Game: Crush Each Other's Dreams

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but this is causing several basic laws of the universe to be broken (again). Since no two places can have the exact same time (down to seconds), the Earth must shrink in order for the time between the zones to become more accurate. Unfortunately, it's still impossible, and the Earth shrinks into a singularity before disappearing altogether.

I wish that I had the hat of Maximilian von Spee.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it's in tiny pieces lying on the bottom of the South Atlantic, and you have to look for it

I wish I had Reinhard Scheer's hat

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it's locked away in a museum in Hamburg and you can't reach it.

I wish that I had a real Pour le Merite in my own possession.

[Platapus]

I wish that I had a real Pour le Merite in my own possession.

granted but by this time you would have died of old age.

I wish pizza did not upset my stomach. :(

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it now upsets your bowels instead.

I wish this day was night.

[Randomizer]

Granted, and it will be dawn in - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - Now...

I wish all the world was a stage.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, there's one leaving tomorrow...make sure your on it.

I wish toothache was funny.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you are now addicted to it

I wish I could stop the socialists from overthrowing the righteous government (That would be me, King Raptor I) of the Authoritarian Democratic Market Liberal Paternal Autocratic Fascist Imperialist Republic of Raptorland and installing themselves as the rulers of the Soviet Socialist Republic of Raptoristan

[TarJak]

Granted, but as no-one else lives in this place, the ensuing civil war send you round the bend.

I wish I had a +7 ASW modifier.

[Raptor1]

I wish I had a +7 ASW modifier.

I can't bring myself to crush that :cry:

[Randomizer]

I wish I had a +7 ASW modifier.

I can't bring myself to crush that :cry:

But I can...

Granted, so you strike a mine instead.

I wish Rome had been built in a day.

[rifleman13]

Granted, but then suddenly, a strangelet appeared on Rome and the city and the rest of the world was destroyed in a day...

I wish Harry Potter novel series didn't exist...

[Task Force]

Granted the Harry Potter series of books have all disappeared. But there are some harry potter fans out there that are ready to kill you and they will eventualy do so.:lol:

I wish there were 28 hours in a day.

[TarJak]

Granted, you now live on planet Hoosbaine which has a 28 hour day. The rest of us stay right here on earth.

I wish I was having a day off tomorrow. (Luckily I really am! :D)

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but that means Earth would have to be slightly farther from the sun. Unfortunately, this causes climate problems and makes life on Earth unsuitable for humans. Every species on the planet dies out, and we become an arid, deserted planet much like Mars.

I wish that the Big Rip would occur.

[rifleman13]

Two dreams, one post... :hmm:

This is most righteous! :arrgh!:

I wish I was having a day off tomorrow. (Luckily I really am! :D)
Granted, then suddenly the phone rang and your boss needs you at the office! :rotfl:

I wish that the Big Rip would occur.
Granted, the Big Rip does occur and since everyone posting at this thread is so sick and tired of reading of doomsday dreams, nobody would care... :lol:

I wish for someone to buy me some pizza!

[TarJak]

Granted, I am that someone so you'll have to come to Australia to pick up your pizza before I eat it. Sorry I don't deliver.

I wish cross posting was less likely.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but that means stricter posting time limits.

I wish that I had background theme music that would play throughout my life (except for when I'm sleeping).

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you have to make a donation :roll:

I wish reality didn't have any real troubles

[Letum]

Granted, but you have to make a donation :roll:

I wish reality didn't have any real troubles

Granted.

All your real trubbles vanish and life becomes bliss. You never encounter any problems
in life. However, slowly you start to become beset by a gripping fear of ghosts, divine
wrath, the living dead and other unreal troubles.
So powerful and ever present are your unreal troubles, they cause you to flee from you
home, flee from your town, your country. You spend your last days running from a
host of imagined problems and fears until your feet are warn to the bone and your
mind totaly deranged. In this state you die lonely, terrified and confused.


I wish I became a "universal man", skilled in every craft, fully knowlageable in every
subject etc.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but this universe only exists in your own mind, therefore you are the only one in it. You soon go mad and take to ordering yourself around.

I wish my mind was all knowledgeable.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it decided that you are keeping him down and left you for a better place

I wish I could make a donation

[TarJak]

Granted, you will donate AU$100 million to me.

I wish that Raptor1 would hurry up with the money!

[Raptor1]

Granted, but I sent it before we managed to stabilize the Atlantic, so a German U-Boat sunk the transport carrying your money :D

I wish I had 24 CVEs for a +4 modifier

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but I can't give it to you because I have no idea what you're talking about. I'd imagine it has something to do with electronics, but I still don't know. I'll give you a dollar instead.

I wish that I knew what a CVE for a +4 modifier was.

[TarJak]

Granted, but the explanation makes your brain bleed.

I wish Stealth Hunter would find out about Escort Carriers and their modifying effects the Allies efforts in the Atlantic when playing AWAW was less painful.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but the explanation makes your brain bleed.

I wish Stealth Hunter would find out about Escort Carriers and their modifying effects the Allies efforts in the Atlantic when playing AWAW was less painful.

Granted, it now kills him instantly and painlessly.

I wish Stealth Hunter were still alive:cry:

[Platapus]

Granted, but the explanation makes your brain bleed.

I wish Stealth Hunter would find out about Escort Carriers and their modifying effects the Allies efforts in the Atlantic when playing AWAW was less painful.

Granted, it now kills him instantly and painlessly.

I wish Stealth Hunter were still alive:cry:


Granted, but then by your own dream shootdown, he would just die over and over and over.

