Help me get out of jury-duty!

[nikimcbee]

I got roped into jury-duty on Nov 7th:damn: Since this is the left-coast, here's plan plan of attack: Wear my USS Texas Battleship shirt, my USS Cavalla hat, and bring either a book in Russian to read, or a book about WW2 German. IE my book on Tiger Tanks, U-boats, or something totally German:D . All the pacifist lefty types will freak out and send me home:hmm: .

Any ideas?

[The Avon Lady]

"Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races."
- Homer Simpson

[nikimcbee]

"Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races."
- Homer Simpson

I would, but then they would arrest me for not having PC thoughts:dead: .

[Kapitan]

Go to the docs give him a nikker and ask him to write a sick note for you.

[mog]

Just say you are prejudiced against the police. As an anarchist, you are morally offended by the existence of a repressive institution that strips rights from citizens, and could not possibly take the word of people whose career is ratting on their fellow man.

Of course, you'll leave the court house with an FBI file to your name, but who cares?

[XabbaRus]

I think you should do your duty. If you are able you should do it.

Unless youhave a valid reason.

[waste gate]

Ask if the court will be explaining jury nullification to the jurers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jury_nullification

http://www.law.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/zenger/nullification.html

http://www.greenmac.com/eagle/ISSUES/ISSUE23-9/07JuryNullification.html

[sonar732]

Playing along with the joke...

Guilty...I say they're guilty! What, the trial hasn't even started? :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[SmithN23]

Depending on the case, it could be interesting to sit in on it and see how the system works, but if all that sounds boring to you, you could say that you have a test coming up in school that you can't miss (I am guessing that you are in school). If your not in school just tell them that you feel that you could not be unbiased in the case and they will kick you out.

[STEED]

Not knowing the country your from nikimcbee, I can only speak for England. Turn up in a nice suite and start saying things like this is a waste of time if I had my way the person would be hanging at the end of the rope, and this one the person's guilty lock them up. And here is the key thing say it in front of the defence council, they will have you deselected faster than a fart out of a Rhino. I know this has worked for three people over the years.

[StdDev]

You mentioned the "Left Coast"..?
Here in Kalifornia the law is "One day or one trial".
If yoiu get called on a panel of prospective jurors and are eliminated/dismissed for any reason.. back to the juror pool with ya!
So.. you are gunna spend a minimum of one day furiously waiting... waiting for anything to happen... waiting.. tic..... toc...........tic...............toc............... .....tic.......... PLEASE SOMEONE FAKE AN EPILEPTIC SEAZURE... ANYTHING!!!! :damn:

Just pray that there are some local restaurants to eat at otherwise come lunch time you will be introduced to the "$6 Court House Hot Dog and the $2.50 Coke" :arrgh!:

The only redeeming quality of jury duty is.. next time you go to the dentist for root canal, you will be able to think back on your jury experience and realize that "it could be worse!!"

[nikimcbee]

You mentioned the "Left Coast"..?
Here in Kalifornia the law is "One day or one trial".
If yoiu get called on a panel of prospective jurors and are eliminated/dismissed for any reason.. back to the juror pool with ya!
So.. you are gunna spend a minimum of one day furiously waiting... waiting for anything to happen... waiting.. tic..... toc...........tic...............toc............... .....tic.......... PLEASE SOMEONE FAKE AN EPILEPTIC SEAZURE... ANYTHING!!!! :damn:

Just pray that there are some local restaurants to eat at otherwise come lunch time you will be introduced to the "$6 Court House Hot Dog and the $2.50 Coke" :arrgh!:

The only redeeming quality of jury duty is.. next time you go to the dentist for root canal, you will be able to think back on your jury experience and realize that "it could be worse!!"

That was my last last jury experience!:damn: I went straight from work (12 hours night shift:dead: ) to jury duty. ...Then fell asleep at a table. They were going to put the trial off till after 2pm:dead: . Then the judge changed his mind and they started at 10:30 am. When they were "trimming" the jury pool down, one guy went on a diatribe on how he thought drugs should be legal:dead: . He went straight to the door:up: . So I got an idea:hmm: . By the time they got to me, they had their pool, so they sent everybody home.:rock: Maybe I'll need a translator;) Serbian would be good, maybe Bulgarian...Good thing I know my slavic languages. Do they let you bring laptops? And I will be doing my civic duty that day, I'll be voting.

