The Movie Thread

[Moonlight]

Lucy:
Another blonde bimbo review and this time its Scarlett Johansson in Lucy, I liked this film because there are only two plot lines to it and that is to kill or survive, and our heroinne at the start of the film is just trying to survive.
Its an action-thriller that tracks a woman who is innocently involved in a drug deal which turns sour, after getting a slap and a kicking from a thug she absorbs a lot of this powerful drug into her body which transforms her into a merciless killer who starts to evolve beyond all human logic.

Lucy:
The Dumbest Movie Ever Made About Brain Capacity, these are just a few of the negative words about this film I've read, I have no doubt that some of you will agree with them after watching it as well.
Well I don't give a monkeys hoot about what the reviewer states as "it simply defies conventional analysis" you're missing the bleeding point Mr reviewer, I don't want to bloody analyse a film I want to be entertained by it you daft pillock and that's why I decided to watch it.

Worth watching rating, 7 out a 10.

[Jimbuna]

[STEED]

At last I have watched Alien Covenant and what a stinker it was. I just could not give a dam about the crew who were bunch of wet washouts. I was hoping they were all killed in the first five minutes what a shame that did not happen.

THIS SECTION HAS SOME STORY LINE INFORMATION YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCH IT.


I sat though this stinking mess of a film to find out David created the ALIEN! Bollocks, sorry had to be said. Did you see the size of those eggs! Hang on the Alien eggs are laid by a Queen Alien which clearly just got kicked up its butt..if they got one, roll over bitch dave is here! No I am not buying it at all, as for the new Alien's come off it, something that big bursting its way out would have killed its host before making its grand bloody entrance.

Back to David having a chin wag with one of the new Aliens oh come off it, clearly like the classic Alien it's a killing machine. And later on he's at it again with the classic Alien with some different looks. David thinks hes so dam special and top of the pecking order why play at Frankenstein, whats his goal? Wipe out the human race with a army of rampaging Aliens that will suck up to him?

The story line in places was a right dam mess and you had to be out shopping not to see those poor sods David wiped out were not engineers.

There are a number of other things but I just have to stop I am getting heated under the collar and I hear Mr Barking Mad Scott wants to make four more! Please no no no no....


I say forget it, but if you like a silly blood fest with a dreadful story line and a bunch of farts knock your self out and go for it.

UPDATE
From a one star reviewer on amazon uk

Ship carrying crew in stasis in deep-space - check
Awoken unexpectedly - check
Unexplained signal from uncharted planet - check
Go and take a look? - check
Drop ship to the surface (through bad weather) - check
All hell breaks loose on the surface - check
Drop ship destroyed - check
Second drop ship - check
Difficult landing and extraction - check
Alien sneaks aboard - check
Rogue synthetic human - check.
Cat/child makes it to the end - aaaah, OK, you got me.

Oh look ALIEN & ALIENS mashed together in a badly written story line with a even more silly David story line as Dr Frankenstein.

[Rhodes]

Originally Posted by STEED

At last I have watched Alien Covenant and what a stinker it was. I just could not give a dam about the crew who were bunch of wet washouts. I was hoping they were all killed in the first five minutes what a shame that did not happen.

Ehehehe, you and many of us.
Since Prometeus, I always thought about the thing: hey, its a prequel and they do not in the future such creatures existed. Even in Aliens the company didn't quite know what they were or could be and that is just light addressed.
After the film I ask a friend that is my film going companion and his answer was: in this days a director says that they want this and that and the writer of the script do it; my question was about if the director made this like this, should the fault be on the script and it writer?
And the movie had such plot holes and bad coherence, I thing I mad a post about it when a went see it.
From the way they go there, the medical bay scene, the Dr. Davidstein (well review by you) and the end of the film, that was soooo not expected...
Did you see the Honest Trailers of it, go see it, it will make you laugh about it and that's good.

[STEED]

Originally Posted by Rhodes

Ehehehe, you and many of us.
Since Prometeus, I always thought about the thing: hey, its a prequel and they do not in the future such creatures existed. Even in Aliens the company didn't quite know what they were or could be and that is just light addressed.
After the film I ask a friend that is my film going companion and his answer was: in this days a director says that they want this and that and the writer of the script do it; my question was about if the director made this like this, should the fault be on the script and it writer?
And the movie had such plot holes and bad coherence, I thing I mad a post about it when a went see it.
From the way they go there, the medical bay scene, the Dr. Davidstein (well review by you) and the end of the film, that was soooo not expected...
Did you see the Honest Trailers of it, go see it, it will make you laugh about it and that's good.

