Reading your post it is clear you are really new to this sim.. That is entirely, ok we all were once. No exceptions..
I only mentioned it to frame whats next: My advice on the major mods.. hold off until you learn the nuts and bolts of the game.
Why?
You said you were depressed already...well....these mods are only going to increase that feeling for the inexperienced. Don't get me wrong...these mods are super, but like fine wines they take experience in order to fully appreciate them. Learn the ropes first, litter the seabed with enemy shipping, then move on to the realism mods. Of course use all the graphic enhancenment mods you want. They are easily installed and removed if you don't like them using JSGME. (Do search to learn to use this installer, if you don't already.)
As for the realism settings you have to reset those for each career from inside the "office". Scroll left and you will see a radio on the bookshelf. Left click it and up pops your realism settings. Set them from there and they will remain for the entire career.
Another helpful thread would be:
http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/show...t=taking+photo
Good luck and stick with it...most of what you mentioned will become clearer as you gain experience...and the frustration will disappear..you can count on it. (or at least shift to a different focus...
)