[SUBMAN1]

I got roped into jury-duty on Nov 7th:damn: Since this is the left-coast, here's plan plan of attack: Wear my USS Texas Battleship shirt, my USS Cavalla hat, and bring either a book in Russian to read, or a book about WW2 German. IE my book on Tiger Tanks, U-boats, or something totally German:D . All the pacifist lefty types will freak out and send me home:hmm: .

Any ideas?

Do your duty. You'll like it anyway and remember it for a long time to come.

Trust me - yours is not as bad as mine - someone hated me when I had to do it way back when. They picked me on my 21st birthday so I couldn't even go out and drink / party etc. on my 21st birthday!!! I did get selected for 2 jury's though and I found it interesting.

-S

[Ishmael]

Five words: I believe in Islamic Law.

[FUBAR295]

Tell them "I believe in the death penalty for parking tickets".:up:

[tycho102]

I think you should do your duty. If you are able you should do it.

Unless youhave a valid reason.

This is true to some extent.

The problem I have with jury duty is the f*cking questions the defense can ask you.

Are you a homosexual?
Have you smoked pot within the past 30 days? If so, how much?
Do you have HIV or AIDS?
Have you ever been to Mexico for personal reasons?
Have you ever been fired by an employer for tardiness?
Have any of your siblings ever been in prison?
Were your parents married when you were conceived?
What was your taxable gross income during the last year?
What are the current limits of all credit cards you own?
Do you currently own any firearms, and if so, which makes and models?
Have you ever taken a polygraph for employment?
Where were you stationed in the military?
Are you presently in a sexual relationship with someone?
Have you ever paid for a hooker?
Do you participate in internet forums?
Which forums and what are your handles?

I can keep going on these questions. Crap like have you ever stolen cable television, bought pseudoephedrine for someone other than yourself, downloaded commerical movies on the internet.

et cetra. et cetra. et cetra.

What's more, if you start pleading the "fifth amendment", a judge can tell you that the 5th doesn't apply to that question, and hold you in contempt if you feel otherwise. The charge might very well be dropped, but you'll spend 36 hours in jail for refusal to self-incriminate (or otherwise refuse to give personal information).

I have a problem with the questions posed to prospective jurors. This varies with jurisdiction, and some judges will strike questions, but it's an issue. Plus the media. Christ forbid you get an OJ case, or some other high profile case. CNN, NYT, LAT, USAT, Newsweek...every last one of them is privy to identifiable information. Damn near to the point of identity theft. You also have to be careful if you roll into court and start saying things that are likely to get you removed from the pool (you can imagine some, because I'll not post that stuff here). There's that little "contempt" thing again, and a judge can slap that on you just to cause you inconvience.

[Ducimus]

Ask if the court will be explaining jury nullification to the jurers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jury_nullification

http://www.law.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/zenger/nullification.html

http://www.greenmac.com/eagle/ISSUES/ISSUE23-9/07JuryNullification.html


I was about to say something along those lines. Jury nullification is something they don't tell you about, and don't want you to know. Get out of jury duty, sound intelligent and not make up an excuse that makes you look like an ass to do it :P

[nikimcbee]

Ask if the court will be explaining jury nullification to the jurers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jury_nullification

http://www.law.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/zenger/nullification.html

http://www.greenmac.com/eagle/ISSUES/ISSUE23-9/07JuryNullification.html


I was about to say something along those lines. Jury nullification is something they don't tell you about, and don't want you to know. Get out of jury duty, sound intelligent and not make up an excuse that makes you look like an ass to do it :P

I agree. You know, maybe I'll get lucky and get an eco-terrorist trial. Now that would be fun! Guilty! The sentance: Work at a logging company for 5 years, and 5 years of listening to Rush! They will wear a fur jumpsuit and eat steak every night.:rock: . I don't think I survive the thinning process. I know law inforcement, I have zero tolerence for drug usage and DUI/DWI. That's most of the cases right there. I just don't want the process to get dragged out all day:dead: . Besides I'd rather be a productive citizen by working, even though this is on my day off:damn:

