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View Full Version : Minor Screenplay - "Sea Dogs - The Fleet Boats"


Anthony W.
05-05-11, 11:23 AM
One of the threads here inspiring me to beging writing a fictional screen play for a movie about the US subs in the pacific

Not sure if I'll ever get a chance to film it - but I sure will have fun writing.

Here's what I have so far

*Enter* - show Gato docked at sunrise, few men on deck untying mooring lines
[Tympony quiet roll to base drum crash w/ gong/crash symbol. Go to black - gold lettering "Sea Dogs"]
[Fade letters to "The Fleet Boats"]
[Slide show of combat camera footage (still and video)]
Narrator: It was a long war - and not one we wanted to be in - but we were there.
Every day - every night, only the muffled sound of our engines - and the crashing sea
We knew where we were - and that if anybody else were to as well - it could be the end.
Three watches - morning, noon, and night.
Nobody like the day watch. Wasn't much better than the night - but it had that extra element of fear.
In daylight, you could be spotted. No cloak of darkness to hide behind.
Not exactly ships we were worried about. It was the aircraft - that scorpion of the skies - that we were afraid of.
And when you saw one - all hell broke loose.
Sometimes it'd be a lone patrol plane - maybe a passing fighter. Not too much to worry about.
We'd just stay up and fight it out with the guns.
But more often than not - it was one of those flying boats. Armed to the teeth with only one goal - kill you.
When you saw one of those - time slowed down. Instinct kicked in - the same every time.
Alarm call, down the hatch, diving stations. Alarm, down the hatch, diving stations...
Sometimes we got lucky - they didn't see us.
But others - we got caught with our pants down - in the middle of the dive.
Then we had a real problem - depth charges.
Sealed in a drum - sometimes 125 degrees - sounded like somebody pounding away on the outside.
Sometimes one got close - we'd pitch and roll - fighting for control - and our lives.
It was that feeling you really remembered - the helplessness - the fear.
Thats what got to you.
[End slide show]
*To scene* - in a bar - oldies music playing - decorated like an old sea shack
Men dressed in their khakies - some talking - some sitting there with their heads down
[Close up of a clean shaven man with his hat on, standing up with minor decorations displayed]
*Freeze frame*
Narrator: Thats captain Myers - bravest man I ever met. Never knew much about him - but its a safe bet he's saved my ass on more that one occasion.

*Unfreeze* Show young, country boy looking guy taking a shot *Refreeze*

Narrator: Thats Neil Johnson - my best friend - and one hell of a mean drunk. Met him back in basic - him and I have been in and out of more trouble than anyone else on the boat.

*Unfreeze* To focus on a red headed nerdy looking guy sitting on a stool depressed *Refreeze*

Narrator: And thats me - Warrant Officer Johnathan Davis.

*Unfreeze* [Female bar tender enters scene]

Bar tender: What's got you down, sailor?

Narrator: I don't know - just missing my folks back in Maine. Leaving on patrol again tomorrow. Rumor has it some of us are goin home after this one...

Bar tender: Well-

*Focus on Cpt. Myers, sound of tapping on a beer bottle is heard*

Myers: As some of you may have heard, tomorrow morning we set forth on our final patrol as a unit. We're being rotated.

[Cheering]

Myers: Now, as it does seem fit, I propose a toast. To the Gato, to the United States, and on to Japan!

[Loud cheering]

Myers: Now don't have too much fun tonight - we shove off at 0800 with you, or without

*Fade to black*

Narrator: We had to carry Neil back to base that night - kicking and screaming all the way - drunk - as usual.
Didn't bother me much - not like I was going to get any sleep either.

*Fade into barracks, men asleep, two women standing at the door looking in*

Woman one: (Solemnly) Such a shame they don't even know...

Woman two: Know what?

Woman one: You haven't heard? Tomorrow they're going to Tokyo...

*Fade back to black*

*Fade into scene of narrator and Neil walking towards the submarine at sunrise*

Narrator: You know - Neil - I really have a bad feeling about this one. I don't know what it is - but it isn't good.

Neil: Na, man, we've done it all now. There ain't nothin' can touch us. Them Japs-

[Switch to view of sailor on conning tower]

Sailor: You cowards comin or what? Come on, we leave in 20 minutes!

Narrator: Looks like we better get on it. Don't want to be last in line for steak dinner tonight!

Neil: Last one up the gangway bunks in the engine room! Haha, alright lets go.


I figure if I ever get this finished and find a sub to use as a set, I could get er' done and filmed.

I even figured a way to recreate the sound of depth charges inside a sub - and it wouldn't be that hard

I'd just need a volunteer crew of reenactors

Daniel Prates
05-05-11, 12:29 PM
I immediately pictured McGruder being played by a young Clint Eastwood.

Anthony W.
05-05-11, 01:13 PM
I immediately pictured McGruder being played by a young Clint Eastwood.


Wow, so did I

Daniel Prates
05-05-11, 04:09 PM
He could say those butch things he used to say in those Sergio Leone westerns.

McGruber, after sinking a japanese freighter: "there are two kinds of vessels in the ocean, my friend... those who fire Mk 14s, and those who are sunk by them. You get sunk." And then he spits a piece of his cigar in the ground.

Anthony W.
05-05-11, 04:21 PM
I was thinking about changing some of the names to real captains and crew members

Torplexed
05-05-11, 08:23 PM
But more often than not - it was one of those flying boats. Armed to the teeth with only one goal - kill you. When you saw one of those - time slowed down. Instinct kicked in - the same every time.
Alarm call, down the hatch, diving stations. Alarm, down the hatch, diving stations...
Sometimes we got lucky - they didn't see us.
But others - we got caught with our pants down - in the middle of the dive.I realize there is a certain amount of artistic license here, but you'll have to explain to the history buffs how a Balao with the best air search radar money could buy at the time, keeps getting caught on the surface by lumbering flying boats. :D

Anthony W.
05-05-11, 10:10 PM
I realize there is a certain amount of artistic license here, but you'll have to explain to the history buffs how a Balao with the best air search radar money could buy at the time, keeps getting caught on the surface by lumbering flying boats. :D

I'll change that to a Gato... I wrote the opening stage directions in the middle of doing something else

I changed the title to "Wet Dog - The Fleet Boats"

I introduced Neil Johnson - the narrator's best friend and changed the name of the captain

Daniel Prates
05-06-11, 09:59 AM
I realize there is a certain amount of artistic license here,

Well reminded. We could use this artistic license to improve the story a little bit - say, for instance, adding a hot redheaded female sailor called "candy".

Anthony W.
05-06-11, 11:07 AM
Well reminded. We could use this artistic license to improve the story a little bit - say, for instance, adding a hot redheaded female sailor called "candy".

Haha - I'll include them going thru hot pics of their girlfriends in the bunks

About to introduce the narrator himself

Anthony W.
05-07-11, 05:26 PM
What do you all think so far?

Patrick_Hillary
05-10-11, 06:18 PM
As far as I am aware the early Sd Radar,"Air Search", could only give a 6 mile coverage around the boat, so a 250 m.p.h. flying boat could cover that distance in less that two minutes, even with the improved unit there was still the problem of low flying aircraft not being detected. So it would be not uncommon for a Sub to be surprised by an Aircraft. Good luck with the story, if you have a part can I play the ships baker? Doughnuts Ahoy!

Anthony W.
05-10-11, 07:42 PM
As far as I am aware the early Sd Radar,"Air Search", could only give a 6 mile coverage around the boat, so a 250 m.p.h. flying boat could cover that distance in less that two minutes, even with the improved unit there was still the problem of low flying aircraft not being detected. So it would be not uncommon for a Sub to be surprised by an Aircraft. Good luck with the story, if you have a part can I play the ships baker? Doughnuts Ahoy!

Sure

I moved the main thread down to General

Stealhead
05-10-11, 09:52 PM
Your Captain has excellent OPSEC how is that he is command of a sub?Also a sub crew stayed on their boat except when on leave the night before going out they'd be sleeping inside the boat.

Also if they are in khakis they must either be officers or senior NCOs (you did not specify what your narrator is besides that he is not the CO) officers do not go to basic training.Just saying if you are trying for any accuracy though it sounds very Hollywood so maybe that is your goal.

Even the later war SD could get outraged by a watchmen with good MK.1s and some binoculars.

You can write what you want I suppose but most folks who are into WWII subs are wishing for realism in a movie and less Hollywood there have been tons of very Hollywood sub flicks.

Anthony W.
05-10-11, 10:29 PM
Your Captain has excellent OPSEC how is that he is command of a sub?Also a sub crew stayed on their boat except when on leave the night before going out they'd be sleeping inside the boat.

Also if they are in khakis they must either be officers or senior NCOs (you did not specify what your narrator is besides that he is not the CO) officers do not go to basic training.Just saying if you are trying for any accuracy though it sounds very Hollywood so maybe that is your goal.

Even the later war SD could get outraged by a watchmen with good MK.1s and some binoculars.

You can write what you want I suppose but most folks who are into WWII subs are wishing for realism in a movie and less Hollywood there have been tons of very Hollywood sub flicks.

I haven't edited for realism yet. It is of paramount importance - but currently I'm just getting a good story line going.

And - from what I've heard - regulations weren't always followed so strictly - particularly with the submarines ("it was a different war for them")

It will be later found out that Neil is the Chief Engineer, and that the narrator is the navigation officer