Just seen it...

That ending was plain silly, as David plans to use what's her name as a host. Don't tell me the queen alien is back why? David has been laying his own eggs..big ones. The queen Alien is dead long live King David the Alien maker with his magic black goo oh wait its a airborne pathogen out of a engineer thermos flask soon to be on sale on amazon or maybe those golf balls with there naughty spores that infect dumb ass crew members.

Did you see that shower scene! Most of the crew slaughtered by David's xenomorph's and these two decide to have a spot of nookie! Wow one way to get over your crew mates death's.

[Rhodes]

The shower scene was hinted in the trailers. I thought: hey, they are trying to do same terror/horror scene. I didn't expected so late in the film.
So, they wanted to relax after knowing the fact they were 2 of 4 people still remaining and !

[STEED]

Here is my review in full of Alien Covenant with my other comments pasted in and a few changes all in one place now..

v2

At last I have watched Alien Covenant and what a stinker it was. I just could not give a dam about the crew who were bunch of wet behind the ears washouts whom clearly were expelled from Earth on the grounds they were a wast of space. I was hoping they were all killed in the first five minutes what a shame that did not happen.

THIS SECTION HAS SOME STORY LINE INFORMATION YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED IT.


I sat though this stinking mess of a film to find out David created the ALIEN! Bollocks, sorry had to be said. Did you see the size of those eggs! Hang on the Alien eggs are laid by a Queen Alien which clearly just got kicked up its butt..if they got one. Roll over Queen bitch Dave is in the house and you are out of a job! No I am not buying this guff, as for the new xenomorph's come off it, something that big bursting its way out would have killed its host before making its grand bloody entrance.

Oh look ALIEN & ALIENS mashed together in a badly written story line with a silly plot about David doing a Dr Frankenstein.

Back to David having a chin wag with one of the new xenomorph's are you kidding me. Clearly like the classic Alien it's a killing machine. And later on he's at it again with the classic Alien with some different looks. David thinks he is so dam special and top of the pecking order why play at Dr Frankenstein, what is his goal? Wipe out the human race with a army of rampaging Aliens that will suck up to him?

The story line in places was a right dam mess and you had to be out shopping not to see those poor sods David wiped out were not engineers. Who ever wrote this dribble clearly wrote it in under one hour or should I say five minutes.

Did you see that shower scene! Most of the crew slaughtered by David's xenomorph's and these two decide to have a spot of nookie! Wow one way to get over your crew mates death's. It was nothing more than a cheap slapstick schlock horror scene.

That ending was plain silly, as David plans to use what's her name as a host. Don't tell me the Queen Alien is back why? David has been laying his own eggs..big ones. The Queen Alien is dead long live King David the Alien maker with his magic black goo oh wait its a airborne pathogen out of a engineer Thermos flask soon to be on sale on amazon or maybe those golf balls with there naughty spores that infect dumb ass crew members.

I hear Mr Barking Mad Scott wants to make four more! Please no no no no....

So what was good? Well the cinema photography was good but you would expect that. The new xenomorph's were ok and were far more ruthless than our classic Alien ever was but part from that nothing else was.

If you were feeling let down after Prometeus just watch this dribble and you will soon be thinking hey Prometeus was not bad in fact it was good.


I say forget it and don't even go near it but if you like a silly blood feast with a dreadful story line and a bunch of farts knock your self out and go for it.

[STEED]

I am not taking any chances with the up coming BLADE RUNNER 2049 that will have to wait until next year when it comes out on DVD.

[Rhodes]

Originally Posted by STEED

I am not taking any chances with the up coming BLADE RUNNER 2049 that will have to wait until next year when it comes out on DVD.

That one is one of my want to see, I'm curious about it. But its not directed by ridley scott, so...I can or not be a good thing!

[Jimbuna]

[STEED]

^Oh look another remake..how original of Hollywood.

[Jimbuna]

Ya miserable sod!!

[STEED]

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

Ya miserable sod!!

ME?

I should have become a sarcastic film critic my review of Alien Covenant made my mate laugh saying I was spot on.

[STEED]

Watched last night on the box Cowboys Vs Aliens or too put it another way Aliens go fishing then get their butts kicked by Jame Bond and Han Solo.

[Rhodes]

Originally Posted by STEED

Watched last night on the box Cowboys and Aliens or too put it another way Aliens go fishing then get their butts kicked by Jame Bond and Han Solo.

And a naked Olivia Wilde, so it's a good film!