[Aktungbby]

DARWIN AWARD RULES: Actual winners must meet the following criteria:

Reproduction
Out of the gene pool: dead or sterile.
Excellence
Astounding misapplication of judgment.
Self-Selection
Cause one's own demise.
Maturity
Capable of sound judgment.
Veracity
The event must be true.

(Arkansas Democrat Gazette):
Two local men were injured when
their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State
Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the
accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and
Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a
frog-catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.
The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the
older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available,
Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into
the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting a bullet, the
headlights again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded on
eastbound toward the White River Bridge.
After traveling approximately 20
miles and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated,
discharged and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right,
exited the pavement and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and
abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the
damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended.
Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be dead," stated Wallis.
"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but
this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this
accident happened," said Snyder.
Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole 's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and if anyone got them from the truck? (AT LEAST SOMETHING ...'CROAKED' ??...MEETS 'GIRL'S GOTTA EAT'' BBY!)
Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result
of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it
can be argued that Poole did in fact effectively remove himself from the gene
pool.