This is the comment thread!

[Von Due]

From the Beeb

Fans celebrating goals are being turned into criminals because of a "narrative that all football fans are scum, thugs", a supporters' group says.

And if this message isn't clear enough we will kick it into your skulls. Peace. Millwall Support... I guess.

[Jimbuna]

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

[Jimbuna]

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

[Jimbuna]

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

[Jimbuna]

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

[Jimbuna]

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

[Jimbuna]

He who laughs last didn't get it.

[Jimbuna]

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

[Jimbuna]

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

[Von Due]

Famous last words from customers: "You don't have time. I do so it's my time I'm spending, not yours".

[Jimbuna]

The road to success is always under construction.

[Jimbuna]

I've learned so much from my mistakes, I'm thinking of making a few more.

[Jimbuna]

I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

[Jimbuna]

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

[Von Due]

First of April: The only day of the year that people critically evaluate things they read on the Internet... before accepting it as facts.