It was always my understanding that the remains of those killed on the Oklahoma were removed during the righting and salvage of the ship at Pearl so I would think their loved ones wouldn't need 'closure' as to their whereabouts. I just assumed they were buried somewhere in Hawaii.
With the war raging I think the cold reality was that they repaired the ships that could be put back in the fight first and since both the Oklahoma and the Arizona were such complete wrecks they were left to be salvaged last. One article stated that the Oklahoma was salvaged purely to free up docking space. That's harsh, but again, think of the mindset of those days. We wanted to win the war. All other considerations were given short shrift.
I've never had the chance to go to Hawaii. I always figured the Arizona memorial was for not only her dead crew, but a memorial for everyone who died in that attack.
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