HOLY CRAP, WHAT HAPPENED?
Who's In? Who's Out?
Week Fourteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football League and the final week of the regular season. If you were ever wanting to have a ball tearing mathematical equation with count backs and surprise elimination, have we got the league for you. We'll go around the grounds and cover the two upset wins, then we'll look at the last and final game of the regular season where the lead change with each pass, as two quarterbacks combined for a low score. Once we've done all that, we'll get back up and try to work out who's in, who's out, and who's still in the hospital writing this on honky wifi.
But before we do anything else, lets get some clarity on the one thing you should do now.
NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.
Let's start the recap with our match of the week with the Drunk Monkeys hosting the Helmand Nighthawks. The Drunk Monkeys are already in, they have home field advantage throughout the playoffs. This weeks game held no advantage for them, but was the first card to fall over if the Nighthawks, and two other teams needed to make the playoffs. The Monkeys have been the most improved team from prior years - it's amazing what you can achieve when you show up. But their biggest obstacle was always going to be former Champions the Nighthawks. Patrick Mahonne (QB) of the Monkeys and Ben Roetlisberger (QB) of the Nighthawks battled back and forth in an equally matches passing game. Monkeys RB, Todd Gurley has been the steamroller this year but the Nighthawks were able to limit him to under 10 points. Nighthawks countered with Stefan Barkley (RB) rushing for over 35 points. the differential of the RB scoring positions put the Nighthawks ahead but was sealed when Rob Gronkowski(TE) crossed for a late touchdown. Helmand Nighthawks do the impossible and hand the Drunk Monkeys only their third loss of the season by the comfortable margin of 179 - 124.
The second game in the improbable equation was the Black Cats hosting the Who Dat Nation. The Cats have been ghosting along this year, but still they have managed to keep pace with the league with some improbable wins when injury within games has removed their opposition. Who Dat Nation started nicely with an early 30 point lead, and were cruising to victory when they basically sat down and took a dump. The Nation forgot that there was a week of football to be played and not just an early Sunday and the Black Cats would make them pay a hefty price. The Cats, still operating with two players absent (A. Collins and G. Gano) had no business even being in the hunt, but someone forgot to tell the Cats wide receiving corp who collected over 100 points and six touchdowns. The Nation, suddenly facing the possibility of dropping from the Divisional Winner to elimination, hurriedly try to mount a counter offensive that just smelt bad. The Nation failed to break the century of points mark and the Black Cats just scratched their way into playoff consideration. Final score, Black Cats take the biggest blow blow out of the week and the biggest shock win of the season by stuffing the Who Dat Nation in the kitty litter. Final score Black Cats 155 defeat the Who Dat Nation 97.
Our third and final game of the week was a divisional match up between the Australian Taipans and the Guns of Hochuli. The Taipans, facing the prospect of of being eliminated or going on the road through the playoffs were hosting the divisional rival for several years which has previously kept them out of the playoffs. The Taipans were looking like heavy favorites when Odell Beckham (WR) was ruled out of the game moments before kick off and a substitute was not available. Taipans came out and were marching along towards victory when the Guns of Hochuli put the ball in Greg Kittle (TE) Hand for 40 points. Late Sunday night, Jarred Goff (QB) had a career worst day for the Taipans and suddenly the race to the playoffs was on. The Gunners still had Russell Wilson (QB) to start and the Taipans only had Adam Thielan (WR) left. If the Gunner could pass for two touchdown or throw for 300 yards - two targets not difficult for Russell Wilson, the entire league would be thrown wide open. Russel Wilson was playing on the same field as Jarred Goff (QB) and also struggled, not throwing one touchdown despite running for 61 yards. Thielan (WR) also was not able to score but was able to receive enough yards to get in front of the Gunners late Monday night. The Gunners failed at the QB position, and the Taipans were able to steal a win by the narrow margin of 162 - 157.
WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE US
Calculators out, let's break this down one count back at a time. We will start initially with the Surface Skimmers Division where we only have one unknown.
REGULAR SEASON CHAMPIONS
The Drunk Monkeys have been the best comeback team, ever, to finish the season at one of the best records of 11-3. The Drunk Monkeys get to stay at home throughout the playoffs. They are probably not the favorites to win the season, but, they were also not favored in week one to make the playoffs. Drunk Monkeys are playing for the clean sweep to win the league. Drunk Monkeys are the #1 seed.
ELIMINATED
The Guns of Hochuli had been eliminate from the Championship Season prior to this week. They start the Consolation Series as the #6 team.
SUB SIMMERS DIVISIONAL CHAMPION.
Holy crap. Let's do this one step at a time.
With the unexpected win of the Black Cats over the Who Dat Nation, and the less plausible win by the Helmand Nighthawks, the entire Sub Simmers Division finish out the season at 7-7. We've been in the middle of tiebreaker discussion for the past few weeks, and it continues this week.
The tiebreaker for the Divisional Title is awarded to the team with the best divisional percentage. The loss by the Who Dat Nation puts them at 2-4, the win by the Helmand Nighthawks puts them at 3-3, but the unexpected win by the Black Cats puts them at 4-2. For the first time this season, the Black Cats win their first count back which enables them to steal the Divisional Title. Black Cats head into the playoffs as the #2 seed.
Nobody would have picked that several weeks ago.
Championship Seeding
Now that the Divisional Title has been established, we have to go into the tiebreakers again for the #3 and the #4 seeding for the Championship. In addition to the Helmand Nighthawks and the Who Dat Nation, the other team that also finished at 7-7 is in the equation - the Australian Taipans. But unlike the Divisional Champion, a different count back is used. Total points scored.
The Helmand Nighthawks and the Who Dat Nation Rises have been the powerhouses of scoring in recent year - but not this year. This year the highest scoring team was the Australian Taipans who amassed 2392 points. The Taipans have also had the most points scored against them, accounting for their .500% record, but that's enough for them to take the #2 seed.
We're down to one last Championship Playoff position and it's a tiebreaker between the Helmand Nighthawks and the Who Dat Nation. The Who Dat Nations hopes always rested on both a win and a high score in the final week of the regular season, which did not eventuate. The Helmand Nighthawks win the #4 seeding, relegating the Who Dat Nation to their first Consolation Series since joining the league. It is also the biggest single week fall since the league began.
The Black Cats not only stole the Divisional Title in the last week of the league, but they also relegated one a former champion team out. The Black Cats are also the first Ghost team to make the playoffs, and the first ghost team to win the divisional championship.
No body would have picked that.
Next week we go back to Cleveland where the Drunk Monkeys host the Helmand Nighthawks. These two teams matching up represent the best of the league. The other game, the Black Cats in North Carolina hosting the Australian Taipans may, may be a foregone conclusion. The Cats have ghosted their way here, how improbable is it they could ghost their way to the Torpedo Bowl?
Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.
For the effort of 170 rushing yards for 1 touchdown and 4 receptions for 0 yards (those receptions count), for a total score of 35.70 points, the ASW are proud to present Stefan Barclay (RB) of the Helmand Nighthawks the Week Fourteen MVT.
