dumb ideas thread

[Mooncatt]

ever had a really stupid idea while playing sh3 and got ya self killes/almost killed that you thought was rather amusing, post it here.......

[Corsair]

This is going to be a long thread...:D

[Dowly]

One of my stupidest things was when I was raiding some port (cant remember which one it was) and decided to surface. Of course, the coastal guns blew me to pieces in no time. ;)

[stabiz]

I had aquired a brand new shiny quad, and decided not to dive when some Beaufighters arrived. Stupid.

[Mooncatt]

i once tried to ram a passenger liner coz id used all my ammo and she didnt sink.........i did though after i hit her at 20knts:lol:

[Morts]

i once surfaced in loch ewe

got shot at from everywhere:rotfl:

[Jimbuna]

Once tried to leapfrog a sub net and become 'high n dry' :oops:

[Puster Bill]

I once decided to hug the Western coast of England/Scotland, entering into St. Georges channel, through the Irish Sea, out past the Mull of Kintyre, and then up through Sea of the Hebrides and through the Minch, exiting past Loch Ewe.

In 1943. :damn:

Needless to say, I didn't make it.

I'm doing it again now, in 1940. So far, much easier and much more lucrative. Just passed the Mull of Kintyre, and I am already out of eels. I may abort out to the Western approaches, then swing around the north to get back to Bill's haven.

[Corrupt_File]

The English Channel. Period.:shifty:

[JerM]

The English Channel. Period.:shifty:

yup, don't know how many times i tried to take the "fast easy way" to get to the med through that damn channel. always the same end result:nope:

[Dowly]

Once tried to leapfrog a sub net and become 'high n dry' :oops:

I love doing that! :rotfl:

[STEED]

Going for an emergency visit to the bathroom and forgetting to pause the game while under attack. :damn:

And when I get back :dead: that's another career blown away :hulk:

Then again I am not going to do you know what. ;)

[AVGWarhawk]

Well, once I hit one of my own merchants leaving port. Repaired the damaged and sailed on like it was nothing. I had to crash dive and at about 50m my boat imploded. I guess damage was more extensive. I should have just backed into my berth and repaired in the first place:shifty:

[Melonfish]

whilst playing with the keyboard i fired a torpedo. in dock.
sank a type 34.....

Oh the shame....

the funny thing was i hit the key then paused catching my breath. (cause it isn't instantanious) and for a fleeting moment i figured i may have just hit the hash key by accident. until the horrid Hiss and report "torpedo eins Los!"
by sheer bad luck two type 34's were ambling accross my path and it very nearly missed the first (but would have hit the second if it did) struck her in the rear and blew her clean out the water.
Boy was i popular.
i now use a key changer so you have to press Shift-Enter to fire a torpedo....
pete

[AVGWarhawk]

whilst playing with the keyboard i fired a torpedo. in dock.
sank a type 34.....

Oh the shame....

the funny thing was i hit the key then paused catching my breath. (cause it isn't instantanious) and for a fleeting moment i figured i may have just hit the hash key by accident. until the horrid Hiss and report "torpedo eins Los!"
by sheer bad luck two type 34's were ambling accross my path and it very nearly missed the first (but would have hit the second if it did) struck her in the rear and blew her clean out the water.
Boy was i popular.
i now use a key changer so you have to press Shift-Enter to fire a torpedo....
pete

BBBBBEEEERRRRNNNNAAARRRRDDDDDD!

[JU_88]

sailed underneath a sinking tanker, you guessed it - i went down with it the wreck bad timing or what.:-?

[High Voltage]

when i first started playing SH3, got into position to attack a convoy during the day, made sure everything was set up perfectly: AOB, distance to target, torpedo settings checked and counterchecked and tubes open...But i hadn't realized in the F6 screen that torpedo V would fire straight astern. :damn: This threw me off so completely that I misfired on all of my other shots!:oops:

Destroyers counterattack. I dive deep and get depth charged. Run out of options so surface to try desperation torpedo shot. Was running silent so no tubes reloaded. Sitting duck. Dead duck.

Decided to search for help in a SH3 Forum and found you guys here at subsim. :up:
Am no longer an embarassment to the Kriegsmarine.:know:

[mookiemookie]

Attacked a convoy in the channel that separates the Hebrides and Scotland. The water is only about 50m deep there. It wasn't so much the depth charges that got me at first...it was grounding myself in about 20 m of water, tearing out the bottom of my boat. The DD's just finished what the bottom started.

