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Hottentot · 03-26-12, 06:36 AM

It's official: the kingdom of Brythain has finally united the lands between Wales and Northampton, the ancient home county of my dynasty. This was mostly because the duke in the middle of these lands decided to go heretic. Being a good catholic that I am (what do you mean "-200 piety"?!), I declared bunch of holy wars on him to bring the only true faith back to these lands.

It sort of worked. I got the lands, alright. But then my subjects realized that the heretics have much more fun in parties and they started converting to heresy instead. It's spreading like a wildfire. I think my "screw the pope" policies for the last three or four generations may have helped in disillusioning my people.

The inheritance scam worked perfectly: I now own all in all about 47% of the English counties and am still going to inherit at least a few. Once it goes above 50%, I'll usurp the title of king from that current monarch, whoever he is. I these days count them more as wars than persons and I'm not sure if they are even Godwins anymore.

What I didn't see coming, however, was the second most important lesson from CK 1 to bite me in the arse: "Your first born son and the most likely heir is inevitably an imbecile." Once my old king kicked the bucked and sonny inherited, I saw that he had been busy while being vassal under the English king: not only had he managed to get himself excommunicated, he also had converted to heretic himself. A bastard son crowned it all, but at least he had at some point managed to get properly laid as well. Also, all my careful tutoring was right next to wasted, he was now literally a walking collection of sins and bad traits. Ooo, joy...

I divided the kingdom heavily among sycophants to avoid demesne limits and rebellions. The current king was already in his 40s when he inherited. I'm waiting for him to die, so that the next heir can inherit the duchy of York and there will be progress again.

You know what the best part is? I was so sure of this drooling moron's inevitable success when he was born, that I wanted to have some fun and ironically named him "Bernard".

03-26-12, 06:36 AM	#49
Hottentot Sea Lord Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: My private socialist utopia of Finland Posts: 1,918 Downloads: 4 Uploads: 0	It's official: the kingdom of Brythain has finally united the lands between Wales and Northampton, the ancient home county of my dynasty. This was mostly because the duke in the middle of these lands decided to go heretic. Being a good catholic that I am (what do you mean "-200 piety"?!), I declared bunch of holy wars on him to bring the only true faith back to these lands. It sort of worked. I got the lands, alright. But then my subjects realized that the heretics have much more fun in parties and they started converting to heresy instead. It's spreading like a wildfire. I think my "screw the pope" policies for the last three or four generations may have helped in disillusioning my people. The inheritance scam worked perfectly: I now own all in all about 47% of the English counties and am still going to inherit at least a few. Once it goes above 50%, I'll usurp the title of king from that current monarch, whoever he is. I these days count them more as wars than persons and I'm not sure if they are even Godwins anymore. What I didn't see coming, however, was the second most important lesson from CK 1 to bite me in the arse: "Your first born son and the most likely heir is inevitably an imbecile." Once my old king kicked the bucked and sonny inherited, I saw that he had been busy while being vassal under the English king: not only had he managed to get himself excommunicated, he also had converted to heretic himself. A bastard son crowned it all, but at least he had at some point managed to get properly laid as well. Also, all my careful tutoring was right next to wasted, he was now literally a walking collection of sins and bad traits. Ooo, joy... I divided the kingdom heavily among sycophants to avoid demesne limits and rebellions. The current king was already in his 40s when he inherited. I'm waiting for him to die, so that the next heir can inherit the duchy of York and there will be progress again. You know what the best part is? I was so sure of this drooling moron's inevitable success when he was born, that I wanted to have some fun and ironically named him "Bernard". __________________ Хотели как лучше, а получилось как всегда.