I wish I could concentrate on my stupid paper instead of posting long and boring posts about nuclear accidents.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but when you come to turn it in you learn that you were supposed to write it on nuclear accidents

I wish people would stop criticizing the safety of nuclear reactors without knowing what they're talking about :damn:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but your stupid paper is...toilet paper.

I wish plants were volatile.

[nikimcbee]

Granted, but your stupid paper is...toilet paper.

I wish plants were volatile.

Granted, but not as volatile as this:.
.
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.http://www.united-nations-of-beer.com/images/superfat.jpg





I wish wishes had fewer calories.

[Randomizer]

Granted, you become the official tester for New Diet Wishes, Zero Calories, Zero fulfillment. Too bad they also have no substance and are loaded with toxic chemicals.

I wish I knew what this stupid key unlocked.

[Platapus]

I wish I knew what this stupid key unlocked.

Granted it opens Pandora's Box and now all of the evils of mankind escaped. Thanks buddy!

I wish I had some nice shrimp with lobster sauce for dinner yum

[rifleman13]

Granted, the shrimp came from the harbor (actually near a dry dock) and the sauce was "recycled" from a dumpster... Bon appetite!

I wish for an unlimited quantity of legal tender currency...

[Platapus]

I wish for an unlimited quantity of legal tender currency...

Granted, here is your fortune... in pennies....dropped on your head...all at the same time

I wish my internet connection would not be dropping so much tonight

[Task Force]

Granted It is dorpping all tomorrow.

i wish I could stop feeling like we were on are boat still.:-?

[Raptor1]

Granted, you now feel like a ton of pennies have been dropped on your head

I wish I could successfully circumnavigate the globe with only a spoon and a rubber duck in 10 days

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you could....but only if the airline allowed you to inflate your rubber duck inflight.

I wish work was finished before it started.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but that means only work in cue can be done.

I wish that people weren't lazy.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but that means only work in cue can be done.

I wish that people weren't lazy.


Granted, they are now hardworking. But they just can't seem to find a job. They can't help you with housework right now, either, because they have a stomachache. But they'll do it first thing tommorrow. Oh wait, they forgot they had a thing tommorrow. Well, they'll get back to lyou later about it. Also, could you bring them a beer?

Their feet hurt, too.

Please?
------------------
I wish I could invent something useful.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but the beer is poisoned with the blood of a cow that's been rotting for a week in the hot sun of the Great Plains.

I wish that people could never lie.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they often stand as well.

I wish this horrible bitch sitting opposite me hadn't asked for a lift to the doctors.

[TarJak]

Granted, she want's a lift home to yours for a bit of how's yer father.

I wish Jim would stop going on about the bitch sitting opposite him.

[rifleman13]

Granted, but then he started blabbing about another horrible bitch sitting beside him... :lol:

I wish that I have an authentic, functional, indestructible, never will go ape on me WWII Jeep with a working .50 cal M2 Browning...

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but then he started blabbing about another horrible bitch sitting beside him... :lol:

I wish that I have an authentic, functional, indestructible, never will go ape on me WWII Jeep with a working .50 cal M2 Browning...

Granted, you're a fat, divorced, obsessed American WW2 re-enactor whose only joy in life is the jeep he will have to maitain for the short bit of his life that remains before he dies of a heart-attack. Also you must feel shamed that German re-enactors have cooler unifroms and gear. And for once, they outnumber Americans.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you die horribly for breaking the rules of the thread

I wish UnderseaLcpl would learn how to play, again

[rifleman13]

Granted, UnderseaLcpl now adheres to the thread rules and every time you, Raptor1, post a dream, no one but him can crush it, over, and over and over for all eternity...

I wish for someone to crush this wish in the most crushing manner possible...

[Randomizer]

Granted, your wish is crushed against a black hole by a dozen neutron stars travelling at 90% of the velocity of light. It is then chopped up, ground into a powder, mixed with swamp sludge and eaten by a small yappy dog.

I wish the light at the end of the tunnel was not an oncoming train.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it is now the police helicopter's searchlight, they finally got to you

I wish the Commies would all die

[rifleman13]

Granted, but then we have a problem with Fascists!

I wish Red China would have a very embarrasing Olympics...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but still less embarrasing than some other countries I suspect.

I wish lead was soluble.

[nikimcbee]

Granted, but still less embarrasing than some other countries I suspect.

I wish lead was soluble.

Granted, but it changes form to this:
http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/681/bucktwiki01fp4.jpg (http://imageshack.us/)

...and you get lead poisoning.


I wish i had an army of umpa lumpa twinki robots.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but like their not-so-distant cousins from page 40, they too are treacherous and overthrow you as soon as you almost win

I wish Bernard would get transferred to a boat not under my command

[nikimcbee]

Granted, but like their not-so-distant cousins from page 40, they too are treacherous and overthrow you as soon as you almost win

I wish Bernard would get transferred to a boat not under my command

Granted, but after a board of review, Bernard is given command of a boat and you are the junior member on that boat.

I wish I could have another tamale.

[rifleman13]

Granted, but you'll have to pay for it!

I wish for a free, untainted, easy to reach, glass of not-scathingly warm chocolate...

[Randomizer]

Granted, but as you go to take a sip, the handle of the mug breaks and your free, untainted, easy to reach, glass of not-scathingly warm chocolate lands on your computer. This creates a cascading series of failures that wrecks your system and destroys all of your data.

I wish there was enough free lager for all to have their fill, including me!

[Raptor1]

Granted, but we all have the sense not to drink so much while you get so drunk you enter a railroad tunnel and get squished by a train

I wish I had authentic un-ruined, un-ruinable color photographs of the Battle of Lissa

[Task Force]

Granted. But they are the photos of two woman fighting. One is named Lissa.