Man that was bad... :nope:

[Sailor Steve]

Wasn't in a career, but the first time I played the 'Bismarck' scenario I decided to take a look around and surfaced right next to Rodney.:dead:

[Mooncatt]

Wasn't in a career, but the first time I played the 'Bismarck' scenario I decided to take a look around and surfaced right next to Rodney.:dead:

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[AVGWarhawk]

Wasn't in a career, but the first time I played the 'Bismarck' scenario I decided to take a look around and surfaced right next to Rodney.:dead:

Who the hell put the deaf guy at the sonar station?????????????:o

[Iron Budokan]

Back in stock SH3 I torpedoed a C2 but she didn't go down. I surfaced at 0 knots about 50 m from the C2 and banged away at it with my flak guns (I was out of deck gun ammo.) Had a great time watching the cargo boxes explode and what not and raking the bridge with gunfire. What fun.

But while I was enjoying myself a DD came up from the other side of the C2 (which I couldn't see because I was on the opposite side). The DD steamed around the bow of the C2. My watch officer calls out that he sees a ship. No sh*t, Sherlock. The DD opens fire, blows my conning tower away and I plummet to crush depth.

Lesson learned: Watch the horizon.

[Sailor Steve]

Wasn't in a career, but the first time I played the 'Bismarck' scenario I decided to take a look around and surfaced right next to Rodney.:dead:

Who the hell put the deaf guy at the sonar station?????????????:o
There's a sonar station?????????????:damn: SHII's scenarios always started you far enough away that surfacing was the best option. Why would I think SHIII should be any different?

[Hartmann]

I forget the game running at Tc in an artic patrol when i return to home after several minutes i found my boat in the Ice cap :damn: .

i did some screenshots because is a place rarely visited :doh: i preffer caribbean patrols.

[Abd_von_Mumit]

Der Kanal... Dumbest thing ever.

The second dumbest was launching a spread of 4 steam torpedoes set to _fast_ at a convoy 6 kms away.

[Webchessie]

It's early 1943 and after watching "Casablanca" I decide to raid the port. Got in with no problems and used up all my available topedeos. . .

But wait! I have spares on the deck! So, being the fine commander that I am I surface next to a hulk (thanks to me) to reload.

Mistake. :roll: :roll: :roll:

[Jimbuna]

Once tried to leapfrog a sub net and become 'high n dry' :oops:

I love doing that! :rotfl:

I know....I've still got the screenshots somewhere :rotfl:

[andy_311]

Tried surfacing on 1024 TC but hit the "D" button by mistake :nope:

[Morts]

Tried surfacing on 1024 TC but hit the "D" button by mistake :nope:
oh crab (lol?):rotfl:

[Albrecht Von Hesse]

Not exactly a 'bad idea' per se, but . . .

Got ash-canned like no tomorrow: every compartment flooding to some degree.

Assigned damage control, shuffled crew around to the worst ones, then went back to the hydrophones, trying to manuever into the escorts blind spots.

Went, "WTF!?" when I heard the frantic cry of 'we are diving too deep Sir!'

Yep . . .

You guessed it . . .

Was still in silent running.

::sighs::

[Blacklight]

I was in dock starting my new career.... without doing any training or reading the manual of course:nope: .. heck.. I play Dangerous Waters, Sub Command and 688I Hunterkiller ! How hard could THIS sim be to figure out ! It's OLD technology:nope: :nope: . I had the subtitles on and the voices in German... I ordered ahead standard out of the dock and immediately went to check my orders and check the destination rout on the map. Unfortunately, I had accidentally clicked on emergency reverse without reading what the crew were saying... I hear this "CRASH !!!" and it turns out that I had smashed into the back of the dock. I corrected the problem.. but messed up the directions... IE.. wasn't useing the Rudder control, just compas... and ended up scraping down the side of the dock making a loud metal scraping sound... then when I finally made it out into the Wilhelmshaven harbor, I managed to make my left turn fine and headed northeast following the land....and smashed my boat into the shallow area near the shore.

After that.. I read the manual. You would think that would be the end of my troubles.. but no....

