You know you've watched too many sub movies when..

[Kapitan_Phillips]

1) You stand aside poles and exclaim "Up Periscope"
2) You actually expect the pole to move after this
3) Canteen food is consumed as it would be aboard a U-Boat - mushed up and eaten at speed
4) The fire alarm startles you, and you run to the end of the nearest corridor when it sounds, as the weight of the building must be shifted in order to dive
5) You address your friends as officers aboard your boat, such as Chief and 1WO
6) You compute firing solutions when watching ships from the beach
7) Thunder = Depth Charges
8) You sit in the corner, once across the room with the binoculars, then again with the naked eye
9) You report sightings of people whilst doing this and attempt to identify them
10) You pull up alongside ice cream trucks and state that under Prize Rules, this vessel will be sunk after offloading of 50 choc ices
11) You stand onboard a ferry and watch for torpedo trails
12) You stand onboard a ferry and demand to know where the sonar suite is. Kretschmer could be watching
13) You salute passenger ship crewmembers and bore them with rhetoric about that 'fat slob' Goering and the absence of patrol planes
14) Grey skies and drizzle is 'proper submarine weather'
15) When watching shipping in port, you say "UZO auf brucke" and prepare to attack
16) You know exactly which Kriegsmarine grid you are in right now, and which grid square your destination is whilst travelling
17) You give engine orders to your car
18) You yell "Alarm" when the phone rings
19) Exam halls are merely rooms that are rigged for silent running
20) Your car stereo has a fully stocked music library. "Greatest hits from 1941"

Made these up, I bet a few have been mentioned before though :arrgh!:

[Polak]

1) You stand aside poles and exclaim "Up Periscope"
2) You actually expect the pole to move after this

Please, stop with the Polish jokes. :-j

[Kapitan_Phillips]

1) You stand aside poles and exclaim "Up Periscope"
2) You actually expect the pole to move after this

Please, stop with the Polish jokes. :-j


:rotfl: :rotfl: And since when am I 'Napisa' cubed? :rotfl:

[TteFAboB]

1) You stand aside poles and exclaim "Up Periscope"
2) You actually expect the pole to move after this
4) The fire alarm startles you, and you run to the end of the nearest corridor when it sounds, as the weight of the building must be shifted in order to dive
6) You compute firing solutions when watching ships from the beach
11) You stand onboard a ferry and watch for torpedo trails
14) Grey skies and drizzle is 'proper submarine weather'
16) You know exactly which Kriegsmarine grid you are in right now, and which grid square your destination is whilst travelling
17) You give engine orders to your car
18) You yell "Alarm" when the phone rings
19) Exam halls are merely rooms that are rigged for silent running
20) Your car stereo has a fully stocked music library. "Greatest hits from 1941"

You're good. :up:

[Letum]

21) You sleep on a bookshelf in a corridor. One of the book shelf's legs is short so it wobbles around a lot.
22) You have a beard that you shave off every 4 weeks.
23) Your I-Pod is full of 1930s French music.
24) Your worried about U-227 and U-322 and U-1802 and U-2767 and U-765 and U-298......etc....etc..... Because you haven't heard anything on the radio about them for ages.
25) You masturbate to pictures of darkened cruise-liners traveling at 5knts.
26) You call your old man "Klauen".
27) You hide under your bed every time you hear a aeroplane.
28) You report propeller noises ever time your neighbor uses her electric whisk.

[Melonfish]

29) you use your second toilet as an ad-hoc pantry, storing items like sausage etc by hanging them from the light fittings.
30) Your sneaking skills would put a ninja to shame, you can sneak in to a military base on your fingertips and toes and back out again at 1 kt all the while making less noise then a mouse passing wind.
31) you walk into subway and order 4 "torpedo's" you expect them to be bagged and ready within 5 minutes, you shout at them for encouragement!
32) whilst at the seaside or in port your calculate firing solutions on the biggest fatest ships you see; range est 900, aob 120 port etc...
33) you've been to a u-boat museum more then once.
34) whilst at the museum you continually ask the manager if you can scream AAALAAAAAAAAAARM! at the top of your lungs down the main hatch.

pete

[Enigma]

-Someone knocks on the door and you "Rig for Red".

-You put your car in neutral and coast down hills, while explaing to your passengers that you just "engaged for silent drive"

-When a passanger in a car, you begin the journey by yelling at the driver: "Cheif of the watch, pass the word on the 1sq, Drive! Drive!"

- Your daughters stereo may only be activated by both you and your spouses Missile key.

- You make lists, just like this one. :doh: :lol:

Speaking of submarine movies, I just noticed in U-571, the captain refers to his XO as a good "Submareeener." As opposed to, of course, "Sub-Mah-rin-er.)

[AVGWarhawk]

You take your kids to the eye and ear doctors to determine who will work the sonar and who will be on watch. Maybe they can multitask:up:

You ask your wife if she can come up with great recipies for rotten food and moldy bread.

[Oberon]

- You answer your boss with: "Ja wohl Herr Kaleun!"

- You can hear mechanical noises a lot clearer than natural noises.

- Whenever a helicopter or aeroplane flies overhead, you want to crawl away somewhere and hide.


The most worrying thing is, I can identify with the above, and several of the posts above mine, particularly with the checking out boats with AOB, TTI...I saw what I suspect was a small corvette chugging up the coastline the other day, just on the horizon....damn I so wanted a UZO or a pair of Zeiss binoculars then!!
I also exclaim "ALARM!" when something rings or the fire alarm goes off at work, or occasionally mutter "Ship spotted." or "Aircraft spotted." in German whenever I see either one. :oops:

[STEED]

1) 18) You yell "Alarm" when the phone rings


Not true. :down: Fire alarm on the other hand. :yep:

PS: I should know. :oops:

[sonar732]

You explain to the sonogram operator the fine tune abilities of a sonograph used to see your kid in the belly of your significant other and start tapping your fingers together for a TPK on the heartbeat.:rotfl::rotfl: ;):know:

[Morts]

when you hear some sort of ringing (like the crash dive ringing) you yell "AAALLLAAAAAAAAAAARM" followed by a "SHUT UP, OR ELSE!!!"