My advice would be to learn boat handling first. Keep automatic targeting and learn how to position your boat, what setups work best for shooting torpedoes, get a feel for destroyer detection of your boat, get crash dives, leveling off at the depth you want, silent running, running decks awash, planning an approach and all the nuts and bolts of being where you need to be when you need to be there.
Then after boat handling is automatic, it's time to go to manual targeting, if you're interested, and learn how to make booms! I'm also not a believer in "realism mode" where you basically put a paper bag over your head and pretend it's realistic. Leave map contacts on. You get too much information, but you don't have to use it.
Make your own sightings for bearing and range, plot those and use those for handling your navigation. I don't think the devs did a good job of separating navigation from situational plots and you give up too much when you shut down map contacts.
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