[nikimcbee]

Ask if the court will be explaining jury nullification to the jurers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jury_nullification

http://www.law.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/zenger/nullification.html

http://www.greenmac.com/eagle/ISSUES/ISSUE23-9/07JuryNullification.html

Maybe I'll bring a legal dictionary. I hear they freak out when you do that.:hmm: That would be interesting. Sir, can you explain jury nullification to me.:cool:

[UglyMowgli]

Just say you are posting at subsim:).
Personnaly I thnk you should do your duty, people always commplain about everything in this world and when they ca do their duty, nobody. Go maybe you will encouter your future wife or other submariner's fans.

[nikimcbee]

Better yet, which of these shirts should I wear:
http://www.thoseshirts.com/

Getting popcorn now.:cool:

[kiwi_2005]

Arrive to court in a harley with bikie leathers on and the words "Filthy Few" as your patch emblem. Having a ZZ Top beard with dark sunnies and the words F**K You written across your chest will get you kicked out. :lol:

[ASWnut101]

kiwi, it almost sounds as if you know that from experience.:hmm:

[kiwi_2005]

kiwi, it almost sounds as if you know that from experience.:hmm:

Ahh yes in my younger days use to own a Nortons motorcycle and ride with some biker friends but we weren't a gang just a group of "Riders in the Wind":cool: Lots of fun & good times back then i do miss it, nothing but freedom and not a care in the world. Have done trips around the whole of New Zealand in my nortons back then (NZ is just two small islands) But remeber one rider we called Tiny because he was huge and mean looking wearing a simular T shirt i mention above, yet wouldn't hurt a soul "Unless" You were cruel to animals then you were marked for life. He had more time for animals than ppl, if he saw someone kicking a dog, he went apesh*t.:rotfl:

[waste gate]

Always remember the first three words of the constitution, 'We the people...'.
Not we the courts or we the legislature.

When they ask if you can be impartal; tell them you will 'judge the case both on the evidence and the merrit of the law'. They will get your meaning.

[Safe-Keeper]

Am I the only one who's uneasy about people with no education on the matter playing jurors anyway? Would you be confident if your computer technician really worked in a day-care centre and was to fix your computer just because he had to?

Five words: I believe in Islamic Law."Your Honour, the defendant's acts are inconsistent with Sharia. I must ask for his beheading".

That'll work:p.

[nikimcbee]

My plan didn't work...and I got stuck on grand jury duty:oops:

It was actually pretty interesting. By my third day, I was in the gun shop looking at hand guns. It's all meth, heroin, and transient on transient violence. I have two thoughts: 1. I can only imagine what a real city is like (mafia crime, real drug lords, etc) 2. Eugene OR is a scummy city.:dead:

[Melonfish]

heh, i'm 27 and i've never once been picked for jury duty.

*checks mail in wierd sods law moment*

no, still not been picked...

meh. i wanna get sommat good too!
pete

[STEED]

heh, i'm 27 and i've never once been picked for jury duty.

*checks mail in wierd sods law moment*

no, still not been picked...

meh. i wanna get sommat good too!
pete

Plenty of time to be called up. ;)

[U-533]

I live in Florida. All you have to do here is act as though you are paying attention to all that is going on around you. ie...watch the man picking his nose, watch the woman snoring 2 rows in front of you, watch the dude reading a book, watch the fat woman sneaking bites of something, watch the people who smoke cigarettes slowly going nuts, watch the homosexual watching you,...the list is endless...anyway each time you watch something for a few seconds then roll your eyes like your disgusted with anyone who doesn't want to do jury duty.

Now when asked a question answer clearly and speak loud enough for all to hear.ie. ...When asked if you are able to persuade others to your opinion cup one hand over your mouth lightly and raise the other toward the person asking(usually an attorney) move it in very small circles then speak through your cupped hand in a low resonating voice(try to sound like Darth Vader)"I do not believe you will pick me" (also add here the mechanical breathing noise of Darth Vader)

OOPS...I gotta go to work seeya!

[ABBAFAN]

How interesting im doing such public service right now.i got extra RFA leave for it hahaha!