NIGHTHAWKS SILENCE GUNNERS
Coach Garagamel returns (finally)
Week 5 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and there are lots of questions being asked.
Can Coach Gargamel hold on for the next eight weeks? Have the Nighthawks served notice on the Gunners? And who devised the schedule that two teams meet in consecutive weeks?
Yes, all these and the big questions of the week, will be answered, right after we bring you the most important message since the Presidential Debate.
VOTE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM...WE DIDN'T DELETE ANY EMAILS AND WE DIDN'T TALK ABOUT ANY WOMAN.
On to the important stuff.
This weeks Match of the Day brings about the strangest anomaly for these two teams...again. The Guns of Hochuli meet each other in back to back weeks, this week the Gunners stay home and the Nighthawks fly in. Next week the Nighthawks host the Gunners in England. Confusing? Apparently so 'cause the Gunners were silenced this week in such dramatic fashion, that it even keeps the The Who Dat Nation in the hunt. Gunners rode on the shoulder on their Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger who scored an individual 42 points. The Wide Receiving Corps for the Gunners stumbled a little with not very many yards and only one receiving touchdown between them. In any other league the Gunners 132 point score would be respectable for a win, but not in the Subsim League. Gunners running back pair of Ezekiel Elliott and David Johnson rushed for a combined 291 yards and 4 touchdown, to do the damage right up the middle. And as if to say "You people should never have revolted", the Nighthawks stay on and just pip the highest score in the league this year. Nighthawks on the road defeat the Gunners 188 - 132. Next week the two teams meet again in Wembley, England.
Rumors have been abound for the last four weeks about the location of Coach Gargamel. Jail? House arrest? Hospital? Truth of the matter has been disclosed that in true money grabbing fashion, Coach Gargamel has been phoning in his plays after a stalemate on his pay. Coach was asking for more bananas, whereas the club just wanted pay him more money. The Drunk Monkeys have played on however and made the long trek south to take on the Australian Taipans. The Taipans, who it seems has had everybody put up record scores, were on track to be the basement dwellers of the league. Taipans finally put the bite on the slippery slope and stop the bleeding by taking care of business at home. Monkeys swung into town and made a rookie mistake, starting Julio Jones (WR) and Denver (DEF). While Jones didn't hurt the equation, the mathematics behind it was anything but common core. Taipans put up another good score, and this time, don't get the crap beaten out of them. Taipans win 158 - 113.
Now the one game that was off everyone's radar were the Who Dat Nation hosting the Black Cats. Both teams are previous champions but have struggled to regain that form that had seen them take home the crown. Who Dat Nation sits at the bottom of the ladder with just one win - which they were lucky to get. Black Cats were without their starting QB, Cam Newton, as he serves a one week suspension for violation of the Subsim League Jackass Policy for headbutting a rhinoceros last week. Black Cats coach FYC must have known something about this game, he even started without a kicker so supremely confident he was.
"We don't need no stinking kicker," he said. "We'll run them over."
And they did. Black Cats respond to Who Dat Nation Tom Brady (QB) throwing for over 400 yards by scoring points right across the board. Cats shed the bottom of the ladder as they stride past the Nation 150 - 118.
Now, this week has shaken up the standings just a bit, and in one division, it's back up for grabs.
The loss by the Gunners stops the artillery barrage at 4-1, but they still hold both the best record in the league and the division. After that, it become a little messy.
With all three teams in the Surface Skimmers Division winning this week, there's a status quo about the Cats, Nighthawks and Taipans. However, with all three teams in the Sub Simmers Division losing, those three teams are now without one or two games of the league lead. That division is going to be black and blue by the end of the season.
The Drunk Monkeys after going 2-2 as a Ghost team, are now steadily under the helm of Coach Gargamel, and drop immediately to 2-3. Maybe he should have waited another week? The real surprise of the season is the Who Dat Nation at 1-3, three games out of the division lead. The Nation might be in trouble now that Coach Gargamel has returned, and could face the prospect of Championship Elimination if they don't get their scoring mojo back on again. Nation needs a win to get their season back on track.
And that's exactly where we're going next week for the Match of the Week as the Drunk Monkeys welcome home Coach Gargamel with the their first prime time broadcast of the year hosting the Who Dat Nation. The Monkeys after starting miraculously at 2-2 can put two games between them and the Who Dat Nation with a win. The Nation however will have other ideas as they try to stop their four game losing streak and stay in the hunt. This divisional game will have some implications as both teams need to avoid a loss to stay in contact with Guns of Hochuli.
Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.
For the effort of 157 rushing yards, 3 receptions for 28 yards and 1 touchdown, for a total of 39.5 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present David Johnson of the Helmand Nighthawks the Week Five MVT.