I had just had a totally non-successful crappy patrol. Weather was horrible the whole trip... ran into a convoy... wasted all my torpedoes on it without a single hit... got depth charged all to hell and barely escaped with me and my crew's lives... The sub is damaged all to hell with pretty much unrepairable damage... We go limping back to port.. and as I pull into the slip at the base.... I come in a little too fast... I gently tap the end of the dock with the nose of the sub.. and the sub explodes and sinks:o ... all hands lost.:nope:

This thread should be renammed "Tales of Bernard"

[Iron Budokan]

LOL, oh man that is pretty bad! :lol:

[Ole]

i once spotted a convoy when my brother called me on skype. i switched to desktop, talked to him and after one hour i switched bak to sh3. they were all gone cause the game was still running in the background :stare:

[Albrecht Von Hesse]

I was in dock starting my new career.... without doing any training or reading the manual of course:nope: .. heck.. I play Dangerous Waters, Sub Command and 688I Hunterkiller ! How hard could THIS sim be to figure out ! It's OLD technology:nope: :nope: . I had the subtitles on and the voices in German... I ordered ahead standard out of the dock and immediately went to check my orders and check the destination rout on the map. Unfortunately, I had accidentally clicked on emergency reverse without reading what the crew were saying... I hear this "CRASH !!!" and it turns out that I had smashed into the back of the dock. I corrected the problem.. but messed up the directions... IE.. wasn't useing the Rudder control, just compas... and ended up scraping down the side of the dock making a loud metal scraping sound... then when I finally made it out into the Wilhelmshaven harbor, I managed to make my left turn fine and headed northeast following the land....and smashed my boat into the shallow area near the shore.

After that.. I read the manual. You would think that would be the end of my troubles.. but no....

I had just had a totally non-successful crappy patrol. Weather was horrible the whole trip... ran into a convoy... wasted all my torpedoes on it without a single hit... got depth charged all to hell and barely escaped with me and my crew's lives... The sub is damaged all to hell with pretty much unrepairable damage... We go limping back to port.. and as I pull into the slip at the base.... I come in a little too fast... I gently tap the end of the dock with the nose of the sub.. and the sub explodes and sinks:o ... all hands lost.:nope:

This thread should be renammed "Tales of Bernard"

Oh Lord! I'm torn between laughing and sympathy!

[Gezoes]

Once I was limping home to Lorient when I was jumped by planes. It had been a very succesfull patrol and I paid for it too.

Almost there... bzzz bzzz.... crap. Dive! Sure thing, I dived very fast after I imploded at 20 meters or so with only 6% hull integrity :huh::rotfl:

[Morts]

well if i had to post all of my dumb ideas id get like 100 pages because normally every idea i get is a dumb idea:rotfl:
like a surface in loch ewe or attacking a task force on the surface with the flak and deck gun:arrgh!: :rotfl:

[jasonsagert]

I guess it wasn't soo much a bad idea as just being stupid--what's the difference?

I attacked a convoy submerged--I think it was in the AK grid. Calm sea, early morning. So I don't get very close and let loose my four bow torps. They were TI's and I let them go from aways off. As soon as I let them loose, I turned away and stayed at periscope depth. After a long time--*Bam...Bam... "Alright", I'm thinking. I check what the DD is doing on the side of the convoy from which I attacked. Yep, he's heading towards me... but damn, I'm like 6 k from the convoy now. He won't come this far, right? So I start uping the TC----Oh crap! That DD is getting all up on me! I drop the TC. I go to silent running and start diving--to late. He dropped a pattern over me that brought up the screen we all fear.

I really didn't even think he knew where I was. I guess he did. Leason learned.

J

[AVGWarhawk]

I was in dock starting my new career.... without doing any training or reading the manual of course:nope: .. heck.. I play Dangerous Waters, Sub Command and 688I Hunterkiller ! How hard could THIS sim be to figure out ! It's OLD technology:nope: :nope: . I had the subtitles on and the voices in German... I ordered ahead standard out of the dock and immediately went to check my orders and check the destination rout on the map. Unfortunately, I had accidentally clicked on emergency reverse without reading what the crew were saying... I hear this "CRASH !!!" and it turns out that I had smashed into the back of the dock. I corrected the problem.. but messed up the directions... IE.. wasn't useing the Rudder control, just compas... and ended up scraping down the side of the dock making a loud metal scraping sound... then when I finally made it out into the Wilhelmshaven harbor, I managed to make my left turn fine and headed northeast following the land....and smashed my boat into the shallow area near the shore.

After that.. I read the manual. You would think that would be the end of my troubles.. but no....

I had just had a totally non-successful crappy patrol. Weather was horrible the whole trip... ran into a convoy... wasted all my torpedoes on it without a single hit... got depth charged all to hell and barely escaped with me and my crew's lives... The sub is damaged all to hell with pretty much unrepairable damage... We go limping back to port.. and as I pull into the slip at the base.... I come in a little too fast... I gently tap the end of the dock with the nose of the sub.. and the sub explodes and sinks:o ... all hands lost.:nope:

This thread should be renammed "Tales of Bernard"

Oh Lord! I'm torn between laughing and sympathy!


