International Edition | 
powered by Yahoo!
3:11 a.m. EST (0911 GMT) April 1, 2005  


Bush takes on the terrorists in his leisure time with computer game

"The war of terrorism is real, very real, and I feel the American people are with me on this," say President Bush, while guiding a Seawolf class submarine in for a kill. The former Texas National Guardsman never served in the Navy but since the release of a new combat simulation, "Dangerous Waters", he seems to have found his taste for sea battles. The game, by US Navy contractor Sonalysts, Inc. (Waterford, Conn.), allows a player to command a virtual cruiser, submarine or helicopter and take on the bad guys in a 3D ocean setting.

"Colin Powell tells me this is the most realistic game you can get." He pauses the game to take a call from the Estonian President Arnold Ruutel. After a few hurried comments, he is off the phone and back on the game. "See those boys in that Russian sub? Those are terrorists. I don't know where they got a Russian sub, probably bought it on the black market. The roots of democracy haven't taken root in Russia yet and they  are hard up for cash, they'll sell anything."

The president's desk has several laptops and a desktop spread across it. He swivels to another screen and works the broadband sonar. Small beads of sweat form on his brow and his tongue pauses in the corner of his mouth in concentration. The phone rings again but goes unanswered.

"Watch this," he says, clicking the mouse on a flat screen panel that represents a nuclear sub's weapons system. "I may not know how to say nu-clar, but I know how to launch them." He reaches across the desk and presses a formidable red button. "Heh heh," he chuckles, "I just fired off 10 megatons of "make my day" at those evil-doers."

At this point a host of CIA and State Department officials rush into the Oval Office announcing that a spy satellite has detected an underwater nuclear launch event. The President looks slightly confused but only momentarily. He asks if the NSA has determined the missile's target. A senior chief of staff declares solemly, "Canada, sir." Bush pauses, whispers an aside to Condi Rice, "That's a Blue state, right?" Stonefaced, she nods. Bush's characteristic poise returns. He motions to the screen. "Wait 'till you see this game's graphics, great stuff."

more videos
Ecosystems in peril
premium content  PLAY VIDEO
 CNN/Money: Software giant targets 'phishing' schemes
SH3 sales spectacular' | premium content video
 AS happy with SH3 -- after 7 years
 Microsoft boosts server software security
 Most gamers know where best website is




April fool!
Subsim Review