View Full Version : The NEW Moulin Rouge
03-27-2009, 12:28 AM
It had to happen and you know it. We've got a new building that has been billed as being G/K proof.
Has anyone seen Phil around? Last we heard, he was destitute and had crawled into a case of MadChuck 20/20.
Chad, you should be legal now.
03-27-2009, 10:04 PM
The trucks started arriving at the loading docks, laden with the finest spirits available. Fine sherry wines from Jerez, Kentucky Bourbon, Single Malts from the Highlands, you name it, it was there.
The breweries came and installed the equipment for the beer and even started giving free samples to get the patrons hooked on their particular brews.
Furnishings and restaurant equipment started showing up later.
03-31-2009, 04:22 PM
Where is the Phil Red Label? Errr...where is Phil?
03-31-2009, 07:27 PM
Gunter bellied up to the bar and Squid took out a frosty mug from the cooler and walked to the tap. He reached and pulled the tap down and ...
Out goes the power.
Kirk (From basement): SORRY!!!
A few moments later...........the power returns...a bit brighter than normal.
Squid again reaches for the tap.....BRRRRRRRRRZZZZZZAPPPP!!
Kirk (From basement): SORRY!!! I knew I should have cut the blue wire!!
A flashlight illuminates Squid and Gunter.
Jester: I thought we did away with G/K Electrical?
Gunter: We did....but damn if they didn't come back at us for breach of contract and threatened a lawsuit.
Jester: Let me guess....the Three Amigo lawyers?
Gunter: Yep. Dewey Cheatham & Howe.
Jester splashed a Phil Red label over Squid to wake him up.
Jester: You Ok there ol' buddy?
03-31-2009, 07:52 PM
S: Unhhhh. What <smoke rings> hit me?
J: Kirk strikes again.
S: Find Derschowitz. I don't care if he's slinging burgers over at Taco King. Then, give Kirk his book and tell him to study it. http://i245.photobucket.com/albums/gg72/CaptSquid/default.png
G: Let's just try an experiment while we're waiting, huh? <hands CS a CFL bulb> Here. Hold on to the base.
<< Light shines brightly from the bulb.>>
J & G: Uncle Fester!
S: Very funny.
J & G: We thought so! :D
03-31-2009, 07:57 PM
I guess it's time to hang this ole picture up on the barroom wall.
04-02-2009, 02:57 PM
=== Outside the MR ===
=== Inside the MR ===
Jester : What the hell is that?!?
CS: Sounds like a delivery truck backing up
Gunter: It's HERE!!!!!!!!!
The door opens and a bulky delivery man enters and asks...
"OK...where do you want it?"
CS: *grabs the invoice* Wha??? A pool and a table?
Jester: Gunter, I said POOL TABLE....not a POOL and a TABLE
Gunter: That's on page 2 of the invoice.
CS and J look oddly at Gunter.
Gunter: What?!? A man can't have accessories??!?
Kirk: I can wire up the pool filter in no time!
ALL but Kirk: NO!!!!!!!!
04-03-2009, 12:41 PM
Hi all, whats up:D
04-03-2009, 03:09 PM
A large, burly driver appears at the loading dock doors.
"Where ya want this, mac?"
J: "Want what?"
Driver: "I got this truckload of grape Nehi and crunchy egg salad sandwiches to deliver."
Gunter: "Crunchy egg salad? Does that mean..."
CS: "Yep, he's still around. Where, I don't know. Driver, bring that stuff to the chill box. But leave one case of Nehi out where it's warm."
Driver: "Warm Nehi? Ugh!"
CS: "Tell me about it. We got one customer that likes it that way."
Driver: "Ok, bud, it's his funeral."
04-03-2009, 03:13 PM
Ghostmooner, name your poison.
04-03-2009, 03:46 PM
Jester: So Squid....I hear the new MR Theatre room is almost complete. What's on the list for movies?
CS: Nuthin. Lost everything in the fire.
Jester: Which one?
CS: The last one. We have to start from scratch on our movie productions.
Jester: So what's next on our production list?
Kirk comes out dressed semi-like Captain America
Kirk: Dun dah DAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Jester: Oh great.....lemme guess.
CS: Cannonball Chuck. :|\\
04-03-2009, 06:55 PM
So where's the shopping list? We gotta have some silly things to provide before we start our next adventure.
04-03-2009, 08:27 PM
Ummmm. Warm grape Nehi. :cool:
04-04-2009, 05:35 PM
ItHas anyone seen Phil around? Last we heard, he was destitute and had crawled into a case of MadChuck 20/20.
Destitute, dissolute and desperate. And I know where he is, but he asked me not to tell anyone just yet. Especially Kirk.
04-04-2009, 08:07 PM
"Hey now!...Look who I found...its the Viper....the vindow viper....but anywho,I found Phil,hes still inside a coffee can hibernating in the basement...or he was till I started a game of kick the can..
Phil Ale,..dirty glass, please."
04-04-2009, 08:44 PM
That wasn't Phil. That might have been his cousin, Curly. Or maybe Oddball. Gunter says Phil is on assignment and Sailor Steve says he ain't tellin' nobody where Phil is hiding.
Here, Kirk. Have a crunchy egg salad sandwich. Someone screwed up the beer dispenser.
04-05-2009, 04:24 PM
At the bar,near the beer dispenser....
Jester noticed a toolbox and black boots sticking out from under the beer dispenser,
"Kirk!...tell me your not tinkering again."
"Relax my young apprentice,.it just needs a ,NEW flux coil in the wave guide.
..AND a load drop on the DC inverter high side."
Jester eyed the GK box on the floor,"GK World Wide Electronics!Jeez ,Squid will have a fit."
"Hand me the Flux capacitor and that ..ROUND, thing ..with the stripes."
. Kirk said as he eased the 440 line under the bar.
"Careful ..that THING.. with the stripes is Hot...or was that the ground?..
.Whatever,the modified Sine wave will..
. Have,.... the beer flowing at just under 4 PSI and with a foam reduction of 25% ,the amperage will,.
.DRAW down to JUST 1.6...Squid will be serving Phil Ale at ..
..TWICE the rate as... Yesterday,...OMG, I'm a GIT and didn't know it.."
Jester turned to go,"Anyone ever tell you that you talk kind'ah funny?"
"NO,why would ..THEY ..say that?"
04-06-2009, 10:18 PM
Walking in behind the building, Squid is inspecting the security system. CCD cameras, ground motion sensors, electric eyes, even low-light and thermal sensors -- yep, Jester came through with all the .... Waitaminit! When was that high-tension line installed? "Jester!"
J: "Yes, boss?"
CS: "Where and when was that high-tension line installed? Isn't this place wired for 220 only?"
J: "Well, ah, erm, you see..."
CS: "This smells an awful lot like Kirk. OK, spill the beans. What has he done now?"
J: "What makes you think I know anything?"
CS: "Cuz you develop a nervous tic every time you get caught with your hand in the cookie jar. Now, GIVE!"
J: "I, ah, did see him coming up from the cellar and..."
CS: "The cellar?!?!?! OMG! :eek: That's where the beer is stored! Quick! We gotta see what he did!"
The pair make their way into the cellar and over to the beer storage vats. Physically, nothing appeared out of the ordinary. Then they noticed that the line pressure was not at the normal 3-5 psi; it was now reading 4500 psi!
Both: "THE BEER TAPS!"
Upstairs at the bar, Sailor Steve was starting to draw a pint when Jester and Capt Squid came racing up the stairs. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" Too late! The beer came shooting out, blew the stein out of SS's hand and blew a hole through the floor.
04-07-2009, 09:54 AM
Torplexed and Gunter were moving the pool table into it's new location when beer went flying all over the MR.
G: "Save the beer!"
T: "It's too late.....it's gone."
Just then there was a knock at the door. Wiping the beer from his face Sailor Steve answers the door. A dark shadowy figure enters the MR: "Is there a KIRK here.
SS: "Kirk... it's for you."
As Kirk walks up to the driver he gives him a long hard look. The driver says: "So your Kirk, eh?"
K: "So your Canadian, eh?"
Driver: "Very funny wise guy." Then the driver leans over and says "John has a long mustache."
Kirk: "Mary needs to shave her armpits."
Driver: "Sign here."
The driver returns with a crate and Kirk starts opening it. As the side falls away, there is another box inside. On the side it says "C.I.A" and "R.G.N.M.R.D.C.D.B.S."
Sailor Steve, Torplexed, and Gunter all at the same time: "The COMPANY!"
Kirk takes a step back: "What.... no that stands for Coyote Inc., Acme. It used to be just Acme, but this Coyote guy won a lawsuit over not being able to control a rocket backpack/skate combo he was using to chase a road runner."
CS: "Kirk, what is R.G.N.M.R.D.C.D.B.S. ?"
Kirk: "It stands for Radar Guided Never Miss the Red Dot in the Center Dart Board System. I thought we could pick up some change with the rigged dart games."
Lo'! pass me a Dr Pepper!
I'm not legal till another 2 months :shucks:
Meanwhile let me take up my place at the piano
04-12-2009, 02:38 PM
http://www.musanim.com/tapper/playerpiano.jpg You sure you're up to playing this? Sweet Georgia Brown (http://www.emusic.com/samples/m3u/song/10999898/14954843.m3u)
Sure, no problem..
*Takes a drink from his Dr. Pepper in a shot glass*
"Alright, this one goes out for all our active sailors across the 7 seas," Chad announces and begins to play away.
04-13-2009, 11:36 PM
Just don't EVER play Those Endearing Young Charms.
04-18-2009, 10:34 PM
It's grand, what a chance to get a peep at the creachers of the deep:o
04-19-2009, 08:01 PM
Unbeknownst to G/K Worldwide, the vacant lot across the boulevard from the Moulin Rouge had been quietly purchased through cutouts by OCGM Enterprises, LLC.
Groundbreaking ceremonies were curtailed, remembering what happened the last few times. However, over at OCGM, a private ceremony, using a planter in the boardroom, was held. The three partners used small silver trowels and, with numerous photo ops, turned over the soil in the planter. The plans had long been in the works; every possibile contingency had been worked out.
This time, they would succeed!
04-20-2009, 09:29 PM
Pre-fabricated components started showing up after the foundation had cured. Wiring and plumbing went quickly. Then the walls went up -- double walls with additional reinforcement. The ceiling/roof went up last, but it was tripled with dead air space between each layer. All the while, Guido (remember him? The Enforcer Rabbit?) provided site security. NO ONE from G/K was going to interfere with THIS project.
04-30-2009, 05:22 PM
Outside the MR a low rumble slowly grew louder. The rumbling got louder and louder. The MR foundation started to shake until the rumbling grew loud enough that you could tell that whatever it was ... was right outside the door.
As the rumbling died and the sound of a powerful engine was shut off, two voices could be heard outside the MR doors.
Voice 1 : I can't believe you traded for this tank!
Voice 2: It's a beautiful tank!
Voice 1: It's awful! It leaks fuel all over the damn place!....It's a piece of junk!!!
Voice 2: Always with the negative waves, Moriarty!
The MR doors swung open and a couple well dieseled chucks strolled through the door.
Jester: They have arrived....
CS: Oddball! Moriarty! Welcome!
Kirk: Great....more furballs.
Phil: About time you mugs showed up! Where's crapgame?
Oddball: He's reloading the paint shells for the tank....he'll be in shortly. Say...didn't you tell me you needed a new decor for this place??
04-30-2009, 06:35 PM
I thought the ML could use a few of these. :D
Glancing up from 2 continuous weeks of playing the piano, seeing the three girls walk in, I think it's time for a refill :O:
05-05-2009, 12:31 PM
Has anyone seen our piano player? It's awfully quiet in here.
The Starchuck's was almost ready for its grand opening. The "herbal" tea was scheduled to arrive at midnight. Security was tight; maybe that's why the tank was purchased. The security system WAS designed and installed by OCGM Electronics and monitored from a remote site by hardened communication lines. Even the water supply was separate from the local mains. Nothing was left to chance.
05-06-2009, 02:20 AM
Midnight on a moonless night. It couldn't possibly get any darker. The power to the street lamps had been cut. Two Opel Blitz trucks show up, each painted jet black with no markings or number tags. Muffled engines and idle speed ensured that there was very little sound. Shadowy forms emerge from the back of the trucks; everyone was dressed in black and wearing gumsole shoes. Most of them set up a secure perimeter around Starchuck's. A specialty team came out and swept for bugs, mines and IEDs. Another team checked the electrical and other utilities -- no sabotage from G/K Worldwide. A secure radio transmission went out.
A second convoy, heavily escorted, came down the road. The third and fourth vehicles carried the "herbal" tea. They were also blast-proofed and well armoured. Backing up to the loading dock, they quickly and efficiently unloaded the precious cargo and stowed it in the sub-basement bunker. Alarms were set in preparation for the grand opening. Guards were posted. Then, the convoys both departed, again, quietly and under extreme blackout restrictions.
G/K Worldwide will be furious that they've missed all the fun.
05-13-2009, 01:02 PM
Meanwhile a very drunk swhalen36 stumbles in and says " Hey I heard a guy could get a drink here!!!"
05-13-2009, 11:18 PM
The rummy is noticed by the guard detail. The Sergeant of the Guard walks up and says, "Say, rummy."
"How'd you like a free bottle of Mad Chuck 20/20?"
"Whadda I godda do to get it?"
"Keep an eye out for Kirk or anything from G/K Worldwide."
05-14-2009, 12:31 PM
AYe Aye Sir....Guzzle guzzle....hic...:arrgh!:
05-20-2009, 09:15 AM
Oddball comes up from the cellar and tugs on Squid's coat tails.
Oddball: Umm..yeah man....like we got a small problem. It's not real big but you know, hey...it could be worse.
CS: What is it this time?
Oddball: Well you know those big kegs in the cellar?
CS: Yeaahhh......the kegs full of Phil Ale?
Oddball: Like..dont sweat it man. Like...the guys are having fun and...
CS: Oddball...WHAT happened?
Moritarty comes up from the cellar....totally drenched.
M: Oddball! there's Phil ale all over the damn place!
Oddball: Well the guys were bored, so we like cut the kegs in half and made them like....little ships to float in. We took some potatoes from the storage room and are using them as shells to fire back and forth. Ya know....fun.
Squid reaches over and presses the BLUE button.....
05-22-2009, 06:33 PM
After the BLUE button was pressed, massive pumps kicked in and drained the cellar in minutes. Then, an overhead sprinkler system kicked in and washed everything down. It was a ruse. There was NO Phil Ale in those kegs. It was meant to throw off the G/K team. All that was spilled was Phil's Hard Root Beer!
05-23-2009, 05:23 PM
Has anyone seen our pianist lately?
07-26-2009, 12:13 PM
We have a pianist??
07-27-2009, 12:34 AM
Duh! Yes, we have a pianist. If you came here more often, you'd know!
08-20-2009, 06:42 PM
Been a hell of a battle the last few weeks at work. Pour me a Phil Ale.....make that two. It has to be happy hour somewhere!
08-20-2009, 07:44 PM
Remember Skarkenstein WILL win and the silly K.R.A.P. will be forced to lay down their arms and face the glorious SHARKENSTEIN side as the true leaders!
Unite Sharkenstein members, the war cry is sounding. The time has come!
:|\\ "thats close enogh for jazz"
08-21-2009, 11:07 AM
Sharkenstein Schmarkenstein....where is that red shoed lady anyways??
09-07-2009, 03:45 PM
Has anyone seen or heard of Phil lately? Last we heard, he had crawled into a bottle following the collapse of his liquor empire.
10-12-2009, 06:22 PM
Been kinda quiet around these here parts lately...:shucks:
10-18-2009, 07:58 PM
Chef's Special of the Day:
Salty Dog Stew
Side of Crunchy Egg Salad
1 pint of Phil Ale
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