^They're like a pack of unruly schoolchildren, the plonkers.
My Second and Final choice to be the New Tory leader is Penny Mordaunt.
Bloody Hell Penny, you're not bent enough to be the next Greased Pig Tory Prime Minister, go forth and create some bleeding mayhem for ****s sake or you'll never be the PM.
I've always wanted to give Penny one, (my vote you bleeding perverts, my vote) so I looked her up a bit, not up her skirt you morons but on the interweb, there's not much to be said about this candidate as she's almost as squeaky clean as a bleeding NUN, this won't do Penny, it won't do at all.
She hasn't got a Police record, she hasn't fiddled any of her family's taxes and she doesn't pretend to be Thatchers re-incarnation, bleeding hell Penny you're a boring bitch, what she needs to do is be a bit controversial but don't make a fool out of herself while having some of these mad moments, people love politicians who are unpredictable Penny, remember that.
I think Penny Mordaunt would be the safe bet to be PM if Rishi fails in his bid, but, and it's a big but, will the Tory Hierarchy go with a bleeding NUN as a Prime Minister. H'mmmm, I think this is a Tory leader election too soon for Penny, but maybe, just maybe, the Tory Party might benefit from having her as a leader as she doesn't appear to have any skeletons in her cupboard.
She won't have much opposition to beat as Starmer is too busy keeping up with the fruitcakes of the country instead of being a Labour leader with some bleeding gravitas about him, go get him Penny.