I wish I could have a magic button that would make anything happen that i tell it.:D

[rifleman13]

Granted! We, the Subsim community, gladly contributed in acquiring your precious photographs of both battles (1811 and 1866) but as per the contract you signed, you are now a slave to more than 30,000+ Radioroom members.

DAMMIT: Beaten by Task_Force!

Granted, as you push the button, an airlock opens and you are sucked into oblivion!

I wish Raptor1 would specify what battle of Lissa is he referring to...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it fails because you press a button, you don't talk to it.

I wish liquids weren't absorbable.

[Task Force]

Granted. But you spill your drink all over your floor and cant clean it up.

I wish termites didnt exsist.;)

[Tango589]

Granted, but it fails because you press a button, you don't talk to it.

I wish liquids weren't absorbable.

Granted, but it now becomes impossible to wash yourself with any form of flannel, sponge or rag-on-a-stick, so you live out your days grubby and stinky until you die of thirst as your body cannot absorb water.

I wish I could type a reply without having to go back and correct all of my mistakes.

Bloody hell, beaten by Task Force. I should learn to type faster!

Granted, but now giant wood eating ferrets have set up camp in your home and are starting their feast.....now.

[nikimcbee]

Granted, but it fails because you press a button, you don't talk to it.

I wish liquids weren't absorbable.

Granted, but it now becomes impossible to wash yourself with any form of flannel, sponge or rag-on-a-stick, so you live out your days grubby and stinky until you die of thirst as your body cannot absorb water.

I wish I could type a reply without having to go back and correct all of my mistakes.

Bloody hell, beaten by Task Force. I should learn to type faster!

Granted, but now giant wood eating ferrets have set up camp in your home and are starting their feast.....now.

Granted, but do you really want dowly over at your house?

I wish I could see these guys in concert:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izCMnl-o1Ng&feature=related

[Tango589]

Granted, but Jimbuna recognises you, calls you up on stage and embarrases the hell out of you in a variety of strange ways.

I wish my cats weren't gradually trying to ruin the house.

[Raptor1]

Uh oh, Tango finally lost it

EDIT: Nevermind

Granted, he stops gradually trying and destroys it immediately with some TNT (As part of the 2nd cat invasion)

I wish Tango would stop escalating the conflict

[Tango589]

Uh oh, Tango finally lost it
I wish Tango would stop escalating the conflict

Raptor, I lost it years ago mate, but it hasn't stopped me yet..

Granted, but I try neutralising the conflict by adding a highly trained batallion of small, yappy combat dogs to the war.

I wish the small, yappy combat dogs would be victorious then leave, never to return or cause the destruction of the universe or anything.

[Raptor1]

Granted, they leave and are never able to return in order to help with the upcoming 3rd Invasion

I wish my Cat-proof Bunker will be ready by then

[STEED]

Granted no cat can get in your house ever again just a bloody shame your house is full of them and they can not get out.

I want this thread LOCKED

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but your locked inside it....so there http://imgcash4.imageshack.us/img144/3336/tonguecm5.gif

I wish yesterday would come the day before.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it is now...Tuesday, the day of your execution

I wish I could be the executioner

[STEED]

Granted but your next for the block

I wish for a ?

[Jimbuna]

Granted, take yer pick.

http://img390.imageshack.us/img390/60/megoriddlerqh2.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

I wish the dog will sleep underneath the bed tonight.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but the monster under the bed wakes up from it and takes the damn dog to his cave, where he eats him (note that the cave is located in the 9th dimension, so you're not reachin' him...).

I wish that cake tasted like cookies and cookies tasted like pizza.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but since the cake is a lie it causes a paradox which destroys the universe, again

I wish Paradox's Victoria and Hearts of Iron weren't so addicting

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you hate their music now.

I wish that Zero didn't enjoy clawing at my eyelids when I'm giving him kisses...

[Raptor1]

Granted, he now enjoys clawing for your brain instead

I wish I knew what music Stealth Hunter was talking about

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but I really don't know since I'm not up and with the times and things the kids are listening to these days; I'm assuming you're referring to music of some sort (yeah... I mainly stick with Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Wagner, Schubert, Vivaldi, and whatnot; I'm not a big fan of any other music that is not classical, though I do enjoy some of the music from the '60s and early '70s).

I wish that I was up with the times.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but times are not really that great. In fact they suck; you're miserable and pining for the good old days that never were in the first place. Those around you believe that your mind has gone and you are committed to an institution where you are fed a steady diet of psychotropic drugs until your brain explodes.

I wish I wasn't drinking my last beer right now.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, you're drinking your 2nd to last beer ever right now.

I wish beer came in bigger bottles.

[Platapus]

I wish beer came in bigger bottles.

Granted but then beer comes in 10,000 gallon bottles that you can't lift.

I wish peanut butter would not stick to the roof of my mouth

[Randomizer]

Granted, your mouth no longer has a roof and all of your feeding is done through a tube.

I wish unicorns and dragons roamed the land.

[Task Force]

Granted but then abunch of anti unicorn and dragon groups take you prisioner.

I wish that cats barked and dogs meowed.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but due to complications with their vocal cords all the cats and dogs die as soon as they attempt to make a noise

I wish

[TarJak]

Wish granted and duly crushed.

I wish I knew what Raptor1 wished for.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but you find it trivial, boring and already duly crushed. It was so meaningless that it causes you to drink heavily and suffer horrible hangovers.

I wish somebody would really find a Sasquatch.

[Jimbuna]

I wish I knew what Raptor1 wished for.

Granted, but you still fail to understand.

I wish fuel was edible.

[Task Force]

Granted Fuel is now ediable. But you get gas from it.

I wish cars ran on Natural gas.:lol: The realy natural type.

[Tango589]

Granted Fuel is now ediable. But you get gas from it.

