to get round before I can go west for my patrol area.... I will take another look tonight. In the meantime, if anyone wants a slightly bent sub, velly cheap, hardly used.....one not-so-careful owner....

[Jimbuna]

Jimbuna pleased we are speaking the same language now :D
Sorry to have caused a blip.:roll:

No apologies needed maam...the pleasures mine :p

[bigboywooly]

the canal..... is that where I am? there is indeed a very long canal-like waterway that goes off to the left, but that comes out in the wrong place,

Tis a great fuel saver the canal
Cuts days off your patrol time

so I am heading NNE in a crowded waterway which opens out, but has lots of land to get round before I can go west for my patrol area.

Ah I can picture it now
How can I not from such an accurate description
:rotfl:

Only J\K

[She-Wolf]

you tease me sir!

I have gone back in and turned the boat around ( it is a IIA btw, I said it was Renown to Baggy) and am now entering the canal. Hubs knew about the canal at Kiel too, so I am finally on the right road for sure. Now I just have to stay in the blue bits.... is it starboard to pass other vessels? Oh, and is there a night vison capability in the UZO binoculars - can't see a bloomin thing out there!

[bigboywooly]

you tease me sir!

I have gone back in and turned the boat around ( it is a IIA btw, I said it was Renown to Baggy) and am now entering the canal. Hubs knew about the canal at Kiel too, so I am finally on the right road for sure. Now I just have to stay in the blue bits.... is it starboard to pass other vessels? Oh, and is there a night vison capability in the UZO binoculars - can't see a bloomin thing out there!

Not often I get called Sir
Even by my own crew
:lol:

FYI
Before you leave the dock at Kiel
Click on your navigator then search patterns
Choose Kiel outbound
That will lay in a autoroute through the canal
Click on navigator again and resume course
Now your boat will follow the course out into the canal

If you use SH3Commander you can change the settings near land to something like 128
That way you can TC the canal faster

First time through its always nice to sail it
See the ports and bridges

[She-Wolf]

well... I did it, started into the canal. I couldn't go faster than 4 TC for most of that, so it took ages, and although I had plotted it all out with waymarks for the Navigator to follow, I had to steer the boat wide at one point, to avoid another boat, and then, when I asked the officer to resume the plotted course, he wanted to turn the boat round and go back to the last waypoint, so I had to navigate it all myself until we got to the other end - so that was that...

but we had a bit of disaster on the way because I must have been too close to the shore and suddenly there was an unhappy screeching sound and the wet stuff started getting in. The crew leapt into action and soon plugged the leaks, but when I asked the Chief to get us on our way again, he said he could not comply. Took me a little time to figure out what was wrong, but then surfaced the boat a bit higher and off we went again, so that was that....

then I discovered, when I went to check who needed a rest, that I had considerably less than a full crew. I thought I had enlisted the max, but that must have been on the first go, when I had a close encounter with the quay... Hmph. So that was that...

finally, having put a spurt on once I got into the North (?) Sea, and cranking TC up to 1024, I got to my patrol area, which I must work for 24 hours, only I won't be able to hurry home after, as I only have 10% diesel reserves left. Oh dear :oops: I should have pulled in to the last fuel depot I s'pose, and tanked up. It will be Christmas before we are back at Kiel if I can't go faster than 6 knots most of the way...

failure, that's what I am.:damn::rotfl:

What is the significance of renown please? Is it merit and experience grading or the successes chalked up to the sub and her crew as your career progresses?

[She-Wolf]

you tease me sir!

I have gone back in and turned the boat around ( it is a IIA btw, I said it was Renown to Baggy) and am now entering the canal. Hubs knew about the canal at Kiel too, so I am finally on the right road for sure. Now I just have to stay in the blue bits.... is it starboard to pass other vessels? Oh, and is there a night vison capability in the UZO binoculars - can't see a bloomin thing out there!
Not often I get called Sir
Even by my own crew
:lol:

FYI
Before you leave the dock at Kiel
Click on your navigator then search patterns
Choose Kiel outbound
That will lay in a autoroute through the canal
Click on navigator again and resume course
Now your boat will follow the course out into the canal

If you use SH3Commander you can change the settings near land to something like 128
That way you can TC the canal faster

First time through its always nice to sail it
See the ports and bridges

I did not see your post BB, so must have done it the hard way - but I did see the bridges, and the dawn, and the industrial buildings. I could almost smell the sea breeze.. I am exhausterpated now, so am going to get some zeds, I did not realise it would be such hard work being a submariner!

[robbo180265]

can I just say that you've done about as well as I did on my first patrol. It's a big learning curve and we have a massive advantage over the real U boats, in that we can re-boot and start again.

Keep trying She-wolf, you'll have it cracked in no time:up:

[She-Wolf]

thanks Robbo :)

[Jimbuna]

What is the significance of renown please? Is it merit and experience grading or the successes chalked up to the sub and her crew as your career progresses?

Renown is awarded to you in quantities/amounts deendant on what ships you sink and the level of realism you play at. You will need renown to upgrade your boat type and or equipment. :up:

[She-Wolf]

aahhh, thanks Jimbuna. Going to have my work cut out then - but, when you are at the bottom of the ladder, the only way is UP!:D

[melnibonian]

Going to have my work cut out then - but, when you are at the bottom of the ladder, the only way is UP!:D
That's the spirit:yep: Don't forget when we all started we had all sorts of problems, but soon enough we started bagging 100,000 tons per patrol;) It takes a bit of time but in the end you can and will be the Terror of the High Seas;) :up:

[She-Wolf]

Me - a terror?! :rotfl:Your faith in my abilities is to be valued, I will keep on keeping on, but I think, like horses that kick, I should have a warning flag affixed because I think I am probably more dangerous to the sub parked next door than any enemy ship on the high seas!:roll:

[melnibonian]

Me - a terror?! :rotfl:Your faith in my abilities is to be valued, I will keep on keeping on, but I think, like horses that kick, I should have a warning flag affixed because I think I am probably more dangerous to the sub parked next door than any enemy ship on the high seas!:roll:
That's what I used to say initially. Give it time and the Royal Navy will have you in their Most Wanted List;)

[She-Wolf]

:up: Thanks Mel.
I have just been 'boning up' ( funny expression that) on renown, crew management, U-boat types etc. Forgotten I had downloaded all those helpful guides. Pretty good though, I can just pick on the bits I need to know for now. So much to learn, but enjoyable with it. Going to study the compass bearings a bit next,when I get a moment, and the shortcut keys 'cos I should think speed is the essence in the middle of a fight.

[Miss Behavin]

oh dear, is it going to go down like a lead balloon? My boss didn't understand at either, and looked at me all peculiar like - it just tickles me. Perhaps I am a bit odd... or warped...:o

Shall I get rid of it then - despite your kind assurance Danlisa?

I loved it! Had the same little poster many years ago and taped it up over the copy machine.

Cheers!

[She-Wolf]

another lady! hello sister:D. Glad you liked it too. I am feeling maybe it can stay as I have had several positive responses- for a while anyway.

[kurtz]

[quote=bigboywoolyNot often I get called Sir
Even by my own crew
:lol:

FYI
Before you leave the dock at Kiel
Click on your navigator then search patterns
Choose Kiel outbound
That will lay in a autoroute through the canal
Click on navigator again and resume course
Now your boat will follow the course out into the canal

If you use SH3Commander you can change the settings near land to something like 128
That way you can TC the canal faster

First time through its always nice to sail it
See the ports and bridges[/quote]

:damn: Arghh! Why was I not told this???

I've been plotting millions of little flags along the kiel canal, seems I'm always learning, or perhaps I learnt it and forgot.

p.s. look out for the bridges I lost 2 patrols by having it on TCx256 and eating my dinner while the boat sank for the last time 3rd time I worked out what was happening, Uncle Karl was quite vexed!

[bigboywooly]

lol Kurtz
There is also a Kiel inbound route as well
Just before you enter the Kaiser-Wilhelm-Kanal from the Elbe end
Hit nav and Kiel inbound
resume course and away you go

[kurtz]

lol Kurtz
There is also a Kiel inbound route as well
Just before you enter the Kaiser-Wilhelm-Kanal from the Elbe end
Hit nav and Kiel inbound
resume course and away you go
Fantastic! was this in vanilla SHIII?

Actually I'm in Bernard denial the 3rd time through I navigated manually under the bridge then hit return to course forgetting that I had a nav point the otherside of the bridge I did a U turn and hit it again! this time I was in time to save the day and carried on with 79% hull integrity:damn:

[bigboywooly]

lol Kurtz
There is also a Kiel inbound route as well
Just before you enter the Kaiser-Wilhelm-Kanal from the Elbe end
Hit nav and Kiel inbound
resume course and away you go
Fantastic! was this in vanilla SHIII?

Actually I'm in Bernard denial the 3rd time through I navigated manually under the bridge then hit return to course forgetting that I had a nav point the otherside of the bridge I did a U turn and hit it again! this time I was in time to save the day and carried on with 79% hull integrity:damn:

LMAO
No it wasnt in stock SH3
The original Kiel autoroute was a great idea by the NYGM team

[Jimbuna]

lol Kurtz
There is also a Kiel inbound route as well
Just before you enter the Kaiser-Wilhelm-Kanal from the Elbe end
Hit nav and Kiel inbound
resume course and away you go
Fantastic! was this in vanilla SHIII?

Actually I'm in Bernard denial the 3rd time through I navigated manually under the bridge then hit return to course forgetting that I had a nav point the otherside of the bridge I did a U turn and hit it again! this time I was in time to save the day and carried on with 79% hull integrity:damn:

LMAO
No it wasnt in stock SH3
The original Kiel autoroute was a great idea by the NYGM team

Whatever happened to them :hmm: or NYGM for that matter :hmm: