Game: Crush Each Other's Dreams

[Task Force]

Granted its real, but you are the only one who lives there.

I wish I had a wish that could not be crushed by Raptor1 ,Jimbuna, ubootcomrade, randomizer.;)

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it is stolen from your mind by the Foul Beasts from Beyond the Plains, which also incidentally lit DT's back deck on fire

I wish I knew where "Beyond the Plains" actually refers to

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but seeing as I control the genie, your wish will never come true.

http://img65.imageshack.us/img65/7717/thgenie9hylz3.gif (http://imageshack.us)

I wish my nib was full of spanish ink.

[Task Force]

Granted but it dosent work anyway.

I wish we would get a nice tropical storm for the next two days.:D

[Mush Martin]

sorry best we could do is Hawaiian punch for you.


I wish dt's son didnt charge me so much for that
last prank.

[Randomizer]

Granted but since the Foul Beasts from Beyond the Plain actually did the deed, the little fellow pockets your cash for doing nothing at all.

I wish the Foul Beasts from Beyond the Plain get caught up in the two-day tropical storm and get blown over to Taskforceland which becomes even more foul.

[Mush Martin]

Jeez whos your field commander rowdy yates?

Granted but a torrent of evil beast excrement gets
caught up and suspended in the air in liquified form
as the storm settles permanently over Randomizerburg


I wish I had a nose plug

[Task Force]

Granted but TaskForceland sends them TPS back to Ya.

I wish my grandmas plane would get stuck at the airport in Texas so she couldnt come here.:D

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it's not nearly enough to stop the Foul Beast's from Beyond the Plains...foulness (Which incidentally also knocked out the engines on Task Force's Grandmother's plane)

I wish the plains had hills

[Mush Martin]

Granted they are now liquified undulating from tectonic attack from the
diabolical laboratories of Mushyland, causing all your forces to be buried
ten feet under the earth.

I wish y'all werent too slow :rotfl:

[Task Force]

Granted now were to fast.

I wish my grandma wasnt ariveing tomorrow. (or today,Or for the next 5 years).:D

[NealT]

Granted, but the next thing you know you are moved by your company and put up in her house for the next 20 years.

I wish pizza had more calories.

[Task Force]

granted you eat to much of it and gain 400 lbs.

I tomorow was today and today was the day after tomorow and the day after tommorow was yesterday.:D

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but now we are as confused as you.

I wish Task Force would go to bed.

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish Task Force would go to bed.

Granted, and he's waiting for you........

I wish all bellybuttons were "innies"

[TarJak]

Granted, all the outies get pushed in and start to cause a massive over production of bellybutton lint causing a run of the lint futures market and collapsing your personal economy

I wish frankfurters weren't people too

[Randomizer]

Granted and all commercial frankfurters are recalled when traces of real meat are found in one.

I wish that the Wiz was a wiz of a Wiz if ever a Wiz there was.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but he died last week (Didn't you see the obituary?)

I wish the police will never find out what really killed him

[Koondawg]

Granted the police never find out what really killed him, which turns out to be a plague thus consuming raptorland...making it unsafe for billions of years


I wish concrete was soft

[TarJak]

Granted, it is soft when compared to diamonds so when you hit the pavement it will still hurt

I wish our national sport was dream crushing

[headcase]

Granted, But you'll have to work for the Employment Office to really make it happen. And even then it's a bad roll of the dice.

[Tango589]

I wish Headcase had remembered to wish for something so I could crush it.

[HunterICX]

Granted, you made the wish for him and I crushed it

I wish them darn lawnmowers would stop making such a noise as they are working right in front of my shop

HunterICX

[Koondawg]

Granted the lawnmowers go away never to return which leaves your grass growing so high no-one can see your little shop of horrors anymore...you go out of business to become a live-in bum at the airport...

I wish people who play this game could remember how to play it...:rotfl:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but tjey soon forget again and you experience groundhog day feelings.

I wish the mighty were weak.

[NealT]

Granted, the mighty are weak but that means the weak become the mighty which means they become weak which means they become mighty but then become weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty and then weak and then mighty...

I wish today were Thursday.

[TarJak]

Granted, It is Thursday where I am but still Wednesday where you are. At least until tomorrow...

I wish people were not stupid enough to become neo-facists

[kranz]

granted, they become communists and ruin this world

I wish all communists were dead.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you can have this rifle, go kill 'em

I wish all the commie bastards were dead

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you can have a pair of boxing gloves, now go and fight them.

I wish marmalade was jam.

[Tango589]

Granted, you can have a pair of boxing gloves, now go and fight them.

I wish marmalade was jam.

Granted, but now Jaffa Cakes have lost their appeal to me.

I wish I could brew my own beer.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it tastes horrible

I wish I had an ugbunkamontouk

[Blacklight]

Granted.. but no one knows what that is ! :D

I wish I was perfectly healthy.

[Tango589]

Granted, but you are killed by a bus just when you are at the very pinnacle of your health.

I wish I could make better use of OLC's GUI.

[Jimbuna]

Granted your as healthy as a flea.

I wish my name was unmentionable.

[Raptor1]

Granted, Tango uses OLC's GUI to sink Jimbuna's ship, the story is so tragic that his name cannot be mentioned ever again

I wish I had an army of Foul Beasts from Beyond the Plains

[Task Force]

Granted but they fight back.