I wish cars ran on Natural gas.:lol: The realy natural type.

Granted, but the ensuing stink gets you hounded by environmental groups from here to next christmas and in the end they solve the problem by sealing up your 'exhaust' with concrete, making you too heavy to move ever again.

I wish the built-in spell checker didn't try to tell me I had spelt christmas incorrectly.

[nikimcbee]

Granted Fuel is now ediable. But you get gas from it.

I wish cars ran on Natural gas.:lol: The realy natural type.

Granted, but the ensuing stink gets you hounded by environmental groups from here to next christmas and in the end they solve the problem by sealing up your 'exhaust' with concrete, making you too heavy to move ever again.

I wish the built-in spell checker didn't try to tell me I had spelt christmas incorrectly.

Granted, but it deletes a random file every time you don't capitalize correctly.

I wish I could get a job at samsung, then I'd only be a few hours from the subsim world headquarters.:up: Plus I'd becomae a transplant Texan!:hmm:

[Raptor1]

Granted, you are now floor-scrubbing boy number #1624, get cleaning

I wish I knew who really killed Manfred von Richthofen

[Tango589]

Granted, you are now floor-scrubbing boy number #1624, get cleaning

I wish I knew who really killed Manfred von Richthofen

Granted, it was Lee Harvey Oswald and some other bloke behind the grassy knoll.

I wish real life had background music.

[Jimbuna]

Gtanted, but in your area it's the Bay City Rollers.

I wish kangaroo meat tasted better.

[Task Force]

Granted Kangroo meat tastes so good that they go extinct. Now everyone wants it and there is no more to go around.

I wish I had a wish that was not crush/burn/melt/or anything that could ruin it.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it's not this one

I wish for pizza

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it's raw because you forgot to ask for a cooked one.

I wish that bitch from work would ring in sick tomorrow.

[Tango589]

Granted, but she carries the Bubonic Plague which she has now spread to your entire office. Bring out your dead!

I wish there was a cure for Bubonic Plague apart from Carpet Bombing...

[Raptor1]

Granted, it's nuclear bombing

I wish Jimbuna would take a pistol and kill that bitch from work already

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but the thing jams and she walks free to live another day.

I wish it was easier to get ones point across.

[Randomizer]

Delete: Granted but she called in sick with Bubonic Plague so without a target he goes Raptor hunting instead.

Insert: Granted, now people undertstand your point but they no longer care.

I wish there was money to be made crushing dreams.

(OTOH, I'm glad Dream #1837 escaped crushing)

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the Sasquatch, now a retired cage fighter after his stunning defeat of Hitler, Himmler and Rommel under the alias of "Bigfoot", he goes into the dream crushing business and makes us all go bankrupt

I wish the above didn't happen

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it didn't.

I wish I was a convincing liar.

[STEED]

Granted now the world knows you got a little one.

I want nothing from the world.

[Tango589]

Granted, you get nothing from the world so you eek out a sorry existence living naked in a cave eating any moss or fungus you can find.

I wish I had the right stuff.

[Platapus]

I wish I had the right stuff.

Granted but you would end up putting it in the wrong place.

I wish I did not know what was in hotdogs.

[STEED]

Granted but you now know the secret of Soyent Green. :eek:

I want to have a boring day.

[Platapus]

I want to have a boring day.

Granted but wait until you find out what part of your body is being bored and how big the boring drill bit is.

I wish my pen could automatically spell check what I write.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it doesn't tell you what's wrong, just stops you from writing any more

I wish you...no, not you...yeah, you in the corner, would die

[STEED]

Granted now your in the electric chair frying your balls off.

I wish jimbuna got more drunk as he is so funny drunk.

[Randomizer]

New page - new dreams to crush...

Granted, he gets more drunk and then is sick all over you. Everybody seems to think this is very funny, you are not so sure.

I wish M$ had to pay you $100.00 everytime you got the BSOD from Windows.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but to avoid the complications Micro$oft changes the BSOD's background to red, thereby making it the RSOD

I wish trees grew on money

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you don't have an orchard because your skint.

I wish I knew why toast always landed on the floor butter side down.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it causes you to waste 5 minutes of your life, which you will NEVER get back.

I wish that I had a reason for being here.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but now that you have a reason you have lost your last chance to escape

I wish the universe would be destroyed

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted. It's destroyed. Nothing exists, and nobody ever really cared since it has been wished for so many times.

I wish that I could travel to any year I wanted to and then come right back without seriously changing history.

[TarJak]

Granted, but those non serious changes you made have meant that you are now Robert Mugabe's father and everyone who lives in Zimbabwe wishes you had kept it in your pants.

I wish Stealth Hunter had kept it in his pants.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but those non serious changes you made have meant that you are now Robert Mugabe's father and everyone who lives in Zimbabwe wishes you had kept it in your pants.

I wish Stealth Hunter had kept it in his pants.

Granted, but his book of great pick-up lines wears a hole in his pants pocket and falls to the ground and is picked up by Michael Moore, resulting in a population explosion of the world's idiots.


I wish the Brits would stop calling pants "knickers"

[Jimbuna]

Granted, we now copy of you and call them panties.

I wish it would rain horizontally.

[nikimcbee]

Granted, we now copy of you and call them panties.

I wish it would rain horizontally.

Granted, but you failed math and you can't remember the difference between horizontal and vertical (The X, Y axis thingy):know:

I wish I thought cows 2.0, the chocolate ice cream mod. (see political thread)
http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=140366

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, we now copy of you and call them panties.

I wish it would rain horizontally.


Granted, you are lying down.

I wish loitering was punishable by fun


darn, niki beat me :(

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted. If by "fun" you mean a 3 year prison sentence with some mentally challenged black man in your cell who is nicknamed "Apey", then yeah, it will be fun.:up:

I wish that people weren't so arrogant.

[nikimcbee]

A double wish!!!!

Thread broken....

Eject!
Eject!
Eject!


Thank you for using the Buna Ejection system, please light fuse now.

[nikimcbee]

A double wish!!!!

Thread broken....

Eject!
Eject!
Eject!


Thank you for using the Buna Ejection system, please light fuse now.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted. You eject successfully, but your parachute doesn't open.:x

I wish that "kaniggits" was a word.

[nikimcbee]

okay somebody needs to call maintence:up:

[Raptor1]

By the power of Raptor1, Lord of the Thread, I erase the above wishes except for the last one

Granted, but it means "One who eats pizza"

I wish this is okay

[nikimcbee]

Thread back on line. Double posters being feed spam for three weeks as a countermeasure.

[Stealth Hunter]

By the power of Raptor1, Lord of the Thread, I erase the above wishes except for the last one

Granted, but it means "One who eats pizza"

I wish this is okay

Granted, but it's not okay in some countries.

I wish that China would slide off into the ocean.

[nikimcbee]

By the power of Raptor1, Lord of the Thread, I erase the above wishes except for the last one

Granted, but it means "One who eats pizza"

I wish this is okay

Granted, but it's not okay in some countries.

I wish that China would slide off into the ocean.

Granted, but who would produce Chinese food?

I wish I had a bowl of blueberries.

[Raptor1]

Granted, they're rotten though

I wish I had a bowl of ICBMs

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but they're disarmed and don't work.

I wish that a cure for cancer had been found.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it gets lost somewhere in the Amazon jungle.

I wish my back wasn't itchy.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted. You have no back.

I wish that the name "Buna" wasn't so annoying... like the word "bunny"... which isn't really a word. THEY'RE CALLED "RABBITS", DAMMIT. "RABBITS". NOT "BUNNIES", "RABBITS"... SAY IT WITH ME NOW.

[nikimcbee]

Granted, but it gets lost somewhere in the Amazon jungle.

I wish my back wasn't itchy.

Granted, but steed needs a new job now. (As official buna back scratcher)

I wish I could type my story faster.

[Raptor1]

Granted, now it hurts unbearably

EDIT: Gah

Granted, but it turns out really bad, which annoys Stealth Hunter even more than the Buna name

I wish it was as fun as it used to be

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but I can't really grant that wish since I don't know what you're referring to.

I wish that I could become Lord of the Reich!

[nikimcbee]

Granted. You have no back.

I wish that the name "Buna" wasn't so annoying... like the word "bunny"... which isn't really a word. THEY'RE CALLED "RABBITS", DAMMIT. "RABBITS". NOT "BUNNIES", "RABBITS"... SAY IT WITH ME NOW.

Granted, he is now know as the Jim icky-icky zup-boing

[Stealth Hunter]

****, the thread is sinking.

RESTART THIS PAGE

[Raptor1]

Granted, but your new Reich is quickly annexed by the mighty Authoritarian Democratic Market Liberal Paternal Autocratic Fascist Imperialist Republic of Raptorland

I wish Stealth Hunter won't try to make a resistance

[nikimcbee]

Granted, but I can't really grant that wish since I don't know what you're referring to.

I wish that I could become Lord of the Reich!

Granted, but instead you are known as Lord of the Dance:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJGiikasvgM

Actual footage:up:


I wish I could quit posting here and work on my u-boat story.:arrgh!:

[Raptor1]

Granted, thereby stopping the madness

Proceed

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, you proceed, but it's a trap!

I wish that the music I'm listening to wasn't so addicting.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you are now addicted to Victoria and Hearts of Iron

I wish I knew where the Blitzkrieg Express is going...

[rifleman13]

Granted, it's chugging along and suddenly bogged down while going to Stalingrad...

I wish Harvey Lee Oswald or any (possible or fictional) other shooter(s) didn't shot Kennedy...

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, it's chugging along and suddenly bogged down while going to Stalingrad...

I wish Harvey Lee Oswald or any (possible or fictional) other shooter(s) didn't shot Kennedy...

Granted, they blew him up.

I wish I could talk to animals..........:shifty:



and they could understand me
and they could talk to me
and I would understand what they said

[Raptor1]

Granted, but they collectively hate you, so they decide to never speak to you again

I wish for something else

[Jimbuna]

I wish that the name "Buna" wasn't so annoying... like the word "bunny"... which isn't really a word. THEY'RE CALLED "RABBITS", DAMMIT. "RABBITS". NOT "BUNNIES", "RABBITS"... SAY IT WITH ME NOW.

<Right to reply>

Do you know what means/stands for? :hmm:

There is a very serious/valid reason for the name :yep:

I wish this thread to carry on now.....horizontally.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but they collectively hate you, so they decide to never speak to you again

I wish for something else

Granted, but the something else is a plague of killer bunnies that ravage Raptorland. The peasants are revolting (what do you expect, it's Raptorland!) and you are removed from your place as Lord of the Thread and replaced by a cute but irritating smiley.

I wish the Cat would stay off the roof.

[Raptor1]

Granted, because the roof is now full of landmines

I wish not to wish until I choose otherwise

[nikimcbee]

Granted, because the roof is now full of landmines

I wish not to wish until I choose otherwise

Granted, but http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1Y73sPHKxw&feature=related

I wish I had treefiddy for lunch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plShzNaq9wk

[TarJak]

Granted, you do but you lose it later after looking at Hunter's post in the Photo Captions thread.

I wish Hunter hadn't posted that shot.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, he faxed it instead.

I wish all creations were equal.

[Task Force]

Granted but you are now equial to a Roach so I must Squish you...

I wish I had a bigger boat.:D

[rifleman13]

Granted, you are now transported to that fateful night in 1912 aboard RMS Titanic.

I wish the weather would be great tomorrow...

[Task Force]

Granted Its so great that you go outside and you get sunburned.

I wish I could actualy use the TDC in Sh3/4 so I could stop doing it WW1 style.

[Randomizer]

Granted, you are fully checked out on the TDC. Too bad that from now on, all your hits will result in duds.

I wish I could have a beer with Socrates.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but he doesn't know how much beer has improved over the centuries, and when he takes a sip, it's so good that he becomes addicted to it. He drinks and drink and drinks. Eventually, he dies from alcohol poisoning.

I wish that I could play the flute.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but he doesn't know how much beer has improved over the centuries, and when he takes a sip, it's so good that he becomes addicted to it. He drinks and drink and drinks. Eventually, he dies from alcohol poisoning.

I wish that I could play the flute.


Granted, but it finds out that you've been seeing the Oboe on the side. It cleans out your bank account and disappears from your life forever.

I wish I could read music.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you can't read anything else BUT classical sheet music.

I wish that illiterates could write for free help.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but none can understand what they have written.

I wish that HAL would open the pod-bay doors.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but he's killed everyone else off.

I wish that there is and never was a god except for Apollo.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but there are a lot of wannabes awaiting the delivery of your soul.

I wish reincarnation was evident.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you will brought back as a horsefly.

I wish that Pavarotti was still alive.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but you will brought back as a horsefly.

I wish that Pavarotti was still alive.


Granted, men the world over are dragged to operas to see him. Finally, in 2009 they have had enough, and assassinate him. Then they assassinate you when it is discovered that you were the reson for his continued existence. Phillistines.

I wish blondeness was not considered inversely proportional to intelligence.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but that only goes for blonde Germans, not Americans.

I wish that I was in the year 1916 in Turkey.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, it's 1916 and you are molesting a turkey. Passersby wonder what is wrong with you.


I wish it were punishable by death to dot "i"'s with hearts.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but so many young girls are executed that the human race nearly dies out.

I wish that I was in January 1918 and fighting for Germany as part of Jasta 5.

[Raptor1]

Granted, welcome to Gallipoli, have fun in the ANZAC

EDIT: Arrgh

Granted, but you are shot down by a Nieuport 17

I wish I was Admiral of the Fleet

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted. You're Maximilian von Spee. The year is 1914, and you're fighting off the coast of South America. Your fleet is battered to a pulp, and your ship sinks with you on the bridge. The sea pours in, and you are taken to your death along with your two sons.

I wish that I could be Fritz Rumey.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you collide with an S.E.5 and die while the other pilot survives...

I wish I was General of the Army

[Randomizer]

Granted, you are now General of the Kiss Army.

I wish napalm in the morning really did smell like Victory.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, you are now General of the Kiss Army.

I wish napalm in the morning really did smell like Victory.

Granted. It smells like victory for your enemies.


I wish we could all just get along.

[Raptor1]

Granted, we all get along just fine...in the grave

I wish the Arado 234 didn't explode whenever you change the throttle

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but some of us get a short.

I wish that response was funny.

[Tango589]

Granted, but some of us get a short.

I wish that response was funny.

Granted, but it was as funny as arse-surgery.

I wish Raptor1 was kidnapped and probed by martians.

[Jimbuna]

Granted http://img413.imageshack.us/img413/1598/126yf7.gif (http://imageshack.us)

I wish you were next.

[Raptor1]

Granted, and you are after him

I wish Tango would suffer the wores't possible punishment imaginable while I don't suffer anything or get harmed in any way

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, and you are after him

I wish Tango would suffer the wores't possible punishment imaginable while I don't suffer anything or get harmed in any way


Granted, Tango has to listen to you for at least 5 minutes:D

I wish I knew more about stuff.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you weren't specific enough, so I guess I'll just have to give you the definition for stuff: junk.

I wish that I had a TV dinner.

[Raptor1]

Granted, do you want a 19" or a 21" TV for dinner?

I wish I could wish

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but all your wishes will be crushed.

I wish for a 21" TV dinner.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, lcd or tft ?

I wish the march hare was born in February.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but a massive invasion of wild dogs occurs, and the March Hare becomes extinct.

I wish that I had a 21" TV dinner tray WITH edible food...

[Randomizer]

Granted, your 21" tray is stacked with edible worms, slugs, bugs and tofu.

I wish for internet spammers to suffer lingering, painful and messy deaths.

[nikimcbee]

Granted, your 21" tray is stacked with edible worms, slugs, bugs and tofu.

I wish for internet spammers to suffer lingering, painful and messy deaths.

Granted, but the smell of spam lingers for weeks.

I wish you guys would get to the point.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MMXvU4O9OA&feature=related

Actual debate footage from the GT forum. And that would be nurse Ratchett, the moderator.

[nikimcbee]

Granted, but some of us get a short.

I wish that response was funny.

Granted, but it was as funny as arse-surgery.

I wish Raptor1 was kidnapped and probed by martians.


Actual Steed footage of his night time activites:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkKjV47tJHY&feature=related


Poor Steed

[Task Force]

Granted we get the point, But then we also dont get the point.(I know this is the worst crush of my dreamm crushing carear.:lol:)

I wish what the total number of posts in subsim history was.:yep:

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, the total number of posts in subsim history is so big the just thinking about the number alone would kill someone!


