Quote:
Originally Posted by Platapus
Battle Surface and take them with the deck gun. It's the last thing they will expect.  |
The last time I tried that tactic...
We blew ballast and surfaced in a New York minute. The escorts caught our scent almost right off the bat and we were in for it. I put a few of my guys on the 4-inch and a few more on the forties, and told them sumbitches to thunder away till dawn. The only problem is that we had cracked open my private reserve the previous afternoon, and somewhere along the line we had burned all our ammo trying to catch fish. We didn't even have cartridges for our small arms! So the only option we had left was to throw our stockpile of jelly donuts at the escorts as they made sweeping passes at our boat.
The hull was full of holes from one end to the other, the deck was awash in blood, and we were as sure as dead. I kid you not. But then the dangdest thing happened... all those jelly donuts we had chucked into the ocean? It turns out that seabirds are suckers for those ungodly things. All of a sudden this HUGE swarm of gulls and geese and sparrows and penguins... you name it... every bird you can think of dove in on us and surrounded the boat and prevented the enemy from getting a clear shot at us! We all ducked down below decks and started cramming everything we could find into the holes, even our underwear! When I went back up for a peek a few minutes later the birds were all gone. They had eaten every donut we had thrown out, and what's more is that they had picked the decks of the destroyers clean. Not a Nip in sight on those ships!
God's honest truth.
