Originally Posted by jimbuna

A Jewish guy called Jacob finds himself in serious financial difficulty. So desperate is he, that he decides only God can help him now. He goes to synagogue and prays hard. "Help me God", he wails, "I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please, just let me win the lotto."
When lotto night comes Jacob has no luck. Week after week he sees someone else win the jackpot, and so returns to synagogue, and this time he begs, "My God, why have you forsaken me? I have lost my business, my house, my car. My wife and children are starving. I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you let me win the lotto just this one time?"
Suddenly there is a brilliant flash of light as the heavens part and Jacob is confronted by the voice of God himself. "Jacob," the voice booms, "meet me half way, buy a feckin' ticket!"