I wish i owned the moon

[Task Force]

Granted but someone steals it when it goes to the other side of the earth.:yep:

I wish I owned the univurse and everything in it(except people), and it couldnt be stolen.:D

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, but a 60ft robot Hitler from an alternate universe destroys our universe and everything in it (including people) with his race of Ayran-daleks.


I wish I was Kiaser willhem.

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish I was Kiaser willhem.



Granted. You're dead.

I wish Scientology would go away

[Randomizer]

Granted, it goes away from the rest us and moves into your house with all its celebrity believers.

I wish I had a Big Box of real, not counterfeit, not poisoned or cursed, non-exploding or universe-ending $20.00 bills.

[Task Force]

Granted, it goes away from the rest us and moves into your house with all its celebrity believers.

I wish I had a Big Box of real, not counterfeit, not poisoned or cursed, non-exploding or universe-ending $20.00 bills.

Granted but you forgot about burning, Now you have a huge box of burned $20.00 bills.:lol:

I wish I could understand algebra better than I do.:D

[TarJak]

Granted, you now understand it well enough to know you'll never need it during real life.

I wish algebra was needed more.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you don't understand it at all

I wish them Germans would stop intercepting my convoys

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is now the turn of the Japanese.

I wish I knew what came next.

[TarJak]

Granted you know that my dreamcrush comes next.

I wish my team would win tonight instead of losing.

[rifleman13]

Granted, but the their victory party is held at your house, and it will be a insanely, out-of-this-world, wild kind, never in your wildest dreams kind of party that will ultimately end with the destruction of your house...

I wish the politically-extreme Left and the politically-extreme Right didn't exist...

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, the world lives in a blissful era of happiness and peace but aliens from mars invade and counquer us.


I wish i had my own private army.

[TarJak]

Granted but after 5 mins of you being their commander the perform a military coup and you are executed.

I wish the Olympic opening ceremony was shorter.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but your army is an army of one with you as the only conscript.

I wish mediocracy was fashionable.

[Randomizer]

Double-crush!
TarJak wrote:
I wish the Olympic opening ceremony was shorter.
Granted, all Olympic venues and athletes have been shrunken to a mere 10% of life size.

Jimbuna wrote:
I wish mediocracy was fashionable.
Granted, mediocracy is now mandatory for all university professors, political leaders, nuclear engineers and airline pilots.

I wish science could cure stupidity.

[Raptor1]

Granted, by killing everyone stupid, starting with you (No offense)

I wish I would not get sent to the gulag

[Tango589]

Granted, by killing everyone stupid, starting with you (No offense)

I wish I would not get sent to the gulag

Granted, you are executed at dawn instead.

I wish I had more time at the pub.

[nikimcbee]

Granted, by killing everyone stupid, starting with you (No offense)

I wish I would not get sent to the gulag

Granted, you are executed at dawn instead.

I wish I had more time at the pub.

Granted, but there was a small type-o and you get more time with a:
http://www.pink-world.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/pug9.jpg


I wish I could get ready for camping faster.

[Randomizer]

Granted, you are all ready to go camping, just as three days of heavy, unseasonable snow hits.

I wish I owned a Ring of Power.

OT and unrelated to any person, place or thing around here:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/local_idiot_to_post_comment_on

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, you are all ready to go camping, just as three days of heavy, unseasonable snow hits.

I wish I owned a Ring of Power.


Granted, you owned it for 2 seconds as you plunged into the heart of a volcano. Congrats Smeagol.


I wish the puppy would quit chewing stuff up.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, the strange man that hangs about in your street offers to train it but both the puppy and the man are never seen again.

I wish I could travel through time.

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish I could travel through time.

Granted, you get to move from the present to the future at the exact same rate a severyone else on the planet.

I wish that man would take good care of my puppy.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, the puppy is so happy that it doesn't want to return to you.

I wish all diseases had a cure.

[Tango589]

Granted, but because no-one gets sick any more the world's health services collapse. Then one day, a single case of hairyitis is discovered. It then spreads unchecked and with each passing day more people succumb to it until the whole of earth's population is wiped out in one great hairy mess.

I wish I could think of a better crush than the frankly rather lame 'hairyitis'.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but because no-one gets sick any more the world's health services collapse. Then one day, a single case of hairyitis is discovered. It then spreads unchecked and with each passing day more people succumb to it until the whole of earth's population is wiped out in one great hairy mess.

I wish I could think of a better crush than the frankly rather lame 'hairyitis'.

Granted, but it;'s not much better so you let me do it instead and I say;

Granted, all diseases are wiped out. The resulting overpopulation results in a drastic increase in civil war, genocide and famine to compensate.


I wish things were easy.

[Randomizer]

Granted, things become so easy that any idiot could run the whole show and inevitably, one gets put in charge. Unfortunately, when something becomes idiot-proof Nature's response is to evolve a better idiot and the world descends into greater chaos, confusion and despair.

I wish the world made sense.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it's 'idiotic sense'

I wish flowers were nomadic.

[Tango589]

Granted, but it's 'idiotic sense'

I wish flowers were nomadic.

Granted, but they all migrate to Kew Gardens.

I wish beer wasn't fattening.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but they all migrate to Kew Gardens.

I wish beer wasn't fattening.

Granted, it now makes you anorexic instead.

I wish I hadn't just crushed a beer dream and destroyed a small part of the collective soul of mankind.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you only imagined you did.

I wish the fighting would stop in Georgia.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but they'll find something else to fight over in the future.

I wish that I was immortal.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but they'll find something else to fight over in the future.

I wish that I was immortal.


Granted, but "there can only be one" and it's not you.


I wish all heavy furniture had carrying handles.

[rifleman13]

Granted, but when the world ends, you are going to be fed up with all of your current interests you will be all alone with no one to talk to. Over time, the eerie silence will drive you mad and you try to commit suicide to end the torment of loneliness, but you can't!