This is so totally Bernard if I have every seen one:rotfl: My God! Why Doenitz did not yank the entire crew off the boat by their ears is beyond me.:rotfl: Bunch of barnicle scrappers if you ask me:rotfl:

[Brag]

Calm weather, a merchie escorted by an armed tug. Easy targets :88), yeah? I surface and order deck gun to fire at tug's weapons.

Tug blasted at me, killed watch officer & flack gunner. Damaged my boat badly. Had to dive and then limp home not daring to dive beyond pero depth.:nope:

[Hakahura]

Middle of nowhere, no torps and no ammo. A half sunk tanker, I wanted to finish him off to get the renown, what to do ?

Parked myself over his half sunken midsection, dead stop and dived. Thought I could force him under. Wrong, not with only 22% hull integrity left.

And so begun a new career.:rotfl:

[Abd_von_Mumit]

Middle of nowhere, no torps and no ammo. A half sunk tanker, I wanted to finish him off to get the renown, what to do ?

Parked myself over his half sunken midsection, dead stop and dived. Thought I could force him under. Wrong, not with only 22% hull integrity left.

And so begun a new career.:rotfl:
But the idea itself was astonishing! Wow! Now I see what "creativeness" means! :rotfl:

[Sheerin]

While on the way back to base in an old VIIB, i came across a small convoy at the mouth of the English Channel that was being escorted by only Armed Trawlers and one Flower. I set up my attack and was able to sink 2 C2s and a small merchant. Unforutnately for me the only thing that wasn't ideal was the depth of the water (only around 80 metres). So I dived to around 50 metres and lurked around at 1 knot on silent running. Somehow a couple of the escorts figured out where I was and proceeded to DC the area I was in. Thankfully none of the DCs were close enough to do real damage and continued to evade. Here is where I started getting stupid. Since I began playing this game I was always wondered if escorts could tell the difference between a bottomed boat and the sea floor. So I put it to test and nestled comfortably on the bottom. 2 hours past and I was safe. It seemed to have worked.

another hour passes and my SO reports that there are no contacts in range. So waiting another hour (with tc at about 126) I went ot the nav map and plotted my escape. My only real mistake was hitting the rught mouse button before decreasing my depth. All of sudden the game went wild, with screeching sounds and the crew yelling at me that I was taking damage. Unforutnately before i could order an emergency blow the majority of the ship was flooded and my crew and I died a horrible death 80 metres down

[Lzs von swe]

After attacking an convoy west of the Rockals I regrouped to the east to attack again. Got detected by a Hunt 1 when I fired a nice spread of four T1´s. He was some 2km. away so no big panic, standard speed and dive to... bang, screech, flooding and men dying. I had run my bow firmly into the Rockals at some 20m. depth, the stern almost sticking out of the water. That Hunt 1 got an easy kill:damn:
Allways know where you are, allways kno... :oops:

[Falcon666]

After sinking an Armed Trawler and a Hunt I at Freetown, the port's onlt protection, figured that surfacing in the middle of the harbour and putting the Deck Gun to use wouldn't be a problem... I was wrong. I hadn't looked around properly, so I surfaced and practically every merchant at Freetown opened fire on me. I hadn't even noticed that they had guns!

[codmander]

any of mine well due :) high on drugs doc got me medicated to the max :doh:

[Sheerin]

After attacking an convoy west of the Rockals I regrouped to the east to attack again. Got detected by a Hunt 1 when I fired a nice spread of four T1´s. He was some 2km. away so no big panic, standard speed and dive to... bang, screech, flooding and men dying. I had run my bow firmly into the Rockals at some 20m. depth, the stern almost sticking out of the water. That Hunt 1 got an easy kill:damn:
Allways know where you are, allways kno... :oops:

you wasted 4 eels on a hunt I destroyer?!?!

[Lzs von swe]

No, they where fired on the convoy.

[Sheerin]

lol, yeah, i misread that and thought you meant you fired 4 eels at a Hunt 1 from a distance of 2000metres.

Of course that would be fitting for this thread.

[Mooncatt]

im glad i created this thread there are some right howlers :rotfl: given me quite a few laughs

[Jimbuna]

im glad i created this thread there are some right howlers :rotfl: given me quite a few laughs

You'd better believe it!!...not all kaleuns were Prien or Luth 'class' :yep: :lol: