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Old 11-06-2017, 10:21 PM   #16
Gut Wrench
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NIGHTHAWKS #1 SEED
Can They Go 16-0?

Week Nine in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and we have our lock of the post season. While it's still early, is there anyone there who can stop the #1 team in the league from running away with an unblemished season?

Before we get some of the answers to the questions we've been asking, let's pause for ten seconds for the most important message of the day.


NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL REPORTS FOR THE BEST OF SUBSIM.

Let's get to the biggest question answered after this weekend, is who can stop the Helmand Nighthawks from achieving the immaculate season? Not the Drunk Monkeys. Monkeys went into England knowing that they have to show up to three games with the Nighthawks in the last half of the season, needing to win all of them to ensure that the Nighthawks did not secure the #1 berth. Was never going to happen. Nighthawks come out and do just enough to secure hole field advantage throughout the playoffs. A minor effort of diminished scores from Leseawn McCoy (RB) gave the Monkeys a sniff of opportunity to steak a win, but once again, rookie mistakes of starting players on vacation, left the Monkeys trying to reach a score with just five players. Where's the fighting spirit of the Drunk Monkeys - somebody call AJ Green. Nighthawks win convincingly 141 - 100.

Back home on good soil, the Guns of Hochuli were rolling in the Carolina's hosted by the Black Cats. The Cats pulled a Drunk Monkey of such significant proportion, that statisticians are still looking back to see to see where the previous lowest score was - week 14 in the 2016 season. (Really?) Black Cats turn in an impressive performance of a Ghost Team as they give up on the Guns of Hochuli, who steal a win in the low scoring 98 - 47 game.

Not as unimpressive, but certainly cringe worthy of being labeled lack luster, the Australian Taipans slithered into Oregon and once again got skinned alive by the Who Dat Nation. The Nation have been licking their lips since the whacking that the Taipans put on them several weeks ago, and this week they must have got the Auzzies with their tail between their legs. Not even a late Monday night charge could help as The Nation did just enough to outplay the Taipans, to win by 4 yards and stretch their lead over the league for the #3 post season play off position. Who Dat Nation gets one back as they send the Taipans home 135.26 - 134.12

So with some key, but yet, important losses, lets just review exactly where the league positions lay.

The Helmand Nighthawks are the #1 seed in the play offs, no one can change that. It's now a matter of who will they be playing.

The Australian Taipans have lead the Surface Skimmers Division all year but this week they fall to 4-5. The Guns of Hochuli have shown shards of greatness, most notably their win just a few weeks ago against the Taipans. And that game now becomes pivotal in the league standings as the Guns of Hochuli with their win raise their league standings and hold the tie breaker against the Taipans.

But hold the phone, we're not done yet with the fall. Having been knocked out of the Divisional lead, the Taipans now have to compete with the entire league, for their next seeding. The Black Cats hold a 2-1 win/loss record against the Taipans this year, and even with their abysmal performance this weekend, their 4-5 record has a second tie breaker with the Taipans. The Taipans fall from the #2 seed, to the #5 seed in one game.

The Who Dat Nation win and the loss by the Black Cats opens up the Sub Simmers division just a little. The Nation move into the #3 seed which is already been seen as the easier path to the Torpedo Bowl. No longer are the Taipans standing in the way of the Nation, now being replaced by the Guns of Hochuli, whom they have beaten twice and lost once - but still have two more games to play. This is not a lock yet.

The Black Cats despite having the lowest ever score in the league move ahead of the Taipans to the #4 seed, but are only one game out of the #3 seed. The Cats are playing for the easier path to the Torpedo Bowl, while trying to keep the Taipans at bay.

Next week, our program game was expected to be the Taipans hosting the Helmand Nighthawks, but the upheaval of this week has caused a change of venue for our broadcast team. We got back to the hometown of the Gunners as they get to host the Who Dat Nation for their third meeting of the year, and what may be pivotal for the end of season tie breakers.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 199 yards and 4 touchdowns, for a total of 32.60 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Carson Wentz (WR) of the Guns of Hochuli the Week Nine MVT.


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Old 11-13-2017, 10:39 PM   #17
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NIGHTHAWKS KEEP 16-0 DRIVE ALIVE
Unstoppable?

Week Ten in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and we're in the home stretch of the season. We'll find out which 1-9 team can still win the division, which team had the biggest blow out win, and what one team has to do to keep players on the field.

Before we get some of the answers to the questions we've been asking, let's pause for ten seconds for the most important message of the day.


NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL REPORTS FOR THE BEST OF SUBSIM.

The juggernaut of the Helmand Nighthawks Rolls on. The Nighthawks stretch their incredible winning streak to a record 10 consecutive wins. This week there was little to no opposition from the Australian Taipans, who current motto is "the best of the worst". Taipans showed up under prepared, under strength and just under the weather. No matter which combination of players they could have put together, it was just not going to be enough to beat the Nighthawks. The Helmand juggernaut rolls on with the bookies in Vegas getting nervous as some heavy bets are starting to appear on the Nighthawks clean sweep of the year. Can they do it? Stick around for another six weeks and we'll find out. The Nighthawks decimate the Taipans 136 - 88.

In the Carolina's the Black Cats were hosting the Drunk Monkeys and to even up the teams, the Cats benched Zac Ertz (TE) form the game in order to add some interest. It wasn't needed. The Cats came out lead by Kirk Cousins (QB) who scored over 36 points on his own. The Drunk Monkeys were never in the hunt, especially after their defense (broncos) turned in a negative score (-3). It's hard enough being the best damn 1-9 team in the league but the certainly don't have to shoot themselves in the foot while doing it. Black Cats have a statement game which keeps interest in the Sub Simmers division for the minor placings. Cats scratch out an impressive scoreline 144 - 65.

Our Match Of the Day tuned into a yawn fest this week, and opens up some interesting possibilities for the post season. The Guns of Hochuli were hosting the Who Dat Nation Rises who rose and just rolled over the Gunners like the Advancing Third Army. The Gunners were only able to offer token resistance tot he Nation as they took the tie breaker and kept in lock step with all the other teams within the division also recording wins. The Who Dat Nation advances to the second best record in the league and is on the precipice of eliminating other teams from the post season. Who Dat Nation Rises destroys the Guns of Hochuli 147 - 80.

How does one division winning and the other division losing affect the play off picture? Let's start at the bottom of the ladder and work out way up.

At 1-9 the Drunk Monkeys are still in contention to win the Surface Skimmers Division. While they stand on the verge of being mathematically eliminated, the entire division is such a poor performance that even the 1-9 Monkeys can still end the season as the #2 seed.

The Guns of Hochuli, the fabled franchise, and playing like their coach is just not there. Coach Casey started benched players this week and didn't adjust his team that the Gunners were already penciled in to fail at 4 - 6.

With the same record, the Taipans just can't stay healthy. For the third time in the last four weeks they have lost a starter, two QB's and now a RB. Taipans only hope for the playoffs is to win the division and slither in to the post season as an endangered species.

Now we get to the division that's starting to look like a real league. The Black Cats sit at the bottom of the division at 5-5 just one game back. While .500% does not look impressive, their play has. Sitting one game back form their opposition they are playing for the #3 seed which at this stage looks to be the easiest path to the Torpedo Bowl.

The Who Dat Nation currently occupies the #3 seeding and is looking to cement their position, Two more win will eliminate one more team from the play off picture. While they can't win the division, they do want to make sure they have the second best record in the league so that they advance to the Championship Games.

And then there's the Nighthawks at 10 - 0 and the whispers have already started. Can they go 16-0? They look poised to with just two or three games that jeopardize the Immaculate Season. Maybe Coach Chris should be nominated for the Toyota Hall of Fantasy Football Fame - next year. After this season.

Next week we go way down, Down Under in fact where the Australian Tipans host the Guns of Hochuli. The possible last chance for the Taipans to make a run at the #2 season will occur on home soil while the Guns of Hochuli will want to sail in and blow up the party. This game now appears a benchmark game for the division, with potential championship implications for the victor.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 266 yards and 3 touchdowns, for a total of 28.1 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Tom Brady (QB) of the Who Dat Nation Rises the Week Ten MVT.



Last edited by Gut Wrench; 11-13-2017 at 11:07 PM.
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Old 11-20-2017, 10:56 PM   #18
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THRILLER DOWN UNDER
...as we ready for the longest week of the season.

Week Eleven in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and before we get to the longest wee of the year, we have to wrap up this week which sets the tone for the last few games before the playoffs. Can The Nighthawks be immaculate? Can the Monkeys still make it? Can we stop with the rhetorical questions.

No.

So lets go around the grounds and get the dirt on all the plays that mattered, right after we brush off this important message.


NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL REPORTS FOR THE BEST OF SUBSIM.

  • Nighthawks at the Monkeys.
Mister Chris and the Helmand Nighthawks have the easiest path to the post season, but it helps when you've already wrapped up the #1 seed and play the leagues worst record three times in the last five weeks. However, the Monkeys put on a show, at least for the first half. Dre Brees (QB) was able to start the Monkeys on the right branch, but the fall off from that point is what put the Monkeys out on a limb. The Nighthawks methodically just steamrolled their way through lead by Brandon Cooks (WR). The question was asked early on if the Monkeys could pull the upset off, and it was a that moment that the Nighthawks put took flight and soared, as they rightly should in the divisional league. Nighthawks show that even though they had an easy opponent, there was no need to let up now. Nighthawks win 164 - 95.

  • Black Cats @ Who Dat Nation Rises
This game had a little more interest in it as it potentially had the opportunity to put the divide in place between the #3 and the #4 team in the league. The #3 teams was always going to play the opposite divisional champion, which at this stage of the season, was playing below .500%. The Black Cats had an opportunity here to churn the meadows, but they started Carlos Hyde (RB) and the Panthers (DEF). The Who Dat Nation made light work but still had Malcolm Ingram leading the way with over 30 points. A missed opportunity by the Black Cats may have cost them a chance at the Torpedo Bowl as the fall tot he Who Dat Nation Rises 147 - 112.


  • Guns of Hochuli @ Taipans
Here it is folks, the one pivotal game of the years that lived up the worth of a championship. The Taipans have struggled against the Gunners historically, falling to them with record high score, losing to them when they needed to make the playoffs. This year the Gunners took the first match between the two but the Taipans have owned the division, which didn't really take much effort. Thursday night Antonio Brown came out and lit up the scoreboard that many punters closed the book on the game. Someone forgot to tell Guns of Hochuli Keenan Allen (WR) that he wasn't in the same class as he came out and matched Brown's score. Sunday night the Gunners QB (Carson Wentz) drew the scoreline tighter and with no players left, the Gunners left the balance of the game in the hands of Jimmy Graham (TE) and Seattle (DEF) Despite Graham (WR) earning an early TD, the Seattle (DEF) struggled and just kept losing points to go within seven second and 2 points of winning. Taipans finally get a break and scrape home 147.3 - 145.12 against the Guns of Hochuli.


So before we start the longest week of the year, with no less than three Thursday games to really muck up your starters, lets make sure we get a clear understanding of what's at stake.

In the Surface Skimmers division, the Helmand Nighthawks can put the regular season away with their last potential spoiler opponent, the Who Dat Nation. The Nation cannot unrest the Nightahwks, other than the trophy currently held by the 72 Dolphins, but they can secure the #3 berth and the easier path to the Torpedo Bowl. The Black Cats at 5-6. are the middle of three teams playing for the last play off position. The Cats need to sharpen their claws next week against the Taipans to ensure they stay with the pack.

In the Sub Simmers Division, the win by the Australian Taipans almost gets them to .500%, almost. It's hard to believe that a divisional champion exists at 5-6 but the Taipans are showing it. The Gunners sit one game back at 4-7 and have one difficult game in the last three. The last week of the regular season may be playing for the division. At the bottom of the ladder, and even at 1-10. the Drunk Monkeys can still win the division, with help. Realistically, they are on the verge of elimination.

Next week we on the longest possible trek this year, as we cross both the Pacific and the Atlantic to merry old England where the Helmand Nighthawks get their last home game of the year, as they host the Who Dat Nation. The Nighthawks have nothing to gain, except immortality with another win. The Who Dat Nation Rises can put the #3 seed on ice with the win and wait out the opposition.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 10 receptions and 144 yards for 3 touchdowns, for a total of 48.40 points, and needed every bit of it, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Antonio Brown (WR) of the Australian Taipans the Week Eleven MVT.


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Old 11-27-2017, 10:42 PM   #19
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NIGHTHAWKS EDGE CLOSER
...somebody stop them.

Week Twelve in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and with just two weeks to go int he regular season, is there anyone who can stop the Nighthawks? Is there anyone who has the potential to stop the Nighthawks? Is there anyone who can show up for the Nighthawks?

Let's go around the grounds and find out what happened this week, right after this message.


NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL REPORTS FOR THE BEST OF SUBSIM.

  • Who Dat Nation Rises @ Nighthawks.
This weeks premier match saw the two strongest teams int he league, the Helmand Nighthawks hosting the Who Dat nation Rises. the Nighthawks have owned the league, secured the #1 seed and are just now playing for fantasy immortality as the first team to clean sweep the regular season. The most promising opportunity for defeat rested this week with the Nation as they showed up and quickly took an early leave before the first Thanksgiving Turkey was carved. Even some of the other Coaches were watching to see if the Nation could unsettle the clear benchmark of the league. After letting the Nation open up a slight lead, the Nighthakws swooped back right across the board. Nothing spectacular, nothing grandiose, just pure methodical football to rack up their twelfth consecutive win. It's beginning to look a lot like a Nighthawks Christmas as the Nation falters again in the Mother Land. Final Score Nighthawks 141 Who Dat Nation - 118, and the last legitimate team to break the streak, is swept, again.

  • Drunk Monkeys @ Guns of Hochuli
When I saw Chris Thompson (RB) for the Guns of Hochuli score a big fat zero on Thanksgiving night, I wondered of the Drunk Monkeys might get their second win of the season, against the same team that they got their first win of the season. Gunners were hosting the best damm Ghost Team there is for the second time and looked to be in early jeopardy until Keenan Allen came out and put up a high score. As thought scorned by the fact, Julio Jones (WR) of the Drunk Monkeys showed exactly why he has has the best set of hands and one of the most frustrating players to oppose as he put up 253 yards receiving, 2 touchdowns and some ground yardage for a high score of 58.6 points. Almost half of the Monkeys eventual total Julio was heard to begrudge his coach after the game stating "if they freaking coach had shown up we might have won." I tend to agreed with that statement, as Julio and the Monkeys could quite easily be the #2 seed in the league. Instead, they continue their free fall to plummet down as they earn yet another L, going down to the Guns of Hochuli 143-117.
  • Australian Taipans @ Black Cats
For the second week in a row, the Australian Taipans have come from behind to marginally win a team that played far better than they did. Taipans made the long trek back to the US to visit the Carolina Black Cats, a game that held high stakes for both teams. Neither could afford to loose and both needed to win just to stay in the hunt, although the Taipans are doing it from the front of their division. Cats must have been licking their lips when they saw the Taipans third TE in three weeks, Vernon Davis take the field and score a big fat zero. Zac Ertz (TE) showed how the Black Cats score putting up an impressive 32 points. The Cats narrowly lead late into Sunday night when the game came down to Levon Bell (RB) against Taipans Antonio Brown (WR). Once again, for the second week in a row, Brown came through in the clutch for the Taipans, lifting the Taipans to their second week of narrowly defeating their opposition. Taipans get a second opportunity to stay in front of the division with a 146 - 138 shoot out of the Black Cats.

With just two weeks to go in the regular season, is there anyone who can stop the Nighthakws? Let's check the table before we ask the question.

#1. The Helmand Nighthawks have the top seed and home field advantage for two weeks now. Nothing is going to change here, They're playing for 14-0 immortality.

#2. Australian Taipans. The Taipans in the past two weeks have had two close, but high scoring games. The Taipans are scoring a lot of points and their win this week adds clarity to the post season. At 6-6, the Taipans are are a game away from securing the #2 seed, and they play the leagues worst record next week, their divisional opponent. Of importance, they Taipans are already 3-1 in the division.

#3 The Who Dat Nation Rises are secure. While they have clearly closed the gap on the Helmand Nighthawks in terms of points scored, the Nation at 7-5 have an important 2-3 divisional record. In order to be in jeopardy, their divisional opponent has to beat both the Nation and the Nighthawks, then wait on the tie breaker. The unlikely task of defeating the Nighthawks secures the Nation the #3 seed, and the easier path to the Torpedo Bowl through the Taipans.

Here's where it gets a bit muddled.

The Guns of Hochuli and the Black Cats both sit at 5-7, but, the Gunners have a 3-2 divisional record whereas the Black Cats have outscored the Gunners by almost an entire game of offense. The Cats have the hardest path into the play offs having to go through the Helmand Nighthawks and the Who Dat Nation. The Black Cats may be looking at the playoffs from the stands if they can't get at least one win out of the two games. The Gunners may sneak in after trailing all season.

#6. The loss by the Drunk Monkeys eliminates them from the play offs, as we expected. They possibly could have fought for the #4 seed, but, you have to show up to have a chance. Spectators for the rest of the season, they can still play spoiler, and a second win will mess up the final seeding between the Gunners and the Cats.

So many choices, - not really, there is only one real choice. In the era of flex scheduling the Guns of Hochuli get the broadcast for their most important game of the season as they get ready to fire at home on the Who Dat Nation. The Nation need to keep their scoring up to avoid falling into a count back with the Gunners, while the Gunners can come within half a game of eliminating the Black Cats. There is no truth to the rumor that the Cats will be at the game watching once their match is over. This should be a pivotal game in deciding the final play off seeding for the Torpedo Bowl play offs.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 10 receptions and 172 yards for 2 touchdowns and a 2 point conversion, for a total of 46.2 points, and for the second consecutive week. needing every bit of it, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Antonio Brown (WR) of the Australian Taipans the Week Twelve MVT.


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Old 12-04-2017, 11:08 PM   #20
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BLACK CATS UPEND NIGHTHAWKS
...somebody did stop them.

Week Thirteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. Unlucky for some. Joyous for others. After this there is just one week to go in the regular season and we have a clearer picture of who's going to the Post Season, who's not going to the Post Season, who is so freaking lucky that we're even talking about them and the post season in the same sentence.

Let's check the report form all the grounds, right after this message.


NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL REPORTS FOR THE BEST OF SUBSIM.

  • Australian Taipans @ Drunk Monkeys
This should have been a slam dunk, an easy win for the Taipans to cement their place in the post season. Instead, it was once again the first of the nail bitters as the Taipans player Vernon Davis (TE) left the team vulnerable with another low score. If the Taipans can't get their TE to produce, teams like the Drunk Monkeys are going to give them a scare. Monkeys did themselves no favor as they started Jordan Reed (TE) currently suspended for violations of the leagues "no shave November" policy. For the Monkeys to get the win they were going to need Drew Brees (QB) put up another stellar performance. Instead, Brees faltered and with a modest score the Taipans were able to scrape home. The Taipans got lucky as they secured themselves a berth in the post season. In a low scoring game, Taipans slither into the post season with a 115-90 win over the Drunk Monkeys.

  • Who Dat Nation @ Guns of Hochuli
It was out match of the week. It was a pivotal match in both teams path to the play offs. It will be the game that the Nation will look back and think "should have got that one". The Gunners have trailed the Australian Taipans in the division all year and were on the outside trying to find a way into the playoffs. And find a way they did. The Gunners needed Tyree Hill (WR) to get both touchdowns and go over a 180 receiving yards to have any hope of beating the Nation - and they got their wish. At the same time, they also needed one of the Greatest of All Time Tom Brady (QB) for the Nation to have a bad day - and they got their wish as the blew out for only 7.32 points. The Gunners put on a dazzling display that they must now be considered legitimate contenders for the play offs and potentially, a late season charge for the Torpedo Bowl. Gunners get by the Who Dat Nation in a Nail Bitter 167 - 154.
  • Helmand Nighthawks @ Black Cats
Immortality denied. The Nighthawks were two games away from achieving immortality - one game really as their last game of the year is against the leagues worst record. This was the only potential bogey that the Nighthawks could encounter, and having already defeated the Black Cats, went in with confidence. No so fast Mister Chris - Coach FYC was needing the win to ensure that the Black Cats had a chance at the post season with a much needed win. And, we haven't had any really rewrites this season until tonight. Nighthawks chance at immortality went out the windows with the Black Cats last chance to scratch their way into the playoffs. The Black Cats do what no other team has been able to do this year, they have defeated the Helmand Nighthawks and suddenly found themselves in the playoff picture. The Nighthawks loose their chance to go undefeated, Final score Black Cats 148 - Helmand Nighthawks 132.

There's just one week left to go in the regular season and suddenly, we have the formula where three teams are competing for the last two play off positions. Let's go down the ladder and see where the teams lay, and what the potentials are.

#1. The Helmand Nighthawks are 12 - 1, having lost in week 13 to the underdogs. Nothing can change their post season, they get to stay at home as the #1 seed.

#2. Australian Taipans. The Taipans breathe slightly easier as they have the best divisional winning record. Although they play the Guns of Hochuli in the final week, even if they loose to the Gunners, the Taipans have the divisional tiebreaker. The Taipans go into the post season as the luckiest #2 seed.

Here's where the bottleneck begins.

Equal #3 The Who Dat Nation Rises 7-6 but are 2-3 within the division. Their last game of the year is against another divisional opponent. If the Who Dat Nation loses, they will have to wait out the tie breaker to determine where they sit at the end of the year. Mathematically, they could fall as far as the #5 teams, despite being the second best team in the league all year.

Equal #3 The Black Cats are 6-7 having secured the unlikely victory against a divisional opponent, and in their last game of the regular season face another divisional opponent. The Black Cats not only need to to win against their divisional opponent, but must then wait out a three way tie breaker. A loss may see them in a second tie breaker situation, where they to could fall as far as the #5 team in the league.

Equal #3 The Guns of Hochuli, the storied franchise is set to play spoiler. Starting on the outside, they not only need to win against a divisional opponent, they will be on the receiving end of not one, but two tie breakers based on the results in the other division. They need more to go their way than any other team, and are probably the #5 seed, but they could be as high as the #3 seed, having not been in in contention all year

Not hard to see where we're going for next weeks game, back to Oregon where the Who Dat Nation Rises hosts the Black Cats. Two divisional opponents will slug it out in a potential three way tie breakers scenario. the first that we've had in the league - and as little as two weeks ago, was totally unexpected. It's amazing how one win can change the entire playoff scenario

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 76 rushing yards, 5 receptions for 106 yards yards and 1 touchdowns, for a total of 35.20 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Le'Von Bell (RB) of the Black Cats the Week Thirteen MVT.


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Old 12-11-2017, 11:01 PM   #21
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POST SEASON SEEDING COMPLETE
...somebody has to miss out.

Week Fourteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. The final week in the regular season of an irregular games played out like clockwork between August and December. We've got all the important answers you're looking for as we'll go around the grounds and work out who's in, who's out, and who has to survive triple count back to determine their post season

But before we check anything off, let's put a check box next to the following message.


NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL REPORTS FOR THE BEST OF SUBSIM.


We have arrived. It's week fourteen and now we finally get to see just exactly how good these pretend coaches are with their pretend players. let's get to the heart of the situation and check in with the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) at each of the grounds and get the 411 on what really happened.

  • Helmand Nighthawks @ Drunk Monkeys
This was a nothing game at a nothing field with a total attendance of 14 - and that's counting the canteen staff. With both teams unable to change their position in the post season this was two teams just going through the motions. Heaven help us in the post season if Deandre Hopkins (WR) just goes through the motions as he put up over 40 points this week to showcase the depth of the Nighthawk talent. The Drunk Monkeys with nothing to play for other than first pick of the draft next year still showed up to enable enough programs to be sold to cover printing costs. The Monkeys put up a respectable score when compared with results at other grounds, but, not against the Nighthawks who keep flying high. Nighthawks go home home with a W for the final game of season defeating the Drunk Monkeys 161 - 119.
  • Australian Taipans @ Guns of Hochuli
The first of the important games of the weekend. The Taipans had lead the Division for most of the year but not strong enough to lock it away. The Guns of Hochuli have again showed that they were the Taipans bogey team by winning the earlier match ups between these two. The Gunners needed to win - and win big, to have a chance within the mathematical scenarios which would be needed for them to make it to the playofs. And win big they did. Gunners came out early and despite starting Jimmy Graham (TE)who scored absolutely no points, the Gunners were aided by their receiving corp with two out of three going for over one hundred yards each. Despite the Taipans having Antonio Brown (WR) who for the third week had over 200 yards receiving, the overall systematic demolition of the Taipans by the continuous barrage of the Gunners was enough to to earn the win. The differential between the two teams would also come into play as the Gunners were going to need every point. Gunners scored collectively right across all positions to beat the Taipans 144 - 113.
  • Black Cats @ Who Dat Nation Rises
If you were looking for an upset win to throw a "joker" in among the pack, you were going to have to script a Black cats win in Oregon. The Who Dat Nation has barely been able to keep their tails in front of the Black cats all year, as they have traded barbs. The Cats have been on a tear in the past few weeks running down the Nation, and with both teams post season resting on the last game of the year, it was expected to be a thriller. It wasn't. In fact, it was such a dull game that it did liven up the conspiracy theorists who had differing perspectives on what the failures of the Nation was. Looking like a brow beaten team, the Black Cats just decimated the Who Dat nation racking up the biggest winning margin of the week. Not what any of the potential post season teams needed but it was a sign that perhaps the Cats are a force to be reckoned with. Final score Black Cats 139 Who Dat Nation 101.

So What Happens Now?

Now it's a little more complicated. We've have fourteen weeks of the best football we've seen in a while and now we have to seed the teams for the play offs. Let's start with what we know first.

Eliminated: Drunk Monkeys 1-13.

The Drunk Monkeys were the first team eliminated, but not without getting their first and only win of the season. That game against the Guns of Hochuli was speculated at the time to play a huge part in the post season, and as we'll see, we were dead on. The Monkeys go to the Consolation Series with a bye.

#1 Seed: Helmand Nighthawks 13-1.

The Helmand Nighthawks were the first team which clinched a playoff position and have held that for several weeks. With the exception of just one game - and we'll talk about that in a minute, they have been the powerhouse team of the league. A former champion, the Nighthawks are the clear favorites and the hardest path to the Torpedo Bowl.

Now here's where it gets really tricky.

The TieBreakers

At the end of the regular season, we have four teams that are all 7-7 (.500%) break out the rule book, we're going to tie breakers.

Let's start with the Sub Skimmers Division where the Divisional Title is the first trophy up for grabs.

The Guns of Hochuli and the Australian Taipans met in the final week of the year and the Gunners whaled on the Taipans. At the end of the game, both the Gunners and the Taipans were tied at 7-7. The first tie breaker is decided upon divisional record. Both teams are 4-2, so we head to the second tie breakers for the division. The total number of points scored is the tie breaker. The Gunners despite getting two wins against the Taipans, scored a total of 1706 points, while the Taipans, despite their dismal last week performance, scored 1796 poimts. While not a large margin, it assures the Taipans the the Divisional Title and the #2 seed, and then drops the Guns of Hochuli back to complete for the final play off positions.

With the top two seeds, three teams are left to vie for the final two play off positions. The Guns of Hochuli have beaten both the other two own the divisional matches and the Black Cats are the only team in the league to have beaten the Helmand Nighthawks. All three teams are 7-7 but the Gunners have a better divisional record. But that doesn't factor into a wildcard count. It's all about points.

The Who Dat Nation came into the final week of the regular season with sizeable points lead and only a catastrophic disaster could keep them from making the playoffs. While they scored the fewest points int he final week, they were able to continue into the play offs clearly the highest point scorer for the season against their opposition. The Who Dat Nation earns the #3 seed.

The Black Cats entered the final week of the season needing not only a win but help to make the post season. They got both. Starting the week with 1666 points, their final score for the week put them just over 1800 points. The Guns of Hochuli who started the week needing the whim, a big score a prayer, got two out of three answered. The Gunners started the week with 1562 point but with the Cats scoring over 100 points, the Guns of Hochuli were going to need a record 300 to win the third tie breaker. Was never going to happen. Black Cats earn the #4 seeding in the playoffs.

So the final four looks like this:

#1. Helmand Nighthawks (never in doubt)
#2. Australian Taipans (lucky to be there)
#3 Who Dat Nation (easiest path to the Torpedo Bowl
#4 Black Cats (spoiler)

#5 Guns of Hochuli (eliminated)

That game against the Drunk Monkeys probably cost the Guns of Hochuli, the #2 seed.

The post season match up looks like this:

The Helmand Nighthawks host the Black Cats in merry old England. While this looks like a easy win, it was only two weeks ago that the Black Cats stopped the Nighthawks from going 16-0.

Across the Pacific Ocean, the Australian Taipans barely get into the playoffs and host the Who Dat Nation Rises. This is the easier path to the Torpedo Bowl. Still, we'll wait to see what happens.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the second consecutive week, for the effort of 48 rushing yards and 1 touchdown, 9 receptions for 77 yards yards and 1 touchdowns, for a total of 34.50 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Le'Von Bell (RB) of the Black Cats the Week Fourteen MVT.


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Old 12-18-2017, 10:35 PM   #22
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FROM NOWHERE, THE NATION RISES
...obliterates the Taipans.

Week Fifteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. The first week of the post season and have we got an interesting report for you. We'll track the two teams who had the most convincing byes of the year, check in our or regular season champion to see how they flew, and stand up with jubilation as one team stages the biggest comeback in the history of the game to record one of the largest winning margins int he history of the game. All that and more as we edge closer to Christmas Cheer, and who has to survive triple count back to determine their post season

But before we check anything off, let's put a check box next to the following message.


NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL REPORTS FOR THE BEST OF SUBSIM.


  • Drunk Monkeys and Guns of Hochui
Let's talk about the two games that went as predicted. Both the Guns of Hoculi and the Drunk Monkeys had bye. It was touch and go there for a while as the Monkeys slipped and slid on another banana peel just trying to get enough points on the board to win the bye. However, they managed to hold ton, although there was some suggestion hey did try to throw the game. The Guns of Hochuli were convincing winners in their bye and will host the Drunk Monkeys next week.

Now, onto the big games of the week.
  • Black Cats @ Helmand Nighthawks
The Black Cats hold the distinction of being the only team to beat the Helmand Nighthawks this season. Could they possibly upset the apple cart and turn the tables on the clear championship contenders for the second time in a season, Coach Chris and the Nighthawks, still seething and wearing band aids for their 1 loss season arrived at Wembley hours before the game and just went ape on the field in warm up. With all the adrenaline running, it was no wonder that the Nighthawks turned in once again, another of the finest performances this year as the Baltimore Raves (DEF) started the scoring rampage with 20 points. Their RB's of Leshon McCoy and Melvin Gordon combined for over 54 points, leading almost the entire weekend. It was apparent that though the Black Cats could keep up with the Nighthawks in the early part of the game, they just ran out of steam as Marquise Lee (WR) and A.J. Green (WR) could only muster 5 points between them. The Black Cats, who came into the play offs surviving two count backs, fall in the first round to the reigning champions, and get to make a long trek across the Pacific to contend for the bronze medallion. Final score Helmand Nighthawks 163 Black Cats 124.

  • Who Dat Nation Rises @ Australian Taipns
It's hot in Australia, over 100 degrees on game day as the Taipans hosted the Who Dat Nation. The Taipans have been luckless in the last few seasons as they continue to fail to win the first play off game of the post season. After making the long trek, the Taipans went out and put up over 100 points on the board before starting Sunday's game. The Nation were in trouble. If they were going to come back and beat this team at home they were going to have to produce something of historical significance. And produce they did. The Nation went to town on the Taipans first knocking their star Antonio Brown (WR) out of the game with a stub toes, and then just ran the Taipans town. Every one across the entire team reached into their well of excellence and produce one of the most charismatic performances ever seen. And once they caught the Taipans, they didn't let up, they get their foot on the pedal and drove home a message to the Nighthawks which suggests that the Nation are coming for them. This was a ballet of excellence upon which tape will be run as one of the greatest comebacks in the modern history of the game. The Who Dat Nation has rises and just annihilated the Australian Taipans with one of the biggest come from behind victories seen in any sport. Final score Who Dat Nation 208 - Australian Taipans 128.



The Torpedo Bowl

We talked all season about how the Who Dat Nation as the #3 seed would have an easier path to the Torpedo Bowl than having to meet the strongest team int he league the Helmand Nighhawks. As we predicted, the Who Dat Nation gets to make the longest away travel for their team as they leave Australia and head to England to meet the Helmand Nighthawks at Wembley Stadium. The Nighthawks have been the class team of the league but the destructive scoring spree by the Nation this week has now leveled the scales. The Who Dat Nation are now a legitimate shot at taking the Torpedo Bowl from the #1 team int he league after trailing the Nighthawks by half a game all year. It is, the best possible game of the season.

For the Bronze medal, the Black Cats get to go into the Southern Ocean where the Taipans had their first ticket to the Torpedo Bowl snatched away from them. The Cats will be coming in to make it three teams out of four from the Surface Skimmers Division dominating the league, while the Taipans are trying to save some face.

In the minor play offs the Guns of Hochuli will host the Drunk Monkeys in what will be little more than an exhibition game for spectators unable to travel overseas to our host venues.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

We talked about the game having such historical significance that we couldnt go past selecting our player from the match. For the effort of 152 rushing yards and 3 touchdowns, 3 receptions for 28 yards yards and 1 touchdowns, for a total of 51 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Todd Gurley (RB) of the Who Dat Nation Rises the Week Fifteen MVT.



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Old 12-25-2017, 10:51 PM   #23
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TODD GURLEY DELIVERS THE TORPEDO BOWL
Absolutely Stunning

Week Sixteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. The final week of the post season that has three games that include the Subsim Torpedo Bowl. All season, we've waited for the biggest upsets, and it came in the biggest and last game of the season. We'll go around the grounds and get the scoop on all matches and give you the run down on the final result of the 2017 Subsim Torpedo Bowl.

Right after we get this last chance to persuade you.


NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL REPORTS FOR THE BEST OF SUBSIM.


  • Drunk Monkeys @ Guns of Hochui
The fifth place position game. The Drunk Monkeys have just one win on the season and were looking to double their tally by years end. The Guns of Hochuli, plagued all season by wretched misfortune and bad luck, were not about to let the Monkeys get their second upset of the season. Even though the Drunk Monkeys started both Jordan Reed (TE) and Mason Crosby (K) both players failed to scored any points. The Gunners were up two players for the whole weekend and just cruised to deliver a win in the final week of the season. Guns of Hochuli account for the Drunk Monkeys 122 - 105.

  • Black Cats @ Australian Tiapns
Both teams lost in the first week of the play offs and were fighting out of the bronze medal. The Taipans were the divisional winners who fell to last week to the Todd Gurley (who Dat Nation) scoring machine. The Black Cats spent the season as the third strongest team in the league but in the same division as the two strongest. It was no surprise then, even after the South Pacific crossing, that the Black Cats came out and destroyed the Taipans. The Taipans, in the humidity of the Australian Christmas, delivered one of their lowest scores of all time, and subsequently became relegated to the fourth place position, getting bumped off the podium for a medal. Final scores sees the Black Cats come home with the bronze medal defeating the Australian Taipans 141 - 79.

  • Who Dat Nation Rises @ Helmand Nighthawks

The Torpedo Bowl


It was the best match up of the year between the top two teams. The Helmand Nighthawks were on the verge of immortality when they finally succumbed to their first loss late in the season. The Who Dat Nation Rises had convincingly beaten everyone else in the league with the exception of the Nighthawks. After three regular season match ups, the Nighthawks were finally ready to storm the British shore and take on the Nighthawks.

Welcome to Wembley Stadium, Mister Todd Gurley. Last week Gurley decimated the Taipans to put the Nation into the Torpedo Bowl. This week Gurley went one step further and single handed recorded the highest points scored of any player int he history of the league. The Who Dat nation were unstoppable, even their bench could have substituted in for another 50 points. The Helmand Nighthawks fell short, recording one of their lowest scores of the year. Had the Nighthawks played in any of the other two post season matches this week, they still would have lost, so low was their score.

The Who Dat Nation put on such a display of scoring, that they stamped themselves not only the League Champions, but possibly, one of the greatest post season runs seen in any league, anywhere in the world. The final score was not even close. The Who Dat Nation record their second Torpedo Bowl win by handing the Helmand Nighthawks a hiding, 191 - 110.

Said Coach Fuel For Blood after the game ended, "We're grateful to the Nighthawks for allowing us to showcase just how good a team the Who Dat Nation Rises are, but right now, we've got a plane to board, cause we're going to Disneyland."

Before we hand out this weeks award, we have one more report coming to you. In twenty four (24) hours, the 2017 Subsim All Star team will be named. Stick around tomorrow as we find out who the truly great stars of the league are as we honor those who have gone before us.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

There was no match this week. Continuing on from the uprising given by the same player this week, they single handed delivered the Torpedo Bowl Trophy. For the effort of 118 rushing yards, 10 receptions for 158 yards yards and 2 touchdowns, for a record total of 61.60 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Todd Gurley (RB) of the Who Dat Nation Rises the Week Sixteen MVT.



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Old 12-26-2017, 11:05 PM   #24
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2017 ALL STAR TEAM NAMED
Honoring the Honorable

The post season is over, the hangovers have began, and the votes have been tallied int his years All Star team. Until two weeks ago, the All Star team was pretty well made up with the results of the regular season, but the performance, and the non performance, of several key players, have changed up the final positions.

Without further ado,the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present this years team, names after those who precious in our hearts.

2017 MANDALAY BAY SAINTS



Starting Line up:

QB: Russell Wilson (Guns of Hochuli)
WR: Antonio Brown (Australian Taipans
Deandre Hopkins (Helmand Nighthawks)
Larry Fitzgerald (Who Dat Nation Rises)
RB: Todd Gurley (Who Dat Nation Rises)
Le'Von Bell (Black Cats)
TE: Travis Kelce (Helmand Nighthawks)
K: Chris Boswell (Helmand Nighthawks)
DEF: Baltimore (Helmand Nighthawks)

Bench:

Tom Brady (Who Dat Nation Rises)
Julio Jones (Drunk Monkeys)
Kareem Hunt (Australian Taipans)
Rob Gronkowski (Who Dat Nation Rises)
Stephen Goistowski (Black Cats)
Jacksonville (Australian Taipans)



There you have it folks, as voyed bu your writers covering the greatest fantasy sport int he world.

We'll put this column to bed and brush it off in about six montha as we say goodnight tot he 2017 season, and wait for the 2018 season to bring us sixteen more weeks of the best pretend action you've seen since you were a teenager.
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