I wish for the ability to control other people's minds and use that ability for total global domination...

[Raptor1]

Granted, but since most people don't have minds it doesn't quite work

I wish more people had minds

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but they're still the defective kind.

I wish I hadn't just come across that bloody Q Ship.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but Bond will still find a way to catch you.

I wish that I had a nickel.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but I have a dime

I wish I had a gold nugget for every wish crushed

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but the nuggets turn out to be Fool's Gold (also known as Pyrite).

I wish that the color of this pen is red.

[JHuschke]

Granted, the pen is red but it writes white..which you see nothing!


I wish to become the future dictator of America..hehe :hmm:

[Raptor1]

Granted, you become the Future Dictator of America, a bad character in a B-Movie who's budget is $27.50 dollars

I wish I could wish for something that sounds smart

[Randomizer]

Granted, to you, your wish sounds absolutely brilliant but to the rest of the world it just sounds dumb. And it is easily crushed without ending all life as we know it.

I wish the local theatre was showing Future Dictator of America starring G00BER.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, to you, your wish sounds absolutely brilliant but to the rest of the world it just sounds dumb. And it is easily crushed without ending all life as we know it.

I wish the local theatre was showing Future Dictator of America starring G00BER.


Granted, but since it is a terrible movie with a budget of $27.50, the projected audience is only you. As such, your ticket costs $53.00. And you spilled your $5.00 soda all over your new pants.

I wish I really could get the milk for free.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it's the kind of milk that drinks YOU

I wish milk wasn't so carnivorous

I HEREBY OFFICIALLY DECLARE THE BEGINNING OF THE NEXT 100 PAGES!

[TarJak]

Granted, but the kitty you just served it to is and you've lost a hand.

I wish I didn't have to go to the shops to buy milk.

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish I didn't have to go to the shops to buy milk.

Granted, now you have to go to the south pole to buy milk.

I wish chocolate milk came from chocolate cows.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but now your chocolate steak from a chocolate cow melts into your barbeque causing a major conflagration that destroys your home and burns supper at the same time.

I wish the milk store at the south pole was really on the equator.

Crushed Dream nineteen eighty-four: Big Brother is watching...

[ubootcomrade]

I wish the milk store at the south pole was really on the equator.


Granted, but the hot tempratures cause the milk to go sour.

I wish I was 9ft tall.

[Task Force]

Granted but you keep hitting your head on the cealing in a 8 foot tall room, or most rooms for that matter.;)

I wish for it to not rain today(sence its 12:00 where I live) and but it will still rain just not today.;)

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, it doesnt rain today, theres a blizzard intead


I wish I was the Reincarnation of Kiaser willhem and I was the Glorious leader of the empire of tellytubby land.

[TarJak]

Granted, now take your, moustache, hand bag and scooter and bugger off!

I wish tellytubbies were less adorable.

[Tango589]

Granted, they are now 18' tall razor fanged killing machines that scare the cr*p out of that baby who lives in the sun. And they're coming for YOU!

I wish my mind wasn't quite so...odd.

[rifleman13]

Granted, now your mind is quite weird...

I wish for something to wish for ... (other than this wish...)

[Tango589]

Granted, now your mind is quite weird...

I wish for something to wish for ... (other than this wish...)

Granted. You wish for me to have post #1991.

I wish I had wished fro something a bit more worthwhile.

[rifleman13]

Granted! Now you are living a long, uneventful, productive but boring life with no SH3/4 to worry about...

I wish that I could claim the 2000th post...

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it's not nearly as glamorous as I claimed the 1000th post

I wish ubootcomrade would learn to spell Kaiser Wilhelm (No offence)

[Randomizer]

Granted, but showing off his new-found spelling skills he makes Dream Crushing post #2000, denying Raptor1, who so dearly wants it, that honour.

I wish a big Bald Eagle would carry off the yappy little mutt next door.

[rifleman13]

Granted, but that Eagle will dump the carcass on your front lawn...

I wish I could destroy my enemies with only my mind...

[Raptor1]

Granted, but since you don't really have any enemies your never ever use that power

I wish I could destroy my enemies by dropping 1,600-lbs bombs on them

[JALU3]

Granted, but that Eagle will dump the carcass on your front lawn...

I wish I could destroy my enemies with only my mind...

Granted . . . but you are so self-critical that you kill yourself.

I wish for some Pancit Palabok with Lumpia Shanghai on the side.

[JALU3]

Granted, but since you don't really have any enemies your never ever use that power

I wish I could destroy my enemies by dropping 1,600-lbs bombs on them

Granted, but they were standing next to you when the bomb was dropped and you all die.

I wish for Pork Adobo with a side of steamed white rice.

[TarJak]

Granted, but as they live next door, your house is caught in the blast.

I wish I could and did.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it didn't help with anything

I wish I'd get the 3,000th post too

(Note that my wish in Post #1000 came true)

[TarJak]

Granted, but now you are very tired after posting so many times.

I wish that frying was as easy as flying.

[rifleman13]

Oh well... I'll get the 3000th post... somehow...

In the meanwhile, let's crush dreams!

Can't help this, three uncrushed dreams...

I wish for some Pancit Palabok with Lumpia Shanghai on the side.
I wish for Pork Adobo with a side of steamed white rice.
Granted, the bonus is it will be freshly made here in the Philippines, the downside: it will be spoiled when it arrives there!
I wish that frying was as easy as flying.
Granted! You attended classes on frying and you seem to grasp the concepts. You install a fryer on your aircraft. While flying, you decide to fry some food and now your plane is engulfed in flames

I wish someone could call in an airstrike on those singing karaoke next door.