Not long back from shopping at ASDA with the wife during which I observed a guy about 30 ish years old picking up pre-packed sirloin steaks and stuffing them into a sports holdal.
I thought to myself "You twunt, I'm planning on having one of them for supper tonight provided you leave some but I'm having to pay for mine"
He looked at me looking at him and said "What the (expletive) are you looking at?"
I swear to God an instantaneous red mist descended and without giving much thought I passed the trolley to the wife and 'fell' on him, knocking the wind out of his sails and applied the good old tried and tested wrist lock technique which took him to the ground then applying an elbow spiral to maintain total control over the sad basum.
Store security were only five or so seconds away apparently already having observed the worm on the store security cameras.
I felt pretty good after that and the experience certainly brought back a few fond memories but I wasn't in the least prepared for the wifes comments as we pushed our trolley to the car..........
Wife:"You stupid bugga!! You're not paid to do that sort of thing any more, you're retired for Gods sake!! What if he had a knife on him?!!"
Me: "That my dear is why he was incapacitated and took to ground asap"
Wife: "You'll not be happy till you make me a widow"
Me: " Not to worry, you are the sole beneficiary in my will"
Moral being, if it happens again, look the other way and decide on fish or curry for supper....anything but steak