I wish I had a baked Patato with salt and butter.:D

[Tango589]

Granted, but the potato is green so you are poisoned by it and the salt and butter conspire to raise your blood pressure and clog your heart.

I wish Task force had had a salad instead.

[Task Force]

Granted, but i just finished my patato. (just had dinner)

I wish there was no sutch thing as high blood pressure.

[Raptor1]

Granted, there's no such thing as blood pressure at all now, have fun

I wish I could sell blood pumping thingamajigers at ridiculously high prices to all the people who have no blood pressure

[Task Force]

Granted but, everyones dead including you.;)

I wish it was friday.:D

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, "it" is now "Friday", but at midnight on Thursday night we all go crazy because Friday's now it.

I wish Friday wasn't so easy to crush dreams, Friday's just not fair is Friday?

[Task Force]

Granted friday is so esay, There are no more dreams left to crush.;)

I wish that TODAY was friday.

[Randomizer]

Granted but now weekends start on Wednesday so Friday's are the new Monday's. Enjoy the work week just starting today.

I wish life had selective time compression and a pause switch.

[Mush Martin]

Granted but your using too high a tc and slam into the end of your
life at 4096 x tc which is unfortunate as You die in a middair collision
wich now adjusted for time compression results in an combined impact
speed of 5324800 mph turning you into a fine red mist on the wind that
blows away in about a four thousandth of a second.


I wish I Had a better closer for that crush

[Task Force]

Granted Friday is a realy good one, but friday is soon forgotten.

I wish I wasnt the only kid in school that likes subs and silent hunter.:D

[Randomizer]

Granted, there IS another kid at school who likes Silent Hunter and he just ate your copy. He likes subs too, the sandwich kind.

I wish applesauce was made with onions.

[Koondawg]

Granted applesauce is now made with onions which effects makes your breath even more tainted...now instead of frolicking in the crystal clear waterfalls and running through green meadows with naked nymphs your sitting all alone....


I wish bird crap slid off the car...

[TarJak]

Granted, it slides off the car onto your shoes

I wish for the absence of disbelief

[NealT]

Granted, but nobody believes you so everyone stares in disbelief.

I wish my son would get his own apartment.

[Koondawg]

Granted your son gets his own apt, creating the ultimate porn shoot location. He has fluffers in and out all hours of the day and night along with film crews, porn stars. Gets involved with alcohol, drugs and sex. Makes a million dollars but pisses it away on gambling and high priced hookers...goes broke and has to move back home again....


I wish hookers were free....

[Dowly]

I wish hookers were free....

Granted, hookers are free. Divorce rates go sky high with husbands and wifes cheating eachother.

I wish it'd be Friday already and I'd had 24pack of beer in the fridge. :yep:

[Kratos]

I wish it'd be Friday already and I'd had 24pack of beer in the fridge. :yep:

Granted: then yo mamma comes to do the laundry and takes your beer as payment.

I wish wasps didn't have stingers :x

[TarJak]

Granted, but stingers now invade UK waters. Those box jellyfish can be a real pain.

I wish Kratos doesn't get stung by either wasps or box jellyfish

[Randomizer]

Granted, instead he is devoured by a giant mutant Star-Goat on its way to a porn shoot at NealT's kids' apartment.

I wish I had a new hat.

[Koondawg]

Granted you get a new hat, which is made from weaved goat intestine....thus causing birds of all origins to land on it and pick it clean. They mistake your eyeballs for some goody intestines and pluck your eyes from their sockets...your blinded for life and thus cannot particiate in this or any other threads for the rest of your life....

I wished they have a translplant of sheep eyes ready for Randomizer...

[Task Force]

Granted but the sheep had record breaking bad vision.

I wish today was Jun 18, 2009, and the time was 11.45 am.:D

[Raptor1]

Granted, and you are in a Gulag near the Yenisei River

I wish being sent to the east was a legal form of punishment

[Task Force]

Granted but you are sent to the east by your job.

I wish for you all to go to mars.:D

[NealT]

Granted but you come along, all forget their spacesuits, and die.

I wish the idiots who got us into this financial mess would go to jail.

[TarJak]

Granted, That leave no-one who knows enough about the mess around to clean it up meaning we all go down the gurgler economicially

I wish the US economy was built on something more substantial than a tissue of lies

[NealT]

Granted, it is built on a pile of doggy doo doo.

I wish the political commercials would be banned from broadcast.

[Randomizer]

Granted, they are replaced with infomercials about hemorrhoid creams, adds for stewed dingo's kidneys and a documentory about rubber vomit factories in Botswannaland. Sounds like the start of a Golden Age for TV.

I wish for universal entropy to increase faster.

[Koondawg]

Granted but it cant increase much as when one does not know the value of the random variable.

I wished algebra was easier...

[Raptor1]

Granted, you did, but you don't wish for it anymore

I wish it always rained like it did just now

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but the world becomes flooded and the human race evolves to a creature with gills and webbed feet.

I wish the bitch sitting opposite me would go on an early lunch.

[Raptor1]

Granted, and she invites you to come as well

I wish someone else would murder the bitch sitting opposite to Jimbuna, since he is obviously incapable of that

[Koondawg]

Granted someone else murders the bitch sitting opposite to Jimbuna, since he is obviously incapable of that and gets caught, turns the dime on Jimbo...the arresting officer IS the fat bitch whos is sitting across from Jimbuna...she also performs a full cavity search upon booking him into the jail, not stopping till she hits the back of his molars...

I wish cavity searches were more user friendly...

[TarJak]

Granted, the big hairy bloke searching your cavity has gotten real friendly...

I wish I could get that image out of my head.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it involves invasive brain surgery

I wish I could legally perform invasive brain surgery on TarJak

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but your looking in the wrong area, you need to lower his trousers for easier access.

I wish I understood what I was thinking.

[kranz]

Granted, after understanding it you realise that is all bullshi* so you stop thinking.

I wish Jimuna's post counter was broken and stopped at 19,999

[NealT]

Granted but then the board breaks and every time he makes another post, everyone else's post count goes down.

I wish everyone would stop picking on TJ and start picking on me.

[Raptor1]

Granted, we will come over tomorrow to pick up your computer, 60" LCD TV and that nice sofa

I wish you wished I wished something

[Randomizer]

Granted but wish wishing for a third-party wishes places you in violation of the wish fulfillment clauses of the sacred collective agreement with the Genies, Magic Sprites and Leprechaun Union Local 1771. This causes a wildcat strike in protest and you are torn apart by a litter of wildcats.

I wish people were less careful of what they wish for.

[Koondawg]

Granted...now people wish stupid wishes and you being the only person left on earth carry a herpes simplex 10 virus...global warming doesn't cure it and now you and all the animals left on earth suffer....

I wished that there was a cure for herpes simplex 10

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but seeing as how you are riddled with syphilis, the cure is of absolutely no use to you.

I wish I owned the patent to a cure for the common cold.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you own the patent to a cure for the common cold, but no one gets a common cold any more, they get the uncommon one, so the cure is for nothing and the patent is worthless

I wish I knew where I left my sanity

[Jimbuna]

Granted, drop your trousers and bend over, then I should be able to replace it for you ;)

I wish I had a tin of tartan paint.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but you left the lid off and it completely solidified and is useless.

I wish ales and stouts could be used as tartan paint thinner.

[Task Force]

Granted but people start drinking paint and turn there teeth pretty colors.

I wish for one dollar and twenty cent.:up:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but they are Zimbabwean dollars and are therefore worthless.

I wish my every desire was achievable.

[Task Force]

Granted but you spend all your money while doing so and find out what it it is like to live in a cardboard box.;)

I wish I had $5 dollars and I was sitting in my house in the US.:D

[Platapus]

I wish I had $5 dollars and I was sitting in my house in the US.:D

Granted but $5.00 is all you have and your mortgage just went up. You will be evicted and on the street soon.

I wish we could get some smart people in congress who really care about doing a good job for the country.

[Task Force]

Granted but they dont care about you.;)

I wish for a scrambled egg, fully cooked with the sunny side up made perfectly the way I like them. With a nice glass of tea, and a pice of toast with butter and Jelly on it for breakfast tomorrow.:rock: :D

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have a scrambled egg, fully cooked with the sunny side up made perfectly the way you like them, with a nice glass of tea, and a piece of toast with butter and Jelly on it for breakfast tomorrow, but since, at midnight, tomorrow becomes today, you never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever get it

I wish I knew what i was talking about

[Task Force]

Granted but you still dont understand.

I wish I had a new Joystick so I can get back in the Sky with the IL2 people.:D

[TarJak]

Granted, but the IL2 people just shoot you down cos they are jealous of your new joystick.

I wish it did what it said on the tin

[Randomizer]

New Page, new dreams to crush...

Granted but what it says on the tin is "Contents: Hellspawn, anthrax, botulism toxin, nerve gas, mustard gas, flatulence odour, dog and cat breath, vindaloo and black lung. Open this tin and you will die horribly. Use only as directed. Keep out of reach of children. Store in a cool dry place out of direct sunlight. For special offers call 1-877-NOW-U-DIE."

I wish for a machine that can convert politicians into degenerate matter on demand.

[Koondawg]

Granted there is now a machine that can convert politicians into degenerate matter on demand...however the matter is now a huge pile os sheet..piled as high as the Washington monument.

I wished Youtube wasn't on the Safe Filter here at work....

[NealT]

Granted it isn't, but then you find out that your computer network catches a virus, crashes, and you hve to start doing everything by hand again.

I wish I had eaten last night.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but 'last night' was undercooked and you now suffer from food poisoning.

I wish my mantra was stable.

[Koondawg]

Granted your mantra is stable but the rest of you is flaccid and the bitch across from you is in the mood for a pony ride....so she now dry humps you into a pile of sawdust...



I wish sawdust smelt like baking brownies....

[Task Force]

Granted now people are fighting to get to it, But they find is tastes like eating wood not brownys. They hunt you down and keep you in a cage.;)

I wish for it to be the day school gets out for Christmas break.:D

[Raptor1]

Granted, but that doesn't change the fact that you DO have school, which means you just wasted a perfectly good day off

I wish my school exploded in a shower of fire and pizza

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your school exploded in a shower of fire and pizza, but the fire burned the pizza beyond all recognition and since you wished it to happen, your fellow pizza loving students turn into an angry mob, capture you, tie you to a stake and roast you over the embers of your school/pizza

I wish the students at Raptor1school weren't so mean

[Raptor1]

Granted, the angry mob is overrun by one of Raptorland's armored divisions and they live in fear for the rest of their lives

I wish I could achieve a breakthrough in the German lines by attacking with massed infantry charges and some newfangled secret weapon in July

[Randomizer]

Granted, but now it is September and your breakthrough was 3 metres wide and 1 metre deep at a cost of 127,000 Raptorland troops. Too bad that your newfangled secret weapon was the rubber bayonet.

I wish that new printer cartidges were free.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, new printer cartridges are free. Free of ink:D

I wish this guy ( ;) ) would quit winking at me

[Platapus]

I wish for a scrambled egg, fully cooked with the sunny side up


Scrambled egg sunny side up?????
:hmm:

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, new printer cartridges are free. Free of ink:D

I wish this guy ( ;) ) would quit winking at me

Granted, but he starts to flip you off.

I wish that I could be any character from the Godfather that I wanted to be. (It's on A&E right now!)

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you have to stick to the script!

I wish I had some kind of wish that made sense to everyone but still included foul beasts and flaming chimps

[Task Force]

Granted but it is rightfuly crushed.:yep:

I wish my summer vaycation would start a month early and school would start a month late for now on.:rock:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you don't have enough money to last the extended vacation and you fail your exams to boot.

I wish sanity was ridiculous.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but due to a clerical error in granting your wish it now becomes "sanitation is ridiculous". The subsequent decline in personal cleanliness creates terrible situations for indoor workers as offices smell like orfices and cities take on a stench that makes the inside of a U-Boat smell like a rose. Eventually plague breaks out killing billions and creating a new dark age across the entire globe. Somebody eventually discovers that you created the problem and your punishment is to be smothered by the stinky bottom of the woman that works across from your desk.

I wish loaves of bread were always oven fresh and still warm.

[NealT]

Granted, but then you cannot stop eating them with loads of real butter and you blow up like a balloon until you explode and can never taste them again.

I wish I had eaten last night (2nd day in a row).

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but for the second day in a row the food you eat is contaminated with milk derived from China and you are violently sick.

I wish today was just another day.

[Raptor1]

Granted, just another day in Siberia

I wish Siberia was west of St. Petersburg

[Task Force]

Granted, but now maps are skrewed up and people are getting lost and creates a riot on the reason for all this..... YOU.:yep:

I wish tomorrow was saturday.:p :yep:

Yay i started a new page.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted but today is monday.

I wish everyone knew that the sandwich was a spy.

[Jimbuna]

granted, that's why they 'battered' it.

I wish dignity and respect were recognised by all.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you have none

I wish squares were actually square

[NealT]

Granted, but then they would all have a flattop haircut.

I wish there were more good movies out.

[Randomizer]

Granted but all are in Latin and subtitled in Sanskrit.

I wish for another wish.

[Mush Martin]

Granted but its given to Ubootecomrade.

I wish we had enough between us to buy
HMS Whimbrel from the egyption govt.

[Koondawg]

Granted you buy the HMS Whimbrel from the egyptian govt. Although shipping costs forces you to put it on a train. Jimbo the local hobo shares a car with you and does nothing but talk about the fat bitch who sits across from him while trimming his toenails....
You go madly insane tossing Jimbo from the boxcar which just afterwards gets robbed by a camel train....

I wish MM hadn't of tossed Jimbuna from the train

[Task Force]

Granted he tosses you from a train.

I wish I didnt have to go to sleep untill 0:45 hrs.:D

[Koondawg]

Granted you go to sleep at 0:44 and sleep throughout the night. And while you were sleeping you were abducted by aliens who do a full frontal labotomy...finding nothing

I wish Jimbo washere to share his plethora of information

[Randomizer]

Granted, and amongst the plethora of information he has to share with you is the intimate details of the alien's pre-lobotomy rectal probe of poor Task Force. There they DID find something.

I wish every night was 15-cent wing night at the local pub.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but then he would rant something about the bitch sitting opposite to him

EDIT: Gah

Granted, but given that you too are poor hobo, you don't have 15 cents to spare

I wish I had someone to play BattleTech with

[TarJak]

Granted, but you can only play against the world Battle Tech champ who whoops yo sorry ass every time you play

I wish the internet had more to it

[NealT]

Granted it does, but your operating system crashes and will not allow you access to it.

I wish today were not Monday.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it isn't, because you slept right through the clock.

I wish the TJ would sort the hotel arrangements for next weeks SS Meet...I might just take the ugly bitch that sits opposite me at work along for the ride.

[Raptor1]

Granted, he signs up with the Discount Shady Motel from across the street

I wish the mud didn't reduce my CTL

[TarJak]

Granted, but your Nat mod is still -5

I wish I understood what that was all about.

[Koondawg]

Granted you understand what 'THAT' is all about but you forget what when is all about and your late going anywhere.


I wish someone would tell me how lucky I am to be working here.

[nikimcbee]

Granted, you love the lipstick and fishnets, but it beats what your major was in college: clown soldier
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g17/Sgt-Smithy/World%20War%20I/pie_face.gif

I wish I could get more miles out of this GIF.
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g17/Sgt-Smithy/World%20War%20I/pie_face.gif

[nikimcbee]

Granted, you love the lipstick and fishnets, but it beats what your major was in college: clown soldier
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g17/Sgt-Smithy/World%20War%20I/pie_face.gif

I wish I could get more miles out of this GIF.
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g17/Sgt-Smithy/World%20War%20I/pie_face.gif

[Randomizer]

Granted but unfortunately the M-288 Cream Pie Grenade was not in service during WW2 and the Mk-83 Gag Wig did not resemble the one shown and it was replaced by the Mk-141 Bald-Head skull cap anyway. Historians recognize your .gif as a fake and you are thoroughly discredited and are never listened to again. Everybody knows that the multi-coloured clown wigs were not introduced into combat until Korea, during the winter of 1951-52.

I wish politicians had to debate while wearing clown costumes.

[Koondawg]

Granted but only with the men. The women have to well wear something to this effect....

http://i324.photobucket.com/albums/k336/TPLAW/sarah-palin-hot.jpg


I wish somebody's lack of planning wasn't my friggen emergency

[NealT]

Granted, it isn't...is is now everyone's emergency.

I wish boomers were bigger.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, boomers are bigger. The number of letters has been increased by one and boomers are now bloomers

I wish my bloomers had lots of pretty missiles

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but some of them missiles are targetted at uranus.

I wish monopoly money was legal tender.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you draw a "GO-TO-JAIL!" card, and you lose all your hotels. Deeply depressed, you commit suicide as the stock market crashes.

I wish that I could force Bobby McFerrin to dish out any tune I requested of him.

[TarJak]

Granted, however for some reason you keep requesting "Don't worry, Be Happy" ad infinitum.

I wish Bobby McFerrin would sing something other than what Stealth Hunter keeps requesting.

[Randomizer]

Granted, you will now be treated to endless Bobby McFerrin repititions of the theme song to Gilligan's Island. Enjoy.

I wish that the ridiculous was actually sublime.

[NealT]

Granted, there are subliminal messages buried in the ridiculous and the next thing you know, you are putting on makeup and sauntering up to JB telling him you are his bit#@.

I wish Sarah Palin didn't have such good looking legs in her short leather skirt...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, she now has legs that resemble the arms of a gorilla....all the better to hug you with.

I wish politicians were truthful, honest and sincere.

[Koondawg]

Granted but now they are your parents...



I wish RR technology would allow me to be in Houston in one hour for about 45 bux....

[Raptor1]

Granted, it allows you to be all over Houston in very small pieces

I wish that German armor was made out of swiss cheese and unable to defend across rivers

[Randomizer]

Granted but the chief ingredient in Swiss Cheese is Krupp face-hardened, high-carbon, cemented steel armour plate. And global warming has dried up all the rivers.

I wish that a stich in time did in fact, save nine...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it only saves nine cents in monetary terms.

I wish silence was golden.

[Raptor1]

Granted, and therefore hurts a lot when dropped from a great height

I wish you could drop golden silence

[NealT]

Granted, but then it shatters the outer shell and it turns into green goo.

I wish golden raisins were not silent.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but that means only you can hear them talk. People see you having hour-long conversations with raisins. They commit you to a mental institution where you spend the rest of your life, heavily sedated (just like the guy who killed John Lennon; he used to perform guitar concerts for "little people" who lived in his walls).

I wish that Lt. Bojangles would fit in with the rest of the company:

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g17/Sgt-Smithy/World%20War%20I/pie_face.gif

[Task Force]

Granted, now the rest of Lt. Bojangles company starts wearing clown apperal, not good for camoflauge.

I wish steed would get shot through time and space.:D :lol:

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, now the rest of Lt. Bojangles company starts wearing clown apperal, not good for camoflauge.

I wish steed would get shot through time and space.:D :lol:

Granted, but he causes them to rip apart, thus destroying all that is and ever will be.

I wish that Empire: Total War would come out already.


(That logic is flawed. See, they're gonna be looking for soldiers; they'll NEVER suspect clowns.):yep:

[Task Force]

Granted, now the rest of Lt. Bojangles company starts wearing clown apperal, not good for camoflauge.

I wish steed would get shot through time and space.:D :lol:

Granted, but he causes them to rip apart, thus destroying all that is and ever will be.

I wish that Empire: Total War would come out already.


(That logic is flawed. See, they're gonna be looking for soldiers; they'll NEVER suspect clowns.):yep:

Granted, it is released, but it has more bugs than any other game ever made.

I wish I had one of these:lurk: .:D

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but the pressure hull fails, and you sink to the bottom, trapped and unable to escape. You suffocate a few hours later.

I wish that I had a flying horse.

[Randomizer]

Granted but it will only fly as far as your patented Horse-Flinger brand Long-Range Trebuchet will throw it, about 250 metres with a tail wind. Landings are tricky too...

I wish Cats could talk.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but only CATS can

http://www.allyourbasearebelongtous.com/allyourbase.jpg

I wish speaking like a lolcat was acceptable by society

[NealT]

Granted so now you are a lolcat but unable to type properly on the computer keyboards therefore no one here understands you anymore.

I wish the asteriod would miss us.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it hits the moon instead, knocking it out of orbit and slamming it into the earth

I wish the moon was made of cheese so we would survive the cataclysm

[TarJak]

Granted, however it is made of blue cheese and the stench is getting seriously annoying

I wish colonoscopy's on each and every one of you sans anesthetic

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but a similar fate awaits you in Texas next week whilst your sleeping.

I wish I didn't snore like a pig in the middle of the night keeping everyone I am sharing with awake.

[TarJak]

Granted, the piglike noises you make remind some good ol boys of a scene from Deliverance instead and you stay awake all night.

I wish I could find my passport

[Raptor1]

Granted, finding it is easy, but getting it from the Maw of Infinite Horrors is a different story

I wish I wrote faster than whoever already posted before me

EDIT: Uh...

EDIT 2: Does anyone find this page strangely different than it used to be a couple of hours ago?

[Randomizer]

Granted, but you type so fast that all of your writing reads as gibberish and nobody can understand you.

I wish that I had seen this strangely different page from a couple of hours ago.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you did, can't you remember your last wish was at the top of this page, not at the bottom of the last page?

I wish I knew who's responsible for this obstruction of justice

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is you....now move along elsewhere.

I wish curiosity hadn't killed the cat.

[NealT]

Granted, it didn't - the investigators have finally reported out and their findings are that you did. You are put away in an old French dungeon where you encounter TJ and learn the real meaning behind the word "Painful".

I wish my boss would let me go home to the wife early today. :smug:

[Raptor1]

Granted, your "boss" let's you "go home" in a "match box" to your "wife" early

I wish everyone talked in quotes

[NealT]

Granted, they do but you still have to understand what they say which sometimes is not an easy thing to do because many of them are quoting something they know everything about except for those who know nothing about it.

I wish today were cooler than yesterday.

[Randomizer]

Granted. However, everybody else in the world finds it highly irritating and then you are discovered to be the source of the problem.
Tried and convicted of being a smart a$$ you are sentenced to Quote:
"Enprisonment in the confines of a colostomy bag in a place where cholera is rampent for not less than two-years with the chance of parole in 729-days."

D'oh, too slow...

I wish today were cooler than yesterday.
Granted, but yesterday's high was +1 degree kelvin.

I wish there were whale's tails for sales in jails.

[NealT]

Granted, and they go for quite a bit because the prisoners are fed so little that most of them are skinny so the bigger ones with the bigger a$$ make a whole lot of money.

I wish today was 10 degrees cooler than yesterday's 75 degrees F.

[Raptor1]

Granted, 10 degrees C cooler (Which I frankly won't find to be a problem)

I wish tempratures were always below 20 degrees C

[TarJak]

Granted, they sit at 19.999999999999deg C forever and everyone wears comfortable clothes.

I wish I could find some comfortable clothes

[NealT]

Granted, but they are in a store and when you walk out with them and without paying for them, they arrest you, try you, convict you, and send you off to that prison I talked about earlier where JB pays you back for the pain you caused him.

I wish I had scored 100% on that test today instead of a 97%.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you live in a world where smart people are killed so they wouldn't be able to threaten the government

I wish I remembered the name of the story I got that idea from

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you remember the name of the story you got that idea from, but are now perceived as smart and are killed so as not to be a threat to the governemnt

I wish the VA lab wasn't inhabited by vampires

[Task Force]

Granted it is now inhabited by Vampire bats.;)

I wish I had a nice pen.:D

WOO HOO I started a new page.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it falls out of your pocket one day through a sewer grate and down into the mucky river of waste.

I wish that I had my own theme song.

[Task Force]

Granted but here it is. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vzo0iHrivVQ&feature=related Be advise.

I wish that dum dinasuar would disappear forever.:rock:

[TarJak]

Granted, but Baby Bop becomes the host of the show and is even more sickly sweet and popular than Barney

I wish I didn't know about that show (darned kids)

[Raptor1]

Granted, therefore you are more disgusted when you witness it for the first time all over again

I wish I had a...SPEAR AND MAGIC HELMET!

[Koondawg]

Granted you now have a spear and a magic helmet. Although your spear is only 3 inches long and covered with a rubber glow in the dark helmet, you can now frolic through the country-side. The farmers rejoice knowing the sheep are safe. There is a holiday named for you...Purple Helmet safety Day



I wish the coke machine would never run out of pink lemonade...

[Randomizer]

Granted, the coke machine can never run out of pink lemonade because it will only accept ancient Greek talents as currancy. Since this coinage has not existed for over 2000 years looks like you're out of luck. Don't even think of trying to break into the machine either, the owners have it monitored 24-hour a day using trained attack lemurs and evil dwarves.

I wish all lemons were pink.

[Raptor1]

Granted,a mysterious pandemic causes all Lemons to be pink, world economy collapses as the Lemon black-market falls and we are all reduced to living the rest of our lives in the sewers

I wish I knew how that made sense

[NealT]

Granted you do, but you are just unable to articulate that to others so they all think you are dumb.

I wish my Navy Field account would give me a bonus...

[Raptor1]

Granted, a bonus to spread, reload and repair time

I wish my bottle of Coca Cola was omnipotent

[Jimbuna]

Granted, so now, between you, your a right omnipotent pair.

I wish my clothes would dry.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your clothes dry, but they get so dry that they crumble and turn to ashes just as you are sitting down at the desk across from that biatch and she gets so turned on that she can't help but jump your bones

I wish I had a Tootsie-Roll

[TarJak]

Granted, Tootsie has come for a roll... in the hay with you.

I wish caramel was more chocolatey

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, however the level of chocolate in the caramel puts the flavor out of balance and now it just tastes like dog poo. :yep:


I wish the glorious army of Ubootcomradeland to commence with Operation Thunderstrike: the airborne invasion of Raptorland.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but the Raptorland Airforce throws itself at your transports, shooting them from the sky in flames. Operation Thunderstrike is a disaster of the first order and you are cashiered from the Uboatcomradeland armed forces in disgrace. You spend your days living in a septic tank wondering why everybody seems to crap on you all day long.

I wish that Raptorland expected every man to do his duty.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but most Raptorland men are traffic wardens and parking tickets are a totally useless defence against your opponents tanks.

I wish my holiday would start sooner rather than later.

[Task Force]

Granted now it starts later than sooner.;)

I wish I had a nice bottle of Pepsi.:D

[Randomizer]

Granted but the bottle is made with Jello brand gelatin and it dissolves while you type your next post. The Pepsi then destroys your keyboard, computer, wealth, residence and beer fridge.

I wish it was now or never.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, it is now or never, but since we can't figure out which of the two it is, we all get totally confused and end up electing PeeWee Herman president and Gary Glitter as VP.

I wish Tootsie had been a better roll in the hay

[Koondawg]

Granted Tootsie was a better rool in the hay although you forgot about her bucket, which you were dwelving into, has now filled up with hay strands. Upon a happy ending your private Johnson now looks like a pissed off porcupine...no woman wll ever deal with you again


I wished we all could get bailed out when we couldn't make the bills...

[TarJak]

Granted but of course that tanks the economy again anyway

I wish dinner was cooked

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it's already cold.

I wish that I had more graham crackers.

[NealT]

Granted you now have more graham crackers, but since your colonoscopy is tomorrow and you are taking the 'clean out liquid' you are unable to eat any today.

I wish cream cheese were not as fatty as it is.

[TarJak]

Granted, Stealth Hunter has preprocessed it for you using his clean out liquid so the fat isn't inside you long enough to enter your arteries

I wish I had a pet Iron Chef

[NealT]

Granted but it is a hairy, furry, knife-wielding CAT and since you are allergic, you throw it under a bus.

I wish people weren't so quick to answer these posts...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, now they're just prompt.

I wish my chest infection would end.

[Task Force]

Granded, it just went away, but it comes back later at full strength.;)

I wish for everyones dreams except mine to be crushed throghly.;)

[Randomizer]

Granted, your dreams are no longer crushed, they are instead knocked down, burnt and sunk into a sewage lagoon.

I wish for good health to all Dream Crushers.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, that means my chest infection clears up.

I wish for good weather whilst I'm at Texas next week.

[Task Force]

Gramted but you still have that chest infection.;)

I wish I could get IL2 to load past 95%.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it stops at 96% but since the loading screen only displays semi-round numbers (As far as I can see), you notice no difference

I wish time wasn't so slow

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, time is now infinitely fast, so fast that our lives are like the fleeting thoughts of a love-bug being smashed on a windshield

I wish I had an ICBM armed with a poop brick warhead

[Jimbuna]

Granted, all you need now is a reliable and accurate delivery system.

I wish I wish upon a star.

[Raptor1]

Granted, the star laughs at your pathetic attempts to wish upon it

I wish this was not the case

[SandyCaesar]

Granted, it's no longer the case, it's the box.

I wish I could come up with a good comeback.

[TarJak]

Granted, but as it takes you 3 weeks to come uip with it is too late as everyone else has moved on

I wish grey was the new black

[Task Force]

Granted, now everythings bland and looks black and white.;)

I wish I could get the bullet trails in IL2 to work now.:-?

[Raptor1]

Granted, and they're flying right into your tail

I wish that "Name that Bomber" thread would get down and stay there, I still have nightmares from the last time...

[Task Force]

Granted, It stays down, and dissapears. Then It come back at full strength.;)

I wish I was a fish.:D

[SandyCaesar]

Granted, you're now a torpedo.

I wish my work were done.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it didn't help anyone

I wish to psychoanalyze...YOU

[SandyCaesar]

Granted, but the results are so traumatic that your brain fails instantly.

I wish it weren't so cold.

[Task Force]

Granted but to make it warmer we had to pull the sun closer to earth and we all burn up as the atmosphere is distroyed by the heat.;)

I wish I could charge you all 80 dollars a month for breathing air.;)

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you are sued for being a Monopoly, forced to shamefully retire and live the rest of your life in a garbage can

I wish the court wasn't so hard on Task Force

[Task Force]

Granted there not so hard on task force and they send him to jail where he breaks out and hunts a guy he calls Raptor1, lets hope he dosent find him...:x

I wish Raptor1 could take my jail time.:yep:

[Randomizer]

Granted but he shows up at the jail just in time for what would have been Task Force's transfer to a minimum security prison complete with golf course, big screen TV's, conjugal visits and Wednesday night poker games.

I wish that this guy... :nope: would lighten up.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, he's so light that he floats away into the atmosphere never to post on SS again.

I wish it was Wednesday 8th over in Texas.

[TarJak]

Granted, but then its Thursday the 9th where you are so you've missed your plane.

I wish Jim would remember to bring his beer money on Wednesday.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, purchased my US Pesos yesterday.

I wish the exchange rate had of been as high as it was a week earlier.

PS. I missed you by 4 minutes over on TS earlier :damn:

[NealT]

Granted, but then you find that (1) you purchased the wrong currency for the country you are going to and (2) the currency you did purchase is counterfeit so now, you are completely out of luck and headed for that jail that TF was headed for.

I wish I could have stayed at home today and slept...

[Raptor1]

Granted, you are now sick

I wish that I could properly wish a wish before the next person wishes and thus invalidate my wish with a crushing crush, or something like that

[NealT]

Granted. You are now Brag.

I wish I did not have such a strange sense of humor.

[Randomizer]

Granted, you under go a sex change and now being female, you have no sense of humour whatsoever.

I wish for greater nutation in Earth's orbit.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it doesn't effect anything important

I wish October 21st wasn't annual doomsday

[TarJak]

Granted it has been moved to 8th October 2008

I wish I could fly first class to Houston

[Kratos]

Granted it has been moved to 8th October 2008

I wish I could fly first class to Houston
Granted: But you get so used to the upper class standards,when you get to Houston in your little B&B the standards drop and you got to share your amenitys with JImbo and your dreams are shattered.
http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/5364/men9ul3.gif

I wish i was a few Peso's behind Jimbuna then i could afford to go to Houston?

[Koondawg]

Granted but the few peso's your behind Jimbo lands you in a mexican jail...here we go again. Your Manuel's bitch and succomb to his pleasures on a daily basis...if you were to jump out of a plane you would whistle all the way down...


I wish whoever did stupid **** would get slapped by a giant hand upside the head

[NealT]

Granted, you now have a big red welt on the side of your face.

I wish for a wish that was a wish someone would wish and never have to wish for a wish and not because they were dead or in a coma.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, whatever it meant.

I wish for a safe flight to Houston on Wednesday with plenty of British Airways complimentary food and alcoholic drinks.

[TarJak]

Granted, but because you asked for BA food it is truly BA. (Bloody Awful)

I wish Houston was closer

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is, but it's closer for me.

I wish to know who the VIP speaker is at the Meet.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you now know that the VIP speaker at the meet is Gary Glitter.

I wish it was going to be Michael Jackson instead

[Jimbuna]

Granted, so the meeting should be a 'thriller'.

I now know who it is, I wish I could tell everyone.

[TarJak]

Granted, but no-one was listening as usual

I wish people listened

[Task Force]

Granted but they arnt careing.:lol:

I wish for the people going to the SS meeting to have a great time and bring back lots of pics and some vedio of the tour of the Battle ship Texas.;)

[SandyCaesar]

Granted, but they let everyone but you see it.

I wish I could attend the Subsim meet instead of being submerged in work.

[Koondawg]

Granted you make it to the Subsim meeting although your work follows you and you spend all your time working and miss all the activities...including Jimbo hurling seafood

I wish my wish to be wished by someone else..thus giving me time to consol myself over the NO Saints loss to the suckass MN Vikings....

KD

[Raptor1]

Granted, and he wishes the NO Saints to be humiliated even further

I wish...nothing...

[nikimcbee]

Granted, and he wishes the NO Saints to be humiliated even further

I wish...nothing...

Granted, here's an empty envelope.

I wish I could quit posting and go to bed.:dead:

[TarJak]

Granted, you got to bed missing your chance to crush my wish

I wish that I could buy Nikimcbee a beer at the Subsim meeting.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, that one has already been sorted....but don't forget to buy me one too.

I wish my gum would heal from the recent extraction....I don't fancy eating a liquidised Texan steak.

BTW...you just missed privateer over on TS http://imgcash4.imageshack.us/img144/3336/tonguecm5.gif

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you still don't have any teeth

I wish Real Life™ 2.0 would be released already

[NealT]

Granted but all the copies sell out before you get there, your get robbed of all your cash and credit cards, and then get run over by a rogue elephant trying to get to the bank so you can check out another store and spend the remainder of your days dazed by the fact that you are still alive, well, and in one piece, therefore not caring about new computer games any more.

I wish I had been able to sleep better last night.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you slept so well last night that you never woke up and this is all a dream, and when you awaken it will be the day before the end of the world.

I wish he hadn't slept so well

[Raptor1]

Granted, he slept even better

I vich I coold proprely sentanse make a

[kranz]

Granted, you can make proper sentences but still no1 gives a f*ck what you write.

I wish Raptor1's sig was narrower

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only in the broadest sense of the word.

I wish the timing was right.

[Digital_Trucker]

The timing is right, but since it was supposed to be left, the entire thing is now off balance and creates a blue hole that swallows the Large Hardon Collider

I wish I could remember who, who, who wrote the book of love

[TarJak]

Granted, you remember that it was the Maquis de Sade

I wish I had a crab salad

[Raptor1]

Granted, you had it, and now you finished it, therefore becoming crab salad-less once more

I wish south was north